Transition
by The Mominator
Summary: Alex notices a change in Bobby. Which is affecting their partnership. She struggles with her feelings for him and her devotion to her career. Major Changes ahead. B/A SHIP AT THE END. Part 3 is titled A Wedding Story.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Bobby and Alex enter the Lowell home around 5:15 AM. There are teenagers in the house and outside. All of them are high or drunk. Most of them don't know what has happened. Busloads of kids are driven to the nearest police station where they must wait until a parent or guardian picks them up.

A young girl, who has been identified as Michelle Yardley, lies on a bed in one of the rooms upstairs. There is no sign of sexual assault. After Bobby's first meeting with Richard Lowell, the eighteen-year-old senior who lives here, he is convinced that he has his murderer.

Bobby and Alex go through the usual routine of investigating the case but Bobby is not as responsive to her comments and she starts to feel that his attitude toward the teenager is of hatred.

Alex confronts him one afternoon.

"Bobby, Bobby, earth to Bobby. Goddamnit Goren answer me."

"What, I heard you, didn't you see me nod."

"I would prefer a response and maybe you could look at me when I'm talking to you."

"Jesus, alright, what." He looks at her and crosses his arms.

"Do you have some personal vendetta against this kid, there were over sixty five kids at that party and you're just focusing on Richard."

"Do you think he's innocent?"

"Right now I don't think we can say he's guilty or innocent, we have a lot more areas to cover."

"I want to bring him in, his parents too, we all need to have a talk."

"Did you even hear what I said?"

"I heard you, let's go get the them."

_A wall, it's like talking to a wall. _

She follows him out of the station and as usual, she drives. As it has been for the past week if Alex does not start a conversation, he just sits there in silence. This afternoon Alex is no mood for chitchat.

_If he doesn't want to talk, it's ok with me_.

**Interrogation Room**

**Friday 4:30 PM**

Alex starts the questioning. "Your son has a party at your home and a teenage girl is found murdered and all you can say is, that's what happens when teenagers drink too much."

"He always has a party when we go out of town." Says Mr. Lowell.

"Nothing like this has ever happened before." Says Mrs. Lowell.

"How often do you go out of town?"

"At least twice a month."

"Why don't one of you stay home or why don't you take your son with you."

"My wife is good company for me when I travel and Richard would just be bored."

Alex shakes her head in disbelief.

Bobby gets up from his chair, walks around the table, and sits directly across from Mr. Lowell.

"How many drinks have you had today, Mr. Lowell?"

"I beg your pardon."

"I want to know how much alcohol you have consumed this morning?"

"I was upset and I had two martinis."

Bobby looks at Alex. "You see when it's martinis it's alright to drink before noon."

Alex shakes her head. "Unbelievable."

"What about you Mrs. Lowell, look at yourself, you're what 40, 45 years old and you're wearing clothes most 25 year olds would be afraid to wear."

"My wife takes good care of her body she looks good in those clothes."

Bobby gets up from the chair and walks around the room.

"Does she always expose her breasts like that to men she has never meet before, I mean, Jesus Christ I can see her nipples." Looking over at Richard, "Does your Mom always show herself off like that?"

"How dare you speak to us that way," Says Mr. Lowell

"How dare I, your wife is the one sitting there with her tits hanging out and she's been flirting with me ever since she sat down."

"Linda, button up your blouse."

"Good, now I can concentrate."

Alex is starting to feel a little uncomfortable. Bobby does have an unusual way of interrogating people, but some how this feels different.

Bobby sits back down, this time between Mister and Misses Lowell.

"You don't think your son is responsible, do you?"

Mr. Lowell speaks. "No, he didn't force those kids to drink and do drugs."

"Did you know that she was only fourteen years old?"

Richard says, "No, no way there were freshman at my party."

"Are you trying to tell us," Pointing at Alex. "That you knew every kid that was there that night."

"UM, no, I guess not."

"According to the police report." Bobby opens his leather case. "There were at least 60 to 70 kids in and around your house that night."

Mrs. Lowell says. "It was an accident."

"No, it was murder, she was suffocated."

Looking at Richard, "But you already knew that didn't you?"

Richard is shaking his head. "NO!"

"You killed her you little bastard, why?"

"I didn't kill her I swear, I couldn't hurt anyone."

"Yeah, well I think you could and I know did, you knew that she was drunk and it would be easy to get back at her, you held a pillow over her face."

"No, No it wasn't me."

"Why, why did you do it, did she make fun of you, call you a dork and you couldn't take it anymore, could you? The name calling, these kids, the only reason they come to your parties is because you supply them with alcohol and drugs and after you do that for them, they still make fun of you, you just don't fit in."

Looking at Mister and Misses Lowell, "We went to your sons school, Detective Eames and I. and we couldn't find one kid who even considers themselves his friend and the only reason they go to his parties is because of the exuberate amount of alcohol and drugs that they know will be there."

"That's not true."

"The M.E. said that she was unconscious when she was suffocated, we couldn't find any skin under her fingernails, no fibers were found from the killers clothes." Looking at Richard, "When you found her lying there, you thought you could get back at her, didn't you?"

"No. I did not do that."

"Did you try to take advantage of her? The buttons to her blouse were done up wrong and her bra was unhooked in the back but we did not find any semen. Did you try to have sex with her but you couldn't get it up? So you blamed her, didn't you, got angry and then you suffocated her."

Richard is shaking his head no.

Bobby stands up and walks around the room, "Come on Richard, admit it, I know you did it."

Richard stays silent.

Bobby sits down next to Richard. "You think you were picked on in high school wait till you get to prison, everyday they'll be some guy just waiting to fuck you in the ass."

"You can't talk to us that way, do you have any idea who you're talking to?"

Bobby stand up looks at Mr. and Mrs. Lowell. "Sure I do. A drunk, a slut, and a murderer."

Captain Deakins knocks on the window.

"We'll be right back."

"Don't you think you were a little hard on him?"

"No. What did you want me to do, kiss his ass?"

"I didn't say that."

"Why? Whose brother in law is he?"

"No one that I know of, besides that has never mattered to me, you know that, it wasn't the parents I was talking about, I meant the kid."

Kid or not he's a murderer."

"Are you really convinced that he did it?"

"Yes I am."

Alex has been quite since they went into the observation room. "You know it's funny that you never discussed with me what you were going to do in there."

"What. I have to explain everything that I do with you?"

"No not everything. I didn't know what direction you were heading, you kept changing strategies."

Very sarcastically, he says. "Well if your having trouble keeping up."

"Keeping up?" She raises her voice. "You pompous bastard, you think that I can't keep up with you?"

"Well now that you say it."

She interrupts him. "No Bobby, keep your mouth shut, it's my turn to talk. Do you think you can handle that? I mean someone else's voice besides yours? For the past week I have put up with your shitty attitude, fool moods and you barely speak to me. If there's something bothering you, and I'm getting to the point where I'm starting not to care, you better do something about."

Alex turns and slams the door as she leaves the room.

The Captain is ready to say something when Bobby does the same.

Alex is at her desk putting things in order as Bobby passes and heads for the roof.

The roof of One Police Plaza has always been a haven for Bobby. He sits up against the two-foot ledge, goes into his pocket, and takes out a cigarette. Within five minutes Alex is on the roof, she walks over to him and he looks up at her.

"I'm sorry. I have a habit of saying things before my brain has a chance to catch up."

Sarcastically she says. "No, really, I've never noticed."

"You know how bright I think you are."

"Damn right."

She sits down next to him.

"When did you start smoking again?"

Last week sometime, I know it's disgusting but it calms me down.

"Well I don't think you're smoking enough."

He laughs and so does she.

"Can't get anything past you, can I?"

"No, you never have and you never will."

He looks at her. "Pompous bastard?"

"I just calls em as I sees em, besides you deserved it."

"Yeah I guess you're right."

"Of course, I really didn't mean that I don't care about what's bothering you."

He just smiles and shakes his head.

"What? What are you grinning about?"

"We're a pair, aren't we?"

He lights up another cigarette, he just looks up at the sky. Alex puts her arm through his and says nothing. She waits for him to talk.

"She's going to get away with it. I know it. She's going to beat me again."

Alex hears something in his voice that she has never heard before, self-doubt, as if his confidence has been shattered.

"I mean look at her and look at me. Do you really think they'll believe me?"

"Why shouldn't they? It's not like she's new to the courtroom scene, she's been there before. They will remember her. Bobby with your help we have arrested her three accomplices and they are all willing to testify against her and along with your testimony, she'll be convicted this time, you'll see, I'm sure of it."

He smiles at her as she moves closer to him. He puts his arms around her. He looks down at her as he traces the outline of her chin with his finger and lifts her head ever so gently. Their eyes meet, he kisses her lightly on the lips, and then he pulls away very quickly. "I'm sorry."

Before she has a chance to say anything or even respond, his lips are on hers again, she opens her mouth to let his tongue in, she runs her fingers through his hair and pulls him closer to her. He leaves her lips and starts nibbling and kissing her ear. He caresses her breasts as he starts to kiss her neck. His hands are all over her body. His hand touches her leg and he rubs the inside of her thigh as he spreads her legs apart, his hand slips between her legs.

"Bobby."

She takes a hold of his hand. He stops kissing her and lays his head down on her shoulder.

"This isn't the right place or time. Let's not do something that we might regret later."

He nods his head in agreement

"Do I have to let you go now?"

"No."

They hold each other in silence.

"Well I guess we'd better go back down."

"Yeah they might think I killed you."

He laughs. "For a moment there I don't know... you looked like you wanted to."

"Believe me it crossed my mind. And not just today."

They both laugh. Bobby stand ups. "It's so quiet up here, you almost forget all the shit that goes on down there."

"Come on Bobby let's go."

"Yeah, yeah,"

As soon as they enter the squad room, Captain Deakins notices them and exits his office quickly.

"Is everything alright?" He asks looking at Alex.

"Yes, it's been worked out." She looks at Bobby who is smiling at her.

Looking in Bobby's direction, "Carver said we had to cut the kid loose, are you alright with that?"

"Yeah, the kid didn't do it, after all the things I said to him and the personality he has, he would have admitted it, just to please me."

Alex walks from behind her desk. "When did you come to that realization?"

"About two minutes ago, ok."

"OK."

Bobby picks up his leather case. "Well I have had about enough of this place that I can take for one day. I'm outta here."

Deakins wishes them both a good night and goes back to his office.

"Alex?"

"Yeah."

"Are we ok?"

"Yeah. Bobby we're ok."

"Thanks Alex, Goodnight."

"Bobby, wait."

"What?"

"Do you want to get something to eat?"

"Sure."

They start walking toward the elevator. "What are you in the mood for?"

"Something fattening." Alex says.

He laughs.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**Friday Night**

**Alex's Place**

Alex arrives at her apartment a little after 10PM. She tosses her jacket on the chair by the door and flings her shoes across the room.

She walks into the kitchen and pours herself a glass of wine; she takes the wine with her into the bedroom. She changes into sweatpants and a big t-shirt. She goes into the living room, clicks on the TV, sits down on the couch, and takes a sip of wine.

"That tastes good."

_Weird, what a weird day._

_That man is gonna make me crazy._

_Shit._

_I can't get him, out of my head._

Her cell phone rings and it startles her. She spills the wine on her pants.

"Damn it."

"Hello."

"Hey Alex, you forgot to call me back."

"I just spilled wine on myself, hold on, I have to change my clothes."

They continue to talk while she changes. She puts her sweats in the bathroom sink for a soak.

"Why are you drinking wine?"

"It tastes good. I'm over 21, way over, Ok MOM."

"Ok."

She returns to the kitchen and fills up the glass with more wine.

"What's up Laurie?"

"Did you talk to Mom tonight?"

"No I haven't. Is there a problem?"

"Isn't there always a problem."

Both women laugh and shake their heads at the same time. Alex leans back on the couch.

"You know Mom. What happened?"

"It seems that she has called you and you haven't called her back either, so she told me to call you and find out why you're ignoring her."

"Oh Jesus Christ. I'd better call her, oh shit, it's after eleven. I can't call her now, they're in bed already."

"Do me a favor, call her first thing in the morning or she'll be calling me every hour on the hour tomorrow."

"I will. I promise."

"Thanks Alex, you sound tired are you feeling alright?"

"It was a strange day."

"What did he do this time."

A smile crosses her face. Alex and her younger sister have always been close and they can read each other's mood.

"I don't want to talk about it tonight, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure you will."

"I will. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

**Bobby's Place**

Bobby is sitting on a park bench and a white cat walks across his path turns, then jumps on the bench, snuggles, and purrs at him. He moves his hand down to pet the cat and it hisses at him and runs away.

He is then looking through a window of a store and the cat returns. The cat walks in between his legs and it is purring, he tries again to pet the cat and it scratches him and runs away.

"Screw you, stop bothering me, you stupid cat."

He is now in a bed and it is night he hears the cat but he does not see it. He cannot move, the cat jumps on the bed and starts to climb on his legs. He tries to shake it off but he cannot move his legs.

Inch by inch the cat is getting closer to his face. His heart starts to beat fast and he starts to panic. His mouth goes dry and he is unable to speak.

The cat turns around, goes back down, and lies between his legs. He knows that he is stronger. However, the cat is the one who has the power, not him.

The cat can do anything it wants and he is unable to fight back. The cat starts to purr, then it hisses, then it bites him.

He wakes up.

He gets up quickly from his bed and starts to pace the room, his heart is palpitating and he is sweating and shaking.

_A panic attack_.

He goes into the bathroom and wipes his face with a wet cloth. Lights up a cigarette and begins to calm down.

He lies back down on the bed; the dream keeps going through his head.

_Oh shit look at the time, I have to get some sleep._

He tosses and turns for about an hour.

_I need something to turn off my brain_.

He goes into the kitchen, opens a cabinet and takes out a bottle of whiskey.

He opens the bottle and walks into the living room. He sits down on the couch; it is 1:45 am.

He clicks on the TV and starts to drink, the rerun comedies on TV and the whiskey final put him to sleep. He sleeps the night on his couch.

**Sunday Night**

This will be the third night that he will sleep on the couch, he is not able to sleep in his bed, and he needs the TV on and whiskey every night to fall asleep.

He falls asleep around 2AM, his alarm clock goes off at 7 AM, but unfortunately, it's in the bedroom.

**Monday Morning**

He wakes up at 9:30 to a ringing phone, not realizing what time it is."Who the hell is calling at this hour?"

"Hello."

"Bobby, its Alex, are you alright, it's 9:30?"

"Yeah, I guess I over slept."

"We're due in court at 11."

"Court for what?"

"The Hendry trial starts today."

"The Hendry trial?"

"Let me guess you forgot. Remember William Hendry, the slime ball who hired someone to kidnapped his wife."

"Oh yeah, why didn't you have remind me on Friday."

"I'll bring our notes to court, and I'll meet you there."

"Alright, see you in about an hour.

He clicks off the phone, "Oh Shit."

**The Courthouse**

Alex arrives at the courthouse at 10:45. She expected Bobby to be there but he is not.

She sits down on the bench outside the courtroom and notices Ron Carver exiting the elevator.

"Morning Detective."

"Mr. Carver, good morning."

"Where's your partner?"

"He's running a little late this morning, he should be here any minute."

He just nods his head, and then he sits down next to her, "How is he doing?"

"He's alright."

The elevator door opens and Bobby walks out into the hallway.They both look up.

"Eames, Mr. Carver, morning."

Carver stands up, "Morning Detective." He looks at his watch. "I have to go in now, I'll see you two later."

Alex smiles as she watches him enter the courtroom.

Not looking at Bobby she says, "You look like shit."

"Thank it's nice to see you too."

"Jesus were you up all night?"

"No." He pauses, "Just, oh forget it, let me look at those notes."

She gives him the folder and he reads the files. He slowly starts to remember the case in more detail. "Christ I hope we don't have to spend the whole goddamn day here."

"Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if we spent the day here, considering how you're feeling."

He doesn't answer, he continues to read. Unfortunately, they have to spend the next four hours waiting.

"An entire day wasted, I'm going back to the station, you coming?"

"No, I think I'll just go home, see you tomorrow, Eames."

She stands very still as he walks down the hallway to the elevator.

"Bobby."

"Yeah." He answers her but he keeps walking.

She hesitates as he turns to face her.

"What?"

"Nothing really, have a good night and try to get some sleep."

"Yeah I'll try."

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three **

**Monday Night**

Bobby sits on the couch trying to fight the temptation of going into the kitchen and taking out that bottle of whiskey. He loses the fight, fourth night of reruns and whiskey.

He does however remember to get the alarm clock. A few hours pass and he falls asleep.

The alarm clock goes off at 7 AM. He switches it off and slowly gets up. Goes into the bathroom and takes his shower.

**Tuesday Morning**

He arrives at the station before Alex He picks up the files from the Yardley case and goes into one of the side rooms.He spreads the information out on the table. The Yardley case is going into its second week, they are running out of suspects.

Alex walks into the squad room and sees her partner. "Now that's better, that's how it should be, you here before me, and Margie's coffee on the table."

She picks up the cup, "Thanks," She takes a sip.

"That tastes good." She takes another sip, "What are you looking at?"

"I was thinking we should look deeper into Michelle's activities the past few months."

"That's a good idea, I think we should to talk to her parents again."

"Yeah, separately this time."

"We should go back to the school and talk to her friends."

"You're right, but I need another cup of coffee. I'll be right back."

He returns within minutes.

"You look better this morning, looks like you got a good night's sleep."

"As a matter of fact I did."

ADA Ron Carver enters the squad room and notices them.

"Here comes Mr. Sunshine."

Bobby laughs.

He enters the room, "Morning,"

They answer at the same time "Morning."

"So anything new on the Yardley case."

Bobby takes a sip of coffee leaving Alex to speak. "We're thinking of looking closer at the girls activities and her friends."

"Keep me informed," Looking at Bobby, "Are you ready for tomorrow Detective?"

"What's tomorrow?"

Alex is even surprised he forgot.

"The grand jury hearing for Nicole Wallace is tomorrow."

He just nods his head.

"Knowing you, I'll bet you have everything arranged step by step in that head of yours."

Bobby turns his head away, "Yeah right."

Carver turns to leave, "Tomorrow 10 Am."

"Sure.

Carver didn't notice the color drain from Bobby's face but Alex did. He gets up quickly from his chair and goes to the men's room, his heart is palpitating and he starts to sweat, he feels nausea.

_A panic attack, again_.

He goes into a stall, stretches his arms, places his hands on the sides of the stall, and bends down his head. He takes deep breaths and his heart starts to slow down. The feeling of nausea is fading.

He exits the stall and slams it shut, "FUCK," the echo is almost deafening. Alex doesn't say anything when he comes back.

_If he wants to talk, he will talk_.

She looks over at him. _He's doing it again, zoning out. _

"Bobby," No answer.

A little louder, "Bobby."

"Yeah."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No." Shaking his head, "I just don't want to do this."

She hears a sound of insecurity in his voice.

"Bobby, look at it this way, it's one step closer to putting her away for a long time, maybe forever, come on once you get up there, you'll be fine."

"You know, you're right."

"Was there any doubt?"

He smiles at her and she pats him on the arm.

"Let's get these files in order than we can go to the school."

They spend the day speaking with teachers and students at Michelle Yardley's school. She was an average student, didn't make trouble, just one student of many.

She had a small group of friends and only one of them went to Richards's party. They need to talk to her again, at her home.

Their next stop of the day is to speak with Michelle's father. They drive to Mr. George Yardley's accounting office.

Alex shakes his hand "Mr. Yardley, thank you for seeing us. We just have a few questions."

"Of course, please sit down."

"Did you notice if your daughter had been acting any differently lately?"

"No, she was always a quite girl, but she did tend to follow the crowd."

"Can you remember anything that may have happened in the weeks prior to suggest that she was hanging out with any new friends?"

"No, I only saw Lacy and sometimes her friend Kelly at the house."

Bobby's speaks for the first time, "This wasn't the first time your daughter had stayed out all night, was it? Where the hell were you that you didn't know where she was?"

If Alex's eyes were lasers, Bobby would be dead. Mr. Yardley is taken aback buy the question, he just shakes his head and stuttering he says, "We, we were home."

_You son of a bitch_

Alex looks over at Bobby when she starts to speak, "Do you think her friend Lacy talked her into going to the party?"

"Michelle and Lacy have been friends since the third grade. Lacy is a little more outgoing, so yes, probably."

"Thank you Mr. Yardley and again we are very sorry."

They stand up at the same time and leave the office. Alex pushes the button on the elevator then looks at her partner.

"What the hell is the matter with you, you say one thing through the interview and you lay the blame of his daughter's death at his feet."

"Well like I said maybe if they knew what the hell and where the hell their fourteen year old daughter was, this wouldn't have happened."

She just shakes her head in disbelief. "Did you replace your heart with a metal plate when I wasn't looking?"

"No I'm just being honest, like you didn't think the same thing?

"Oh Jesus Bobby, forget it. It's almost three, by the time we get to Brooklyn. Lacy should be home from school. Do you want to speak with her or Mrs. Yardley?"

"I don't care, whatever you want."

"I hope your attitude improves by the time we get there and let me do the talking"

Before he has time to answer her, she puts up her hand, "Don't argue with me, Goren I'm not in the mood."

They do not speak during the drive to the Yardley home.

They ring the bell and Mrs. Yardley is not there.

It is after three o'clock and they decide to visit Lacy, Michelle's best friend.

Lacy doesn't have anything new to tell them but she did admit that it was her idea to go the party. Lacy said that she knew a boy named Tony Miller was going to be there and she wanted to impress him, so her best friend agreed to go.

Bobby stays very quite when they speak with the girl.

If Michelle was using drugs or drinking, Lacy did not admit to that.

Alex tries her best to let the girl know that it wasn't her fault, and she shouldn't blame herself, but they all know the guilt the teenager is feeling.

They leave Lacy's house around 4:45 and head back to the station.

They decide to visit Mrs. Yardley tomorrow after the grand jury hearing.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**Wednesday**

**9:45 AM Court House**

ADA Ron Carver exits the elevator expecting to see Detectives Goren and Eames waiting outside the courtroom. He paces the floor for two to three minutes and the elevator door opens.

Bobby walks out into the hallway, away from Carver's direction, Alex is behind him looking very upset.

Carver walks over to Alex, "Is there a problem?"

"Maybe you should ask him," pointing at Bobby.

Carver walks up to Bobby. As soon as he gets close, he realizes what is upsetting Alex.

"Have you been drinking Detective?"

"A little."

"A little," trying not to raise his voice, "What is the matter with you, I have know you for over five years now and though you may do some outrageous things, never have I known you to do something this stupid, shit!"

He turns his back on Bobby, puts his hands on his hips and turns back around. In a whisper he says, "I'm going to forget this ever happened, because I want this bitch in prison as much as you do." Making sure, he has eye contact. "Are you going to be able to do this?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

Bobby nods his head.

"Alright listen to me, don't look at her, just look at me and just answer my questions, don't embellish. Do you understand?"

"Yeah."

Carver turns away, and as he passes Alex, he whispers to her, "You better keep you eye on him."

Alex walks over to her partner, "Don't you ever put me through anything like that again."

"I'm sorry."

The bailiff calls him into the courtroom an hour later. Looking confident, on the outside, but inside his stomach is turning.

He takes the stand and Carver begins his questioning. Bobby never takes his eyes off Carver, focusing on him alone. He is able to make it through the questioning. He never looks at her but he can feel her eyes on him, Nicole smiles throughout the entire testimony, looking sweet and innocent.

While Bobby is testifying, Captain Deakins arrives at the courthouse.

"Alex."

"Captain."

"How long has he been in there?"

"About five minutes."

Deakins sits down next to her.

"Are things getting back to the way they' re supposed to be?"

"Kind of, he has a little trouble concentrating, his mind wanders, and I don't think it has anything to do with the case we're on."

"If he's not carrying his weight Alex, I want to know."

'No, it's not like that, I haven't lost any confidence in him."

_If I do, he'll fall apart_.

"It's just taking him a little longer to put things together, he's not as sharp as he usually is, he dreaded doing this today. Maybe now that it's over he can get back on track."

Bobby walks out of the courtroom and without looking at anyone he sits down on a bench. He speaks aloud to no one.

"She's going to fool them, she'll fool them all. They didn't see what I saw."

His feels lightheaded and dizzy and he starts to shake. He gets up quickly and heads for the men's room.

Panic attack.

He goes into a stall and sits down. He puts his head down and tries to breath evenly. He slowly starts to feel better. Bobby exits the stall and splashes water on his face.

He walks back into the hallway and sits down on a bench outside the courtroom. He does not look or speak to anyone.

Logan and Barek have shown up while he was in the bathroom. They both look over at him and then at Alex.

Carolyn sits down. "Is he ok."

Alex nods her head. "I think so."

_I hope so_.

They all keep their distance from him. They leave him alone he acts as if they are not even there.

Within the next hour Eames, Logan and Barek will testify.

An hour later, the grand jury has made their decision and Mister Carver returns to the courtroom. As he walks out of the courtroom, he is smiling.

"The grand jury has decided to indict Nicole Wallace for kidnapping."

They all look over at Bobby and are surprised. They all expected more of a response from him. However, he stays quite.

Carver walks over to him and Bobby stands up, "Good job detective."

Lowering his voice, "But if you ever do anything like that again, I won't be so nice."

Carver turns and leaves, wishes the others a good day and gets on the elevator.

"Bobby, I'm going back to the station, I have a shit load of paperwork to do, why don't you go home and get some rest, you don't look well."

I'm alright besides I thought you wanted to talk to Mrs. Yardley today."

"We can do that tomorrow."

"Sure, whatever."

Deakins to Bobby, "That's a good idea, go on, go home."

**One Police Plaza**

Captain Deakins arrives at the station before Alex. He goes into his office and takes a phone call. Ten minutes pass before she walks into the squad room. He walks over to her and touches her arm.

"Alex I want to talk to you."

"Sure, what about?"

"No, not here, in my office."

She nods and follows him. "Ok."

"Please sit down."

"What's up?"

"Goren, I didn't like what I saw before at the courthouse."

"He was just nervous."

"Nervous, Bobby Goren nervous."

"There's a first for everything."

He gets up from behind his desk and pours himself a cup of coffee."Alex would you like cup of coffee?"

"Yes, thank you." He hands her the cup and sits down on the front of his desk.

"Years ago my wife was mugged. She seemed to be handling it well but then she started having these attacks. Anxiety or panic attacks, whatever you want to call them. Bobby had all the signs of having one. Has he had one of these attacks before? Be honest with me Alex."

"No, not that I know of."

He leans forward and catches her eye. "Alright, I trust you and I trust your judgment, now get back to work."

She sighs as she leaves the office.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Bobby and Alex drive to the Yardley home to speak to Virginia Yardley.

"Good morning Mrs. Yardley."

"Good morning Detectives, please come in."

They walk into a home, which appears very clean, but in disarray.

"Please sit down. Can I get you something to drink?"

"No thank you."

_Yeah a whiskey straight up would be good._

A smile crosses his face. "No thanks."

They sit down on opposite ends of a couch. Mrs. Yardley sits across from them.

"Have you arrested that Lowell boy?" Alex looks over at her partner.

_He's zoning out again_.

"No. We're looking in another direction."

"How do you mean?"

"That she may have been drinking with one particular person that night. Someone she may have known and had been hanging around with weeks maybe months before."

"You mean that person could have done this to my daughter? Is that what you are saying?

"Yes. She may have been out drinking with this person before."

"What?"

Bobby blurts out. "Her drinking buddy."

A look of surprise crosses her face. Alex just shakes her head.

She continues. "Can you think of a time that you may have suspected that Michelle had been drinking?"

Bobby interrupts, "And don't give us that line, my daughter wouldn't do that sort of thing crap, we need to know the truth."

Alex is firing up her lasers again, this time Bobby sees her and looks away.

"Did you notice any strange kids hanging around the house or phone calls from kids you didn't know?"

"No." She shakes her head.

"Michelle enjoyed high school, she went everyday, we never had a problem with her breaking curfew, she was always in the house by 10 o'clock."

Tears start to fill her eyes and she puts her head down.

"You feel as if you've done everything you can to protect them and something like this happens."

"We know that you and your husband did everything you could to protect your daughter,

_If you say anything-inappropriate Bobby, I swear I'll shoot you._

"Unfortunately she met up with someone that night who was only interested in his own needs."

He pauses not looking at either woman.

"That's it. Damnit. That little son of a bitch, he fooled me."

Mrs. Yardley to Alex. "Is he alright?"

Alex sits back in the chair and smiles.

"Yes, he's fine."

As she listens, she thinks to herself.

_Now that's better_.

As he speaks, he catches the eye of both women."He didn't have those parties to be popular. He's all about power and control, he gave them what they wanted and he got what he wanted."

In a whisper, "That little shit."

He walks over to Misses Yardley and holds her hand. "Mrs. Yardley my partner and I are going to do everything we can to make sure that Richard pays for this crime."

He shakes her hand.

"Thank you detective, thank you both."

They leave the house and as he walks down the steps, he touches Alex's elbow.

She turns around. What?"

"He's done this before, but something happened that night and he couldn't finish what he started my guess is he'll do it again."

"Well, we better get him before he does."

Bobby gets in the SUV and slams the door. "Fuck!"

"What, what's the matter?"

"I have to explain it to you, what if he's already done it again."

"We haven't heard anything."

"If I would have figured this out last week that little fuck would be in jail now."

"Ok you made a mistake. I was in that room with you. That little mother fooled me too."

They hardly speak on the drive back to the station.

Bobby stops off at the men's room and Alex goes right to her desk. She watches as he passes her and goes into the room with the piles and piles of papers pertaining to the Yardley case.She gets up from her chair and joins him in the room.

"What are you doing in here?"

"I am reading over some things."

"Like what?"

"Nothing in particular."

She sits down across from him and she picks up some papers and starts flipping through them. "Talk to me maybe I can help you sort it out."

"There's nothing to sort out."

"Stop ignoring me Bobby."

"Jesus Christ Eames. I'm not ignoring you I'm just reading over my notes, alright."

"We're supposed to work together, remember."

"We're working this case."

"No we're not." She says shaking her head. "You' re doing your part and I'm doing mine, but we're not doing it together."

He looks up at her for the first time. Sarcastically he says. "Are you going to write another letter?"

"Don't tempt me Goren."

He tosses the papers across the table and half of them fall on the floor. He gets up from the chair and as he reaches for the doorknob, he turns to her. "You're free to do whatever you want, I don't care. It doesn't matter to me."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Hell yeah."

She just stares him down and he looks away from her as he scratches the back of his head. He walks back onto the room.

"Shit. I don't know." He pauses. "No."

He sits down in the chair and points to the pile of papers on the table. "I must have read the same paragraph five times and I still don't know what the hell I read."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Not that little girl. I'll tell you that."

Captain Deakins walks in and he startles Bobby. "When did you two get back?"

Alex answers him. "About twenty minutes ago. What's up?"

"I just got a call from Cragen at SVU. It seems that a Mr. and Mrs. Keller went away for the week. They left their sixteen-year-old son home alone and he had a party. A young girl was sexually assaulted and left for dead."

"Why would Cragen tell you that?"

"Because Richard Lowell was there. Same neighborhood, same group of kids, same unreliable witnesses."

Alex holds her face in her hands. "Oh my God."

Bobby shakes his head. "Goddamnit."

_I need a cigarette and a drink_.

"Do you have something for me?"

"Yes. Bobby and I are convinced that Richard murdered Michelle after he tried to have sex with her. It seems as if he's struck again."

"Why did he leave this one alive."

Bobby stands up and looks at the Captain, "Because he finished what he started."

They just watch him as he leaves the room. Under his breathe, "Son of a bitch."

Alex gets up suddenly and follows him. She catches up to him and grabs him by the arm. He just stops. He doesn't turn to look at her.

"Bobby it's not your fault."

"Yeah." He nods his head. "I know, I know that, Alex."

He continues to walk slowly through the squad room toward the elevator.

"Bobby."

He doesn't answer her.

"Bobby, where are you going?"

"I don't know, I'll see you tomorrow."

Alex walks back to her desk. "Damn this day just keeps getting worse."

She sighs as she sits down at her desk.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Her mind is not on her work. She stays at her desk for the next few hours. Maybe they missed something, something that will tie Richard to this crime.

If someone were to look over at her, it would seem like she was very busy. However, all she can think about is the look on his face when he left the room, as if someone had squashed his confidence in his ability to do his job.

She has never seen him look so discouraged.

She looks at the clock it is almost 5:30, she decides to leave but she does not go home she needs to be with family, she visits her parents.

As she drives to their neighborhood, her mind jumps from Bobby to Richard to Michelle and that young girl.

_Young girl sexually assaulted left for dead. Same neighborhood, same group of kids_.

_You think they would have learned a lesson_.

Her father answers the door."Hey Dad."

"Hey yourself. Come on in."

"You look upset, what's the matter?"

"Same ole, thing, work. Besides, I have been so busy I haven't seen you guys in a couple of weeks so I'd thought I'd drop by. Where's Mom?"

"In the kitchen, we just sat down to dinner."

Alex follows her father into the kitchen, "Hi, honey."

She kisses her Mom, "Hi Mom, how are you feeling."

"Good sweetheart I'm feeling good."

Her father pulls a chair out for her. "Come on sit down,"

"Alex would you like something to eat?"

"No thanks." Alex gets up from her chair. "Any beer in the frig?"

She opens the door and to her relief there is beer. She grabs a beer and looking back at her father. "Dad you want one?"

"No thanks, not now."

She opens the beer and sits back down. She has always enjoyed sitting in the kitchen. It always has a warm and cozy feeling. Years ago the wonderful smell of holiday dinners and baking would feel the house.

Before her stroke, her Mom was an awesome cook. The weakness in her left arm has caused limitations in her movement and she is not able to prepare the same kind of dishes she did when Alex was a kid.

She looks at her parents and sees them differently. They can sit there, content, not speaking to each other. They fit together perfectly.

_I want that, I deserve that_.

"Alex, you're awfully quite, you ok?"

"I'm alright, I was just thinking."

"About what."

"The two of you. Dad can I take your last beer?"

"Sure, go ahead."

She opens the beer and starts to pick at some of the food on the table.

"How is Bobby doing?"

"He 's alright Mom."

"If he's alright than why are you so upset?"

"What makes you think I'm upset?"

"Because I'm your mother, I know you."

Alex looks to both her Mom and Dad. Tears start to fill her eyes. "Everything is going wrong lately."

Alex is vague about Bobby's behavior the past few days. She only tells them that he is having a little trouble getting back to his normal routine. She does tell them about the recent events concerning the Yardley girl and their suspect Richard. She does admit to them that she feels a little guilty. Her Dad understands that and he does his best to make her feel better. Unfortunately, what is upsetting her most is Bobby and how it affected him.

She does enjoy a meal and lingers for coffee and blueberry pie. Having someone to talk with always helps and Alex starts to feel better.

**One Police Plaza**

Bobby makes his way to the garage, he gets in his car and lights a cigarette. He sits there for a while. He has no idea as to where he should go. He decides to take a walk. He takes off his jacket and tie and places his gun and badge in the glove compartment.

Unpleasant memories of the past week are filling his mind as he walks aimlessly through the streets of the city.

He passes a restaurant and the aroma of peppers and onion fills the air, it brings him to the present.

He hails a cab. He takes the cab to Brooklyn leaving his car in the city. He has no desire to drive.

As the cabbie drives into his neighborhood, he suddenly tells the driver to pull over. He pays him and exits the cab.

He looks up at the sign over the door "MURPHY"S.

_I forgot this place was still here._

The bar has been in the neighborhood for close to forty years. It is sandwiched between two apartment buildings and if you didn't know it was here, you would drive right by.

He enters the bar.

Many memories about this place come back, some good, most forgotten. It looks the same. Hell, it even smells the same. Bobby spent a lot of time in this place during his late teens.

They do not obey the "No Smoking" law in this bar. He sits at the bar and lights a cigarette. He orders a bottle of whiskey, no sense in making the bartender pour him a shot every two minutes.

He is not surprised but a woman looking to be around his age starts making her way over to him. He holds up the bottle and she nods, he gestures to the bartender for a glass.

He pours her a drink.

"Thank you."

"Sure."

"You've never been in here but I've seen you around the neighborhood."

He takes a better look at her. He has always had an eye for remembering faces, even twenty-five years later. "Stacy, Stacy Kelly, you dated a friend of mine. It was our senior year of high school, Dave Fanelli."

"Yes that's right, but I'm Stacy Grayson now. I married Bruce. We divorced over ten years ago." She looks closer at him. She looks in his eyes. "I know you, you're Bobby Goren, oh my god, what the fuck are you doing in here?"

He shrugs his shoulders and finishes his drink.

"Did you and Cathy have a fight?"

_Does she know that it's the year 2006? _

"Yeah, about twenty five years ago."

He fills up his glass again and lights another cigarette.

"Come on you and Cathleen never got married? I don't believe it."

"No we didn't. How in the hell could you remember that?"

"You two were always together, everybody always thought you guys would get married."

"Yeah well, things didn't quite work out the way we planned. Oh hell."

He finishes off the whiskey in his glass, pours another one for himself and one for her.

"So Bobby you gonna tell me what you're doing here? I mean your shirt cost more than my whole outfit."

He smiles. "I've just had a really bad day to go along with the week from hell, come to think of it, the week isn't over yet, is it? This stool is not very comfortable. Let's sit at a table."

"Ok."

"So what are you doing here?"

"Just a place to go, to spend an evening, I hate being alone in my apartment."

"Have you ever left the neighborhood?"

"No. Bruce and I bought a little house when we got married and I sold it after the divorce."

"When did you just move back?"

"About six years ago."

"What do you do?"

"What?"

"Your job, what do you do for a living?"

He drinks down the whiskey and starts to cough.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

He never answers her question. He just moves closer to her and kisses her long and hard. She responds to his kiss and she puts her arms around her neck.

He breaks the kiss. "I can't do this." He looks over her not at her.

She gets a disappointed look on her face.

_Why not?_

He pulls away from her. "This isn't right, I'm sorry."

_Jesus a guy who doesn't think with his dick? I don't believe it_.

"Don't look at me like that, believe me it's not you."

"I understand. Who is she?"

"She." He shakes his head. "No, there's no one."

_Sure_.

He stands up and takes her hand. "Thanks for the company. I'm sorry, Stacy." He picks up the whiskey bottle. "Would you like this?"

"No thanks Bobby, it was nice seeing you again, take care of yourself, I hope everything works out for you."

He walks over to the bar and asks the bartender for a bag. He puts the bottle in the bag and leaves him a tip. He leaves the bar and walks the three blocks to his house.

_She, I can't believe she said that._

_Is it that obvious? _

_How could she possibly know?_

_Was she right?_

_Was that the reason?_

_All I know is that I can't get her out of my head._

_Unfortunately, I know how she thinks of me._

He remembers something Alex had said to a suspect's wife some time ago. In comparing the two men, maybe what she said was true but he didn't like her saying it.

"**_He's like my partner, he just wants to be left alone to do what he does best, catching bad guys."_**

_Now I can't even do that_.

He opens his front door. "It's always so quiet in here. I got to get a dog or something."

He changes into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Walks into the kitchen and suddenly remembers he hasn't eaten all day. He opens the refrigerator. "What the hell am I looking in here for, like food is going to magically appear."

He calls Rocco's Pizzeria.

The pizza is finished. The whiskey is gone and he is asleep.

He overdid it last night and his head and stomach are paying for it in the morning. He takes a shower hoping it will help. It helps a little.

He knows what will really help and since his judgment has been erratic lately, he has a shot of whiskey.

"**_Hair of the Dog_**"

"That's better."

He suddenly remembers that he has a flask in the basement. He finds it and fills it up. He puts it in his jacket pocket and makes his way to the garage.

"Where the hell's my car? Oh, shit. It's in the city."

He hails a cab and arrives at the station around ten AM.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

**Friday**

Alex arrives at the station a little after 8:30, no coffee and no Bobby. She looks around the room and doesn't see him. She keeps peeking over her computer for him to arrive. Almost two hours pass and she sees him enter the squad room.

"Morning."

"Morning, you look tired, are you ok."

"Yeah, I'm fine."

She gestures toward the clock.

"I know, I know."

Bobby is very quiet this morning. Alex does notice that every fifteen minutes or so he gets up and leaves his desk, she doesn't know why.

She looks up and he is off again.

_What the hell is he doing?_

"Morning Alex."

He startles her. "Hey Mike."

Mike picks up a few of Bobby's books that he has on his shelf next to his desk

"What are you looking for?"

"We have a suspect that's been diagnosed as Bipolar and I want to read up on it."

Alex goes back to her computer and doesn't notice when her partner comes back into the room. He walks over to his desk and speaks in a voice and manner not typical of Bobby Goren.

"What are you doing? That's a book."

"What?"

"A book."

Mike stands up with a puzzled look on his face.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Bobby picks up a book and almost shoving it in Mike's face. "Do you want me to explain all the big words to you?"

Alex looks up as Carolyn walks over to her.

Leaning down she whispers, "What's going on?"

Alex says in a disgusted voice and shakes her head, "Testosterone city."

"If that's your attempt at humor it's not funny."

"That's the point, it's not funny."

Alex blurts out, "Bobby, what are you doing?"

Without looking at her he says, "I'm not talking to you Eames."

Alex sighs and rolls her eyes. "Oh God."

"Maybe you should listen to what your partner has to say"

"Am I supposed to have a feeling of apprehension now, oh by the way that means fear."

Before Mike has a chance to respond to Bobby's comment, Deakins walks over to the two men. "What the hell is going on?"

Neither man answers or looks away. "Knock it off, both of you, Logan my office, now."

Deakins closes the door, he sits down, and says nothing.

Logan looks over at his C.O., who is not even looking in his direction. "He purposely tried to pick a fight with me."

"I know, I heard it."

"Then what the hell am I doing in here?"

"To let Goren think about it awhile

Bobby heads for the roof, Alex is close behind him.

He walks over to the ledge. He lights up a cigarette, looks out over the city, and shakes his head. He reaches into his jacket pocket and takes out the small flask. Opens it and takes a sip.

"Hey, don't jump."

"Funny."

"You want to talk about it?"

He takes another sip of the contents in the flask.

"No."

His no's usually mean yes, but this time he really means no.

She notices the flask in his hand. "What have you got in there?"

"Just a little liquid refreshment."

She walks closer to him.

"Bobby it is your goal to lose your job today?"

He turns to face her, and almost laughing. "Yeah I've been so efficient at it lately."

"Bobby."

He turns away from her and looks out over the city.

"Alex, please just leave me alone."

Alex feels helpless, "Ok, I'll see you later."

"Yeah."

Mike walks out of Deakins office and sits at his desk. Carolyn walks over to him.

"What the hell?"

"He wanted me to take a swing at him."

"Jesus, why?"

"I have no clue."

"Did you say something to him?"

"Why do you assume it was me?"

"Well you do have a reputation for saying inappropriate things to people."

"No, I didn't say anything, it was him, I just happen to be standing there."

After about fifteen minutes on the roof, Bobby walks back into the squad room. He walks over to where Mike is sitting.

He extends his hand. "Sorry." Mike shakes his hand and Bobby turns and walks away.

He walks into one of the side offices where files are on the table concerning the Yardley case, Alex sees him go in and she follows him.

"Where is it?"

She crosses her arms waiting, patiently. He can sense her stare and he looks up at her.

"What."

"You know damn well what."

"I hid it on the roof."

"I don't believe you."

He chuckles and shrugs his shoulders, "Do you want to search me?"

"Give it to me."

He hesitates. He looks around the room to see if anyone is watching, he reaches into his pocket and hands her the flask.

"Thank you."

She walks quickly out of the room.

"Hey what are you going to do with it? Don't dump it out, oh man."

Alex enters the ladies room. She opens the flask and hesitates. Standing in front of the sink, she catches her reflection in the mirror.

"I should take this and show the Captain. After all he did make him my responsibility."

"_I trust you and I trust your judgment_."

"Damn this isn't fair."

"What good would that do, it won't solve the problem. He will just end up with more problems. The Captain could suspend him and the way he is feeling about himself. I might as well just put a gun to his head."

She holds the flask over the sink.

"He thinks he can do everything on his own. God want a stubborn man, to proud to ask for help."

"Crazy, he's making me crazy. I mean I'm in the bathroom talking to myself."

She looks at the flask in her hand.

"He's done this once. Will he do it again? I don't think so, but what if he does?"

"Cut him loose is what I should do."

She turns to leave the room with the flask in her hand. She stops suddenly.

"No, I can't. I can't cut him loose. I can't do that to him he means to much too to me, alright you said it."

"Dump it, I'm going to dump it."

She empties the contents of the flask down the drain and tosses the container in the trash.

She returns to the room and sits down next to him.

"What did you do with it?"

"I poured it down the drain would you rather I have given it to the Captain. I could have you know, Jesus that was a stupid thing to do.'

She waits for him to respond, he does not.

"What no comment."

"What do you want me to say, thank you?" He sits back in the chair. "Thank you, I really didn't intend to get you in the middle of this, I'm sorry. It's just that I have such a hangover and it helps."

"Your judgment has been for shit lately."

_Not about everything_.

"Alright I don't want to talk about it anymore. Lets drop it, but don't ever do that again"

He does not answer he just nods in agreement.

They both start looking through the piles of evidence. Bobby slams the papers down on the desk. Some fall to the floor.

"There is absolutely no physical evidence to tie Richard to this murder, we'll have to get him to admit it."

"How?"

"I have no idea."

They stay silent for a while thinking.

"Anything?"

No answer.

"Bobby, anything?

She startles him "What?"

"Have you thought of anything?"

"No."

Ever since she came back into the room Alex has been dying to find out what the scene with Mike was all about, the cop in her makes her curious about everything and she needs to know the answer.

"Talk to me."

"About what?"

"You and Mike, you must have had a reason for talking to him like that."

"You see, that's it, I was talking to him, not you, and it's none of your business."

"You know Bobby it would be nice if we could actually finish a conversation without me wanting to tell you to go to hell."

"Don't be so dramatic, Jesus Christ."

"You're unbelievable I can't even talk to you anymore, you know, I don't need this shit."

She gets up from the chair and quickly leaves the room slamming the door behind her.

He calls to her "Alex, Alex. Shit."

Everyone hears her slam the door. Deakins exits his office.

Bobby is sitting at the table and he doe not notice the Captain enter the room.

"Is this going to be an every day event with you, or should I just let this pass, because you're having a bad day? Not to mention the fact that you have a hangover."

"I've had better days."

"Christ, Goren, within an hour you've managed to piss off, I don't know how many people?"

"It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't, understand."

"Yeah I understand."

Deakins turn and leaves.

Bobby gets up from the chair and exits the squad room, where he's going he's not sure. He does not return to the station that day, neither does Alex.

Since both of them missed half a day's work, they go into the station on Saturday morning, not thinking that the other one would show up.

She sees him and wants to walk back out but she continues.

"Morning."

He looks up at her, "Morning."

For the next hour, that is the extent of their conversation.

Alex breaks the silence.

"Bobby?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Jesus Christ, you stubborn son of a bitch, you know damn well what."

"I thought we had this conversation yesterday."

"You're unbelievable, you call what we had yesterday a conversation."

"Yes, we talked and I told you to mind your own business, and you told me to go to hell, that sounds like a conversation to me."

"Frustrating," She raises her voice, "You are the most frustrating man I have ever met. Do you think you could just talk to me, one human being to another?"

"What do you call what we're doing, it sounds like we're talking."

She rises quickly from her chair, "Damn it Bobby, why is it every fucking time I try to talk to you lately, you try your best to get into an argument with me?"

He gets up from his chair and faces her, looking very serious, "You wanted to talk to me, I'm talking, what the hell more do you want."

She pounds the table with her fist and looks up at him.

"Go fuck yourself!"

"I rather you do it."

"You bastard!" She screams as she slaps him across the face. Tears start to fill her eyes, she runs from the room.

He takes two steps and in a loud voice, he calls to her, "Alex, I'm sorry."

She thinks about turning back but decides against it.

_Let him wallow in it._

He pushes the chair roughly under the table and it falls down, "Fuck!" He sits down and rubs his eyes and face.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Alex runs out of the station and gets in her car. She hits the steering wheel a few times and curses his name. She puts the key in the ignition and starts the car. She backs up, puts the car in drive and hits the gas. The tires squeal through the garage.

Laurie Daly has just put her son, Matthew, down for his afternoon nap, her husband has gone out to do some errands. She sits on the couch and clicks on the TV, puts her feet up and closes her eyes.

_Quiet._

The doorbell rings.

_It's Alex. In the middle of the afternoon._

"Are you busy?"

"No, come on in, it's always good to see you."

Laurie looks at her sister's face and jokingly says, "What did he do now_?"_

"It's not funny."

"I'm sorry."

"No, there's no reason for you to apologize."

Alex passes her sister and walks straight through to the living room.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Do you have any wine?"

"Yes I do red or white wine."

"White."

Alex looks at the clock and knows that her nephew is napping. "Can I peek on Matthew?"

"Of course."

As she looks down at the sleeping boy, she starts to cry as she touches his face ever so lightly. She wants to pick him up and hold him in her arms. She feels so lonely right now. Her sister comes into the room and puts her hand on her shoulder.

"Pick him up, you know he's a sound sleeper."

Matthew is almost 36 months old now and if he was awake she would be lucky to get a quick hug from him, he would squirm and wiggle to be let go.

She picks him up and kisses the top of his head, he smells of powder and lotion. She starts to cry again. She sits in the rocking chair in the room and holds him close to her heart. He feels so warm and he looks so beautiful. She closes her eyes and rocks with him in the chair. Laurie leaves the room.

A feeling of contentment rushes through her body. She wishes she could sit here forever. Alex sits with her nephew for almost half an hour. She kisses him on his forehead and places him back in his crib.

"I love you."

Laurie has since resumed her spot on the couch and Alex sits down next to her. She sees the wine on the table and picks it up.

"Thanks."

She takes a sip of wine and sits back on the couch.

"Well, are you going to tell me what happened? What did he do?"

Alex takes another sip of wine.

"Oh God, You know that old saying, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong."

Laurie nods her head.

"Well that's the way things have been going for us lately."

"Us?"

"Yeah us, why do you say it like that."

"No reason."

"But Thursday is when everything fell apart. Jesus, we are sure that this 18-year-oldkid committed this horrible crime and why he did it. As we are leaving the murdered girl's house, Bobby says that this kid most likely has done this before but he definitely will do it again."

She pauses, "Bobby was right he did, Wednesday night."

"He killed another girl?"

"No he raped this one, he murdered the other girl because he couldn't finish what he started."

"Oh my God, that's horrible."

"But yesterday, how can I explain it. Bobby can knock you out with words and he said a mouthful to Mike Logan. The Captain does not step in and I see Mike taking a swing at him, hell I would have too. He didn't actually say the word but he called him ignorant."

"Why?"

Alex shrugs her shoulder. "You know it's my nature to never leave something hanging. I always have to know why someone does something. Part of me said forget about it but the other half won and I tried to get him to talk about."

"I asked him if he wanted to talk? He said talk about what"

"I know I should have let it go then but I couldn't help myself. That man is great at avoiding personal issues, he puts up a wall and he won't let you climb over. I pushed him to talk and as it has been for the past week we got into an argument and like always he avoids the issue and changes the subject and I just got so frustrated I told him to go fuck himself."

"Whoa, what did he say?"

"It's not exactly what he said it's more of how he said it, with contempt in his voice. I'd rather you do it."

"Wow, that's nasty. What did you say?"

"I called him a bastard and slapped him across the face."

"Did it make you feel any better?"

"No, he apologized and I thought about turning back, maybe I should have, I don't know."

Alex gets up from the couch, finds the bottle of wine in the kitchen, and refills her glass. Her sister follows her and gets a glass of wine for herself. Alex sits down at the kitchen table.

Laurie stands next to the sink. She takes a sip of wine and sets the glass down on the counter.

"When are you just going to admit it?"

"Admit what?"

"Oh come on Alex you and me we've been talking about guys for close to twenty years now."

"Yeah guys!"

"God you're more stubborn than Dad."

Alex stands up and shakes her head, "No!"

"Yes, because if this was just your quote unquote partner we were talking about you would have dumped his ass last week, right? Am I right?"

"Not necessarily, we have been partners almost six years now, I couldn't just dump him like that."

"Then why aren't you telling your Captain about this, instead of me?"

Alex leaves the kitchen and Laurie follows her into the living room.

"Alex? Will you please just say it?"

"If I do everything will change."

"Everything has already changed, they changed that Wednesday morning when you went to work and he wasn't there and you not only drove us crazy you made yourself crazy with worry that you would never see him again. You forgot the nights you cried in my arms"

Alex keeps her back turned and Laurie doesn't walk any closer.

"He kissed me."

"Where? When?"

"Last week, on the roof."

"On the roof, what roof?"

"The roof at the station, he goes up there to chill out, it's very quiet and peaceful. It was a mistake. We both knew it. It certainly wasn't the right thing to do. Not at that time."

Alex makes her way back to the kitchen to get her glass of wine. She picks up Laurie's glass and as she walks back into the living room. She hands it to her sister.

"I worked very hard to get where I am in my career and I don't want him screwing it up. However, our work performance has been for shit. It's only been a week or so but I don't know how more I can take."

"But I"………Laurie walks over to her sister and the two women embrace. Alex holds her sister tight.

"He won't let me help him. I can see how much he is hurting inside but he keeps pushing me away. I don't know what to do but I know I can't let him go it alone."

**At The Station**

Bobby stays behind for a while. His first thought is to call her.

_Say what, I'm sorry, how fucking lame is that?_

_Screw it._

He pushes his chair away from the desk and papers fall to the floor. He does not pick them up as he leaves the room. He places his weapon in the gun locker, grabs his jacket, takes the elevator down to the garage, and gets in his car. He lights a cigarette and drives out of the garage. His first thought is to go home but as he passes "Shorty's Pub." He decides he needs company instead. He is lucky enough to find a place to park on the street and he goes inside.

Amanda Holland is 36 years old. She is divorced and works in Advertising; she has been working on the most important account of her career. She has been working everyday and most nights on the layouts. Next Wednesday the client is coming in to look at her work. Mandy, as her friend's call her finally feels she has exactly what they want and she decides she needs to blow off some steam.

Her office building is only a block from "Shorty's Pub." She walks there leaving her car in the garage.

She walks into the Pub and there are only a few diners. There are three men at the bar. One looks like he slept here, one looks to be around 70, but one is dressed nicely, a little older but attractive. She sits down next to him.

Bobby notices a figure next to him, he looks at her and smiles and she smiles back

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Bobby turns his head and his face is in a pillow, he wakes from the strange smell. He begins to cough, the bed was not made for a 6'4" man and as he turns on his side, he falls out of the bed.

"Shit, what the hell!"

He lies on the floor for a minute. He eyes are blurry and as he looks at his surroundings, he hopes that he is still sleeping. He's not in his bedroom or anyone else's, he's in jail.

_I don't fucking believe this_.

He slowly sits up against the bed. He hears a door close and a 30 something police officer is at his cell door. His uniform is not NYPD.

_In jail with a hangover in another state terrific._

"Most people sleep in the bed."

"Yeah."

"You missed breakfast, want some lunch?"

He gets up and walks to the cell door as the officer slides the tray through the slot. Bobby gets a closer look at the badge. Linkwood, Maryland Police.

_Maryland. Linkwood, Maryland, damn that's where my Grandparents use to live._

_Well at least I'm on the east coast. _

Sheriff Jonathan Coles is in his office when two of his deputies return from their search of Bobby and Mandy's motel room. They hand him his ID and other personal effects including his shield. The Sheriff enters his name and badge number into the computer.

"A real screw up right?"

"No Bill, on the contrary he has a very impressive record, a number of accommodations. No disciplinary infractions."

He scrolls down reading to himself.

"You guys remember that New York City police detective who went missing a few months ago?"

They both answer. "Yes."

"It's him."

The sheriff sits back in his chair and chews on his pen. He looks around the room as if trying to solve a problem. He sits forward in the chair looking at his two deputies.

"You know I think I'll pay a visit to Ernie."

"What for?"

"I think I can get him to drop this thing, Harry, with a promise that they will pay for all the damages. Ernie's a good guy I think he'll agree to the terms."

"Why."

"Would you want something this asinine on your record Bill, I think he deserves our help, don't you? I mean it's not exactly the crime of the century we're talking about."

Bill nods in agreement.

Harry says, "What the hell, why not, why mess the guy's career for one stupid mistake."

The Sheriff returns an hour and a half later.

"Ike."

"Yes sir."

"Bring him up here."

Bobby has managed to eat a little and he is now lying on the bed. He hears the door close again and he sits up.

"The Sheriff wants to see you."

Bobby exits his cell and as he looks to his left he sees a wall, to his right is another cell, which is empty. He walks down a hallway about fifty feet and the deputy opens the door into the squad room. He notices four desks with computers.

_I am impressed_.

He is lead through the squad room to the sheriff's office.

He stands in the doorway as the sheriff is finishing a phone call. He hangs up the phone and motions for the deputy to leave.

Sheriff Coles stands up and extends his hand. Bobby shakes his hand as a feeling of suspicion grows inside.

"Please sit down. I sent two of my deputies to the your motel room to look through your things, they were surprised as I was to find out the that two of your weren't even staying at the Lincoln Motel."

"Two of us."

"Yes, your girlfriend."

Bobby scratches the back of his head as he tries to remember the other person who was with him last night.

_Amanda_.

"You were staying at the Evans Motel. Which is next door, you two turned into the wrong driveway."

If the Sheriff was waiting for an answer, he wasn't going to get one.

"The two of you started out at Lindsay's bar, both of you feeling no pain. You left there at 2am, walked up the street, and ended up at the wrong motel."

Still Bobby says nothing.

"I have a list." He holds up a piece of paper. "Of some items my deputies found in your motel room, do you want to read it?" He pauses. "Detective or should I tell you?"

_Shit, this guy is going to screw me over for sure. I guess I deserve it._

The list only included a few items but the one that stood out, was his shield.

"What exactly did we do, or I do?"

"Would you like to see some photos?"

"Sure I love photos."

Bobby sits back in the chair, flips through the photos, and shakes his head in disgust.

"I think the chair in the window looks good. Oh my God. Was anyone hurt?"

"No just the window."

"The damage you caused will cost about 300 dollars and if pay for the table, chairs and the window this will all disappear."

A questionable look crosses his face.

"Excuse me."

"I checked your record and I must say that I was very impressed, I knew I recognized the name. Some of your cases have made their way to our local news stations. I don't want to put this ridiculous event in your record, so I had a talk with the owner of the motel and we have agreed about an arrangement. Are you alright with that?"

"Sure."

"Pay for the damages and I hit the delete button."

"I really appreciate this Sheriff, thank you."

Both men stand at the same time.

"Before we take you and Amanda back to the motel I just want to say one thing. I don't want to sound like I'm lecturing you but what happened last night, you and I both know that there is something wrong. I'm sure you don't what something like this to happen again because the next time you might hurt someone, most likely yourself."

He extends his hand and Bobby shakes it and thanks him again.

Deputy Ike Olsen leads Bobby to where Amanda has been waiting. He opens the door and she turns and smiles at him.

"I am so sorry about all this."

"I appreciate that. I guess we were a little foolish last night, I mean one minute we're sitting in a bar and you start talking about when you were a kid and the great times you had when you spent time down here visiting your grandparents. The next thing I know I'm in my car driving down here."

"I was that persuasive."

She laughs. "Yeah I knew you were drunk but you were so damn cute. Anyway I have to say I had fun last night, except for the getting arrested part."

He apologizes again.

"God I haven't been dancing in years. I use to go a lot before I got married, to the most boring man God ever put on this earth. After he said I do he did nothing."

"His name wouldn't be Lawrence Bollar, would it?"

"No, why who is he?"

"Just someone a friend of mine told me about once."

"I guess we were both running away from something."

Bobby sits down next to here. "You could say that."

He sits in silence for a minute and then he asks.

"What the hell happened last night?"

**Last Night**

The bartender announces last call. Bobby and Mandy leave the bar. As they walk back to the motel, her curiosity has been building all night. They are both drunk now, Bobby a little bit more than she is.

"Who is she Bobby?"

"What?"

"The woman who makes you drink so much."

They keep walking and he stays silent.

"Come on, is she your girlfriend, or your wife, from my experience I would say your wife."

He does not answer but Amanda can't stop, she's a lot like Alex, she needs to know. She keeps pushing. They enter the driveway of the motel and walk back near the pool area.

"She cheated on you and you caught her, right?" Then she turned it all around and blamed it on you for neglecting her. Is that it? That's it, isn't' it?"

Mandy keeps walking not realizing that Bobby is not walking next to her. She looks to her side and then she looks back. She sees him sitting at a table looking lost and confused. She walks back to where he is sitting.

"Are you alright?"

No answer.

"Bobby, what's the matter?"

He looks up at her.

"You know I didn't realize it till now but you look like her."

_Oh, shit._

"But you're nothing like her, she's evil, she has no heart and I'm sure that the evil inside her has eaten up her soul."

His expression changes, his anger is building.

"She used me, she used me for what she wanted and the way things have been going for me I would have to say that she's succeeded."

"Son of a bitch!"

As he quickly rises from the chair, it tips over.

"Goddamn that woman!"

He grabs the table from underneath and turns it over, the table is made of glass and it shatters. He picks up the chair that fell over and throws it across the yard as he curses her name. It crashes through a window and an alarm sounds. The ringing of the alarm stops his rage. Two deputies respond and they are arrested, the charges are public drunkenness and vandalism.

"Shit. I hope you weren't anywhere near me?"

"No I wasn't but it happened so fast I couldn't have stopped you."

"I had a meeting with the sheriff and he told me that if I pay for the damage this will all disappear."

"Why would he do that?"

"Professional courtesy."

"Jesus Christ you're a cop, I don't believe it."

"Yeah, I've had finer moments, come on the deputy is going to drive us back to the motel."

As they walk out of the station Mandy offers to pay her share of the damages.

"No it was my fault I'll take care of it."

Before they get into the car, she grabs his arm and whispers in his ear. "Nothing happened."

They arrive at the motel and Bobby pays for the damages. Within minutes they arrive at the motel they had registered in last night. Neither of them has the energy to drive home today, they decide to stay the night and drive back tomorrow.

Bobby hands her the key to the room. "Here you take the room, I'll get another one."

"Ok, after that do you want to get something to eat?"

"That sounds like a good idea but first I have to make a phone call."

"I'm going to freshen up I'll meet you back here in about half an hour."

He calls Alex.

She does not recognize the phone number on her caller ID. If she had, she would have answered it anyway.

"Hello."

"Are you still mad at me?"

"I should hang up on you."

"Wouldn't blame you if you did. I'm really sorry, that was a nasty thing to say."

"I'm sorry too, but you can be a very frustrating man to talk to sometimes. I didn't recognize the number where are you calling from?"

Very softly, he says, "Maryland."

"What? Did you say Maryland?"

"Yes I did."

"My God what the hell is in Maryland?"

"Old memories."

"Old memories, what does that mean?"

"Not now I'll tell you another time, I just called to let you know that I probably won't see you tomorrow."

"Bobby, what the hell is going on?"

"Alex not now, please don't push it."

"Ok, call me tomorrow when you get back."

"I will. Bye."

The conversation at dinner is pleasant. Mandy is biting her tongue through the meal. She is so curious about who Nicole is, she wants to know everything but she keeps quiet.

_I wonder who he called_.

They finish their meal and say goodnight. They get back to the motel around 7 PM and they plan to leave very early the next morning.

Amanda and Bobby leave the motel in Maryland a little after 5AM, the drive to New York is uneventful and the traffic is light. They arrive in the New York area around 9:30. Amanda drives Bobby to his house, the situation is awkward and they don't look at each other, he wishes her a good life and gets out of the car.

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

I just want to say thanks to all of the encouraging and enthusiastic reviews I you have received for my first fic, it is truly appreciated.

This story still has a few more chapters to go.

(Remember Bobby still has to deal with Nicole)

Thanks again.

Read, enjoy and keep those reviews coming.

**Chapter Ten**

Bobby collects his mail and checks his phone messages.

Message one, his friend Andy.

In between is a hang up.

Message two, his friend Dave.

In between are two hang-ups.

Message three, Dr. Shimo, his Mom's doctor. He called this morning.

_That's all I need now, terrific, maybe I should spend a few days up there._

_Great, two screw-ups, mother and son, well it was bound to happen._

_No, no fucking way I'm not like her._

He listens to the message.

"Bobby its Dr. Shimo, your Mom's been a little upset lately. Since you have not called in over a week or visited in almost a month, she's becoming a little depressed and she does nothing but sit in her room all day. Please call me as soon as you can, I really need to speak with you about this."

"I don't have the energy to deal with her shit now! Goddamnit!"

He feels anger toward her that he hasn't felt since he was a kid, he grabs hold of the phone and rips it from the jack and throws it across the room.

"Son of a bitch!"

He walks into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of whiskey and takes a drink, as he holds the bottle to his mouth for the next sip he sees the clock. It's 10:30 in the morning.

"Fuck it, who cares." He takes a sip.

He clicks on the TV and lies down on the couch, the doorbell rings soon after.

It's Alex, "May I come in?"

He looks past her, "Sure." He walks back into the living room and sits down on the couch she follows him.

"You said you were going to call me this morning. I guess you forgot, so I thought I'd stop by."

He looks as if he has been up all night, he needs a shave and he has the same clothes on he had when she saw him on Saturday.

"When did you get in?"

"About an hour ago."

"Have you been drinking?"

Sarcastically he says, "Goddamn you're observant."

She shakes her head and sighs.

_I've been here for a minute and already he's trying to start a fight_.

He looks down at the bottle on the table, picks it up and takes a sip, "Want some?"

"No, I'll pass."

She looks at the clock, "Bobby will you look at the time, it's not even noon yet."

"Where is it written, that you can't have a drink before noon, if it makes you happy I won't drink anymore till after 12. Oh by the way I called Deakins this morning and told him I was taking a few days off, for some reason he thought it was a good idea, why do you think he said that?"

"The Captain told me you called him."

She walks closer to the couch. "Well I must say you're a hell of a lot more talkative then you've been the past few weeks, but this is the wrong time to talk to you, I'd rather talk to you when you're sober."

"I'm not drunk."

"That's what they all say."

In a nasty voice, which she has never heard before, "I said I wasn't drunk."

The chime on the clock rings, he picks up the bottle, "It's twelve o'clock."

She turns to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving, you're in no condition to talk."

"Whatever."

She turns back to face him and her voice gets louder and angrier, "Whatever, that's all you can say, my god Bobby just look at yourself!"

"I'd rather not."

"You're a mess."

As she heads for the door the phone rings and she stops to listen to his conversation.

He answers the kitchen phone, "What."

"_Bobby, it's Dr. Shimo."_

"Yeah, what, what's the matter?"

"_Did you get my message?"_

"Yeah I heard it."

"_Well her mood hasn't improved, she waits every day for you phone call which doesn't come. She just sits in her room looking out the window, no one can get her to leave her room and participate in the activities she likes."_

Alex has not left.

"Am I supposed to feel guilty about that, because I don't. I' m having some problems of my own now, maybe you could explain that to her."

The doctor has known him for over six years now. He knows his devotion to his Mom, considering most of the residents have no visitors at all.

"_I can make some time for you during the week, if you want to talk."_

He is a little surprised by the comment. "What?"

"_You sound as if you need someone to talk to, I'd be willing to listen."_

"Oh man, I don't know, it's ok."

"_If you have a chance to visit your Mom in the next couple of days please stop by and see me."_

"Yeah...sure...thanks...bye."

"_Hopefully I'll see you soon, goodbye."_

He walks back to the couch and sits down. He looks up and sees Alex walking towards the door.

"Alex."

"Yeah."

She stops but does not turn around to look at him.

"Please don't leave."

"Why, why should I stay?"

"I need your help."

She smiles but he cannot see her face. She turns quickly around and walks towards the couch.

"Ok, I'll stay, but first, let's get rid of this bottle, you've had enough to drink."

She picks up the bottle and holds it out to him.

"Dump it out."

"That's a 40 dollar bottle of whiskey."

"Yeah well next time by the cheap shit. Dump it."

He looks at her for a few seconds trying to assess if she is serious, she stares back at him with a determined look on her face, and she is serious. He takes the bottle from her, walks into the kitchen, and dumps the whiskey in the sink.

"Ok Bobby, why are you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?"

"I'm not feeling sorry for myself."

"If you're not going to be honest with me, I'm leaving, talk to me damn it!"

"Alright, alright let's just say I've had better weekends."

"You can do better than that"

He speaks but doesn't look at her, "I came home from a lost weekend and there's a message about my Mom. I just can't deal with her crap right now."

"Is that why the phone is in pieces on the floor?"

"Yeah it was annoying me, than I realized that there's one in the kitchen the bedroom and even a cell phone, do people really do that much talking that they need so many fucking phones."

She snickers and shakes her head in agreement

He hears her laugh and looks up at her.

"I know it was a stupid thing to do. Shit. I've been doing a lot of stupid things lately, haven't I?"

"You're not going to get an argument from me."

"Is your Mom alright?"

"She's fine, she's just been moping around because I haven't been to see her."

He sits back on the couch, "Like I don't have anything better to do, actually right now I don't have anything better to do, god my life sucks."

He lies down on the couch and covers his eyes with his arm.

"If I keep this shit up I won't even have a job."

"What, you can't believe that she just misses you?"

"I doubt that, all the fucking shit that's happened to me the last month and now I have to put up with this, I don't need this now, it's always something with her, do you have any idea what it's like?"

He sits up, "Oh wait, you wouldn't have any idea, coming from the all American family."

"You don't have to be nasty, Bobby."

"I'm not being nasty, it's the truth, and how in the hell could you possibly understand what I'm talking about."

"Do you want me to leave, is that what you want?"

He doesn't answer her, in a louder voice she says, "Is that what you want, because I have better things to do."

"Like what?" He says with a smile on his face.

She laughs as she sits down on the couch next to him, "You son of a bitch, shit, we are a pair, aren't we?"

They both laugh.

She takes his hand in hers.

"Was it so hard for you to say it?"

"It is when you're not use to asking for it. It is just that the way I grew up I learned to solve my own problems, but I couldn't do it this time and that really bothered me. But I must say that you are one stubborn woman, you know that?"

"So I've been told."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I'm sorry, I am so sorry for the things I've said and done. I didn't mean for you to get caught in the middle."

"I understand. But if you could have just swallowed that male ego of yours for a minute and admit to yourself that there are some things you just can not do alone."

"That bad huh?"

"Jesus. You know Bobby you can read all the books in the world about psychology but you of all people should know that sometimes you just need someone to talk to."

"You're right."

"Of course."

"What was the doctor saying to you?"

"He said that he would make some time to talk to me, if I wanted."

"That sounds like a good idea, I think you should take him up on it."

He nods his head in agreement.

"I was hoping that you would bring this up but since it doesn't look like you're going to, I guess I will."

He looks at her with a puzzled look. "What?"

"Maryland."

"Oh, what about it?"

"You talked to the Captain this morning, right?"

"Yeah."

"Did you tell him?"

"No he doesn't need to know, it won't happen again."

"And you can be sure of this, how?"

He sighs and looks away.

"Well."

Silence.

"Don't you think he has the right to know?"

"Everything's been cleared away, no paper trail, nothing, it's like it never happened."

"No paper trail? Paper trail for what?"

"Shit I didn't tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"That I," He stutters. "We, we got arrested."

She chuckles at his comment. "You're kidding me right? Just to see my reaction."

Almost in a whisper he says, "No, I'm not, it's the truth."

He has trouble looking her in the eye and she can see a look of embarrassment on his face.

"Jesus." He gets up and paces around the room. "The more I think about it, oh man this is so embarrassing. Even when I partied all night long when I was a kid I never got arrested."

"Who is she? What did you get arrested for and what the hell where you doing in Maryland?"

"Do you want me to answer them in that order or can I jump around?"

She smiles at him and wants to smack him at the same time.

I met a very sweet woman on Saturday night and we drove down to Maryland, Linkwood Maryland. My Grandparents use to live. My brother and I would spend two weeks down there every year during the summer. Anyway we got arrested Sunday morning for being drunk in public and vandalism."

"Vandalism?"

"Yeah I trashed some furniture at a motel and then I threw a chair through a window which made the alarm go off, which woke up everyone at the motel and then the police came and arrested us."

He pauses waiting to hear if she has anything to say, Alex is sitting there in total amazement.

"The sheriff was very cool he made an arrangement that if I pay for the damages then he would make it disappear."

"You are one lucky bastard, you know that."

"Yeah I know he could have put my nuts in a sling."

He elaborates on the story about Nicole being his inspiration for his anger; she doesn't find that hard to understand.

Alex feels that she has him in the right state of mind to ask him. She blurts it out.

"What did she do to you?"

He doesn't answer.

"Did she hurt you?"

Shaking his head, "No, not really, she just fucked with my head."

He has that defeatist sound in his voice again.

"Well you're pretty good at that."

Shaking his head, "No, not like that, not like her, I could ever be so cruel."

He gets very quiet and she doesn't say anything.

He wants to hold her and kiss her but his mind is coming up with reasons not to.

_I've been wearing the same clothes for three days._

_I need a shower._

_She thinks I'm drunk but I'm not, not really._

His movement off the couch startles her.

She was deep in thought also.

_Maybe I should make the first move but what if he's one of those guys that doesn't like when a woman makes the first move._

_Damn it._

_He's not even looking at me_.

He picks up the cell phone.

"Who are you calling?"

"Rocco's, I'm hungry, what would you like?"

"Get me a chicken parm sandwich and a salad with creamy Italian dressing."

He orders lunch for them and then excuses himself to take a shower. Alex sits back on the couch and closes her eyes. She feels as if a huge weight has been lifted from her shoulders. She is not foolish in believing that this is over, he still has some major issues to deal with, but it's a start.

He startles her as he comes back into the room.

"Does anyone know where you are? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

When she looks up at him, he looks different, but not sure how.

"I just said that I'd be back later, anyway what am I supposed to do there all by myself?"

"Maybe they'll bring back Lawrence Bollar again." He smiles as he raises his eyebrows.

"That's not funny, Goren."

"Could you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"After lunch could you drive me into the city? I have to pick up my car."

"Sure."

The doorbell rings, he pays for the food and they enjoy each other's company while they eat lunch in the kitchen, their conversation in light.

They finish their meal and then they leave Brooklyn and then they drive to "Shorty's Pub" to pick up his car.

"Thanks for the ride."

"What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"I don't know, I haven't really thought about it. I think I need a day just to hang out, maybe catch up on some sleep."

"That sounds like a good idea, I'll call you tomorrow."

He gets out of the car but before he closes the door, he turns to talk to her.

"Alex."

"Yeah."

"I………….I just want to say thank you again for everything."

"I would like to say no problem but……….."

He starts to laugh and so does she. He closes the door and she drives away.

_I love that woman._

_He wanted to say something else, I know it. He had that shy look on his face._

_He looks so cute when he gets like that._

_I love that man._

**TBC**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

The next day Alex calls his cell phone, no answer. All she gets is the machine on his home phone. She assumes he has gone up to visit his Mom. Her cell rings about 4 pm as she is just leaving the station.

"Eames."

"Hey it's me. If you've been calling, I apologize for not answering I just wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone."

"I understand and yes I have called a few times, how are you feeling?"

"Ah alright."

"What did you do all day?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing."

"Were you bored?" Alex opens the door to her car and gets in.

"No not really. But I must say except for the court shows, daytime TV sucks."

"I thought you'd visit your Mom today?" She starts up the engine and puts the car in gear.

"I'll probably go up tomorrow."

"That's good, she'll be glad to see you."

"I hope so, I hope my mood changes by the time I get there." He pauses listening. "What is all that noise?"

"Traffic."

"You're talking on your cell and driving, you're not suppose to do that?"

"Bobby?"

"Yeah."

"Call a cop."

He laughs and so does she. He gets quiet for a minute and then he says as if he's proud of himself, "I called Doctor Olivette this morning, she gave me a name of a counselor."

She notices that he seems to be speaking more like Bobby than that stranger she's been with for the last two weeks. "Now that is something I've been waiting to hear, good for you. Now make sure you call and make an appointment."

Again, he sounds boastful. "I already called. I have an appointment for this Friday at 2 PM."

"Excellent. Are you nervous."

"I'll let you know at one forty five. I have to go, my phone keeps beeping, but before I hang up I want to know if you would have dinner with me on Thursday?"

He figures that Thursday would be a better night to ask than the usual Friday or Saturday, she might already have plans.

"Yes I would" She feels as if she accepted a little too quickly. " She pauses and nonchalantly says, "Where?"

"Any where you want."

"Sal's is a good place."

"Are you sure? I mean I could meet you in the city."

"No I'll drive out to Brooklyn, I don't mind."

"Ok if that's what you want to do. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Ok, Bye."

They both have a good feeling as they hang up their phones.

**Carmel Ridge**

As Bobby enters the driveway to Carmel Ridge, he thinks how many times he has pulled into this parking lot. His Mom has been resident here for over ten years.

He has been to visit her once a week since then, usually on Sunday. He hasn't been to see her since the Sunday before Nicole abducted him. He has phoned her a few times but he has been very evasive as to why he has not visited. It is a Wednesday afternoon and the lot is empty. Even on Sunday's it's not that full but today you can count the cars on your fingers.

The receptionist notices Bobby and greets him. He smiles at her and says hello as he passes the desk on his way to his Mom's room. As he turns the corner, Jane Morrow, one of the nurses, is walking toward him.

"Morning Jane."

"Good morning, it's not Sunday is it?"

He smiles, "No, how is she today?"

"She's sharp, her new medication seems to be working well for her."

"Yeah for now, wait a month of two."

"Well aren't we the optimist."

"No, It's more like been there before."

Jane doesn't answer him she just looks at him and she can see the sadness in his face.

He apologizes, "I'm sorry."

"I understand, are you alright?"

"I've been better."

"Were you ill?"

"You could say that."

"Well it's good to see, we missed you around here."

"Thanks."

"She'll be happy to see you. Enjoy your visit, take care."

"See you later Jane."

He slowly opens the door and she looks up to see who it is. She quickly turns to face the window.

_This isn't going to be easy_.

"Mom."

No answer. He raises his voice. "Mom!"

"I heard you Bobby, I'm not deaf."

_Then why didn't you answer me?_

He takes a deep breath. Frances Goren may be mentally ill but she is still his Mom and she can pull the old quilt trip on you just like any other parent.

_She is not going to make feel guilty about this_.

His anger is building and his voice is loud and harsh when he speaks. "I am not going to apologize to you for not visiting these past few weeks. Things haven't been going well for me. I've had some trouble. Can you understand that?"

"Of course I understand. I'm not ignorant."

Rolling his eyes, "I didn't say you were."

She continues to look out the window. Her voice is very soft and sturdy but flat.

"Bobby, a long time ago they invented this machine, it's called a phone. Did you suddenly forget how to use one?"

He does not respond.

"I have called you several times but all I ever get is your answering machine. You know how I hate talking to a machine."

_That explains all the hang-ups_.

"What's happened?"

She turns to look at him for the first time. "You look terrible, you have that same look your father would have when he was out all night."

She turns back toward the window. "That smug look he would have on his face because he thought I was too ignorant to know what he was doing."

He walks closer to her and stands in front of her, raising his voice and pointing his finger in her direction. "Are you trying to piss me off by comparing me to that fuck!"

"Why are you raising your voice and getting so upset all I said was that you had that same look that I saw for so many nights." She looks at him and catches his eye. "Are you feeling guilty about something?"

He sits down hard in the chair next to her. "I'm sorry, it's just that I haven't been feeling well and I'm having trouble sleeping."

She watches him as he speaks. He is sitting back in the chair staring up at the ceiling he looks pale and tired.

"You do look very tired and you've been drinking. Why?"

He answers her but he continues to stare at the ceiling. "I haven't been drinking."

"Well maybe not today, not yet, but you have. Look at me Bobby and tell me the truth."

"Yes, alright, I've been drinking a little."

"A little. As in every night." She pauses, realizing that he is not going to tell her any thing more.

"Do you think I'm a selfish woman?"

"No. Why would you ask that?"

"Admit it, your first thought was that I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, not caring or wondering why you haven't been to visit. Am I right?"

He continues to look at the ceiling. He is trying very hard to think of something to say to change the subject, because now he is starting to feel guilty.

"Bobby I asked you a question."

"Yes. Yes I did, when I heard the message from the doctor that is exactly what I thought. I didn't or want to be bothered with any of your crap. I'm sorry. It's just that I have been dealing with this problem for a while and…………"

"Does your problem have anything to do with this?" She holds up a newspaper that looks a few weeks old. He turns to look at her and then he sees the headline of the article in the paper.

**TWO MORE PEOPLE ARRESTED IN NYC POLICE DETECTIVE'S ABDUCTION**

He shakes his head. "That has nothing to do with me."

"I may have some problems, God knows, but I'm still able to comprehend what I read."

She tosses the paper and it lands on his lap. He looks down at it and then he folds it up. He stands up and puts the paper on a little table next to her chair. Shaking his head, "No Mom that's not me."

"You're lying to me. Tell me the truth Bobby." She pauses giving him time to answer her.

He stays silent.

She gets up from her chair and picks up the paper. "The article mentions the names of the detectives who were on the case. Alex's name is mentioned in the article, along with a few names that I do not recognize, however nowhere in the article is the victims name mentioned or yours, Alex is still your partner, isn't she?"

Very softly, he says. "Yeah."

"Then how come you didn't work this case, as I've heard you say, with her and the others?"

She doesn't need to say anymore the look on his face tells her that she is right. She sits back down in the chair next to him. "One of the most traumatic events in my sons life and he doesn't tell me. Why, why didn't you tell me?"

He shakes his head hoping that an intelligent answer will come to mind. Nothing, he has no reason for not telling her. "I don't know Mom. It's just that…" He pauses and she speaks. "Could it be because you never do? You figure I have enough of my own problems."

He smiles and chuckles softly. "I'm not sure how to answer that."

"You never come to me with any bad news or problems. I think the last time I helped you with a problem, my God, you were probably in high school."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Bobby I am so sorry that you feel that you can't rely on me for anything."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not, we're talking now."

"Only because I found out what happened. Otherwise, you weren't going to say anything to me. Were you?"

"Maybe…." Shrugging his shoulders, "Probably not."

"Why would she want to do this to you?"

"I don't know."

"Bobby."

"Honest Mom I don't know." He pauses as he looks out the window. "She hates me. She hates all men." He gets up from the chair and paces around the room. "Nicole, man how can I describe her? She is very intelligent, attractive and in her own way charming and funny. You wouldn't think that when you look at her the evil she is capable of bestowing on people."

"Did she hurt you?"

He finds it hard to look at her when he speaks. "No. She loves to play mind games with people. She is able to find your weaknesses and she has this uncanny ability to get you right where it hurts."

"What does she do?"

"She uses people anyway she can to get what she wants."

"What did she want?"

"To ruin my life? To destroy me? She is the only one who knows. But the way I have been behaving lately maybe part of what she wanted she got."

"Are you in any trouble?"

"No I just haven't been myself lately." He turns to look at her and smiles. "But things are looking up."

"Honestly?"

"Yeah Mom, I've taken some time off and I have an appointment to see a counselor on Friday."

"Are you feeling any better then when you first got here?"

"Yes I am, thanks Mom."

They both get up from their chairs, she extends her arms, and they hug. "I love you Bobby."

"I love you too, Mom."

They break the hug. "Mom are you up to going out for lunch?"

"That sounds like a good idea, give me about twenty minutes to get ready."

"Sure. What are you in the mood for steak, pasta, what?"

"Could we go to Rose's?"

"Sure anywhere you want. I'll leave you to get ready and I'll be back after I speak to Dr. Shimo." As he walks toward the door, he turns to face her. "It's about me not you, ok."

She just nods her head.

"Hi Linda, how are you this afternoon."

"It's good to see you, I'm fine, how about yourself."

"Better than when I got here. Is the Doctor in?"

"Yes."

Linda goes into the doctor's office, within minutes, she reappears, and gestures for him to enter, she holds the door for him as he passes her he thanks her.

As Bobby walks into the office, he extends his hand and the two men shake hands. "It's good to see you, are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah I'm doing a little better. I wanted to first apologize to you for my attitude the other day on the phone."

"It was strange hearing you speak like that. I thought I had the wrong number."

Bobby laughs as he sits down. "Let's just say that I wasn't myself."

"You sounded disoriented."

"No. More like drunk."

The doctor sits down in the chair next to him. "Drunk at 11:30 in the morning?"

"Yeah. I have been drinking a lot lately."

"Why?"

"It started about two weeks ago I had trouble sleeping. It is very easy to get into a habit like that."

"Yes it is."

"The last two nights was the first time in weeks that I was able to sleep without alcohol."

"That's a start. That's good to hear."

The doctor looks over at him as if he is examining him. "It looks like your visit with your Mom went well."

"Yes it did. It went better than I thought it would, considering my mood when I got here."

"Did she show you the paper?"

"Yes she did."

"I was going to say something to you on the phone the other day but when I heard you attitude I decided against it."

"Very perceptive."

"For over two weeks now we have been trying to get her to talk about it. She is such a private and proud woman that she closed down. She had to see you first."

"My parents were always good at hiding things, not just from strangers but from family as well, I could never understand that I still don't."

"Bobby it seems to me that you acted the same way, didn't you?"

He chuckles and shakes his head. "Oh man……….Damn"

"You figured you could handle this problem all by yourself. Didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did."

"To proud to admit to yourself that you needed help. In addition, I bet that if you think back over the past few weeks how many people have actually been there to help you. And if they gave you an opening to talk you shut down or changed the subject or you pushed them away, isn't that right?"

"Jesus, that's right."

"Have you made any arrangement to talk with someone?"

"Yes I have."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that."

The doctor's phone buzzes. "Doctor, Mister Sheldon is on the line, do you want to talk to him now or should I tell him you'll call him back."

"I'll take his call now."

"Oh Bobby, one more thing, make sure you go more than once."

"I will." Bobby stands and extends his hand and the two men shake. "Thanks Doctor. I had better go. I'm taking Mom out for lunch."

"Enjoy your afternoon."

He walks back toward her room and he sees her waiting outside the door. "Are you ready Mom?"

"Yes I am. Let's go."

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

The drive home from Carmel Ridge can take anywhere from an hour and a half to three hours, depending on the traffic. Bobby puts a CD of assorted artists into the player and lights a cigarette.

_This is the last cigarette……….Well maybe the last pack._

It was a great visit with his Mom. He takes a quick look up in the air. "Thanks."

His mood has improved since this morning and as he approaches the interstate, the words from the doctor go through his mind.

_To proud to admit to yourself that, you needed help. In addition, I bet that if you think back over the past few weeks how many people have actually been there to help you, and if they gave you an opening to talk you shut down or changed the subject or you pushed them away, isn't that right?_

"Wow." He says aloud. "What an idiot."

He thinks of all the people that were there to help him. Even Logan and Barek for helping to find him and the support that they gave Alex.

Captain Deakins for giving him a long leash. Bobby knew that the Captain was aware that morning that he was drinking. You don't become Captain of the MCS by being impervious.

ADA Ron Carver for letting it slide that morning, showing up at the hearing in that condition.

Even people that he has never meet before. Sheriff Coles down in Maryland.

Any of those three people could have nailed his ass to the wall.

_Alex. Oh, man I don't think I could ever thank her enough. _

During the drive, he only hits one half hour traffic jam and as he drives over the bridge, he makes a decision. He needs to see Nicole and tomorrow is as good as any to go. It might be a total disaster but it is something that he has to do.

Before he goes home her stops off at Wendy's for something to eat. He arrives home a little after six PM. The answering machine is blinking, three messages.

He eats before listening to the messages. As he is about to hit the "Play Messages" button his doorbell rings.

He opens the door and standing there are two very pissed off guys.

He says. "Hey." The taller of the men speaks first. "Hey, is that all you can say, where the fuck have you been?"

"Around."

Andy Reilly and Dave Fanelli just walk past him as he stands there holding the door.

He shuts the door. As he walks toward them Andy says, "Jesus Christ you could of at least returned a phone call."

"Well Andy at least we know he's alive."

"Just barely, he looks like shit."

"I'm standing right here."

"Yeah we know."

"You guys are a pain in the ass."

"Are you alright?"

"Getting there."

"I think he needs a night out."

"Definatley."

Bobby shakes his head. "No drinking."

"Well we were thinking more like." Dave holds up three tickets. "The Yankees are in town."

"I'm there, I gotta change my shirt, be right back."

"Andy you think he's bull shitting us."

"No." Shaking his head, he's "He's not making excuses for not going. He's coming around. He'll be alright."

**The Next Morning**

He wakes a little after 8 am from a restful nights sleep. He takes a quick shower and then a walk to the deli. One coffee for the walk home and one coffee to drink with the breakfast sandwich he bought. He sits on the outside deck and opens the paper. The phone rings.

"Hello."

A very angry Alex is on the line. "What did you get drunk again last night?"

He does not respond quickly enough. "Well? Is that why you forgot to call me?"

"No." He says very shyly.

"I'm sorry Bobby I have no right to speak to you that way."

"Yes you do."

"Ok then. Where the hell were you last night?"

He laughs. "Andy, Dave and I went to the Yankee game last night. It wasn't planned they just stopped by. I didn't get home until after midnight and I figured it would be too late to call."

She smiles. "I hope you had a good time?"

"Yeah as a matter of fact I did."

He can hear voices in the background. "Bobby I can't talk long. I'm helping Logan and Barek on their case and we're heading down to the lab. So what time tonight?"

_I thought she forgot._

"Seven. Is seven alright?"

"Sounds great, I'll see you then. Bye."

"Ok bye."

He clicks off the phone and a smile crosses his face.

He leisurely drinks his coffee and finishes reading the paper.

**Visit With Nicole**

Within an hour, he is in his car on his way to the jail to see Nicole.

Nicole is lying on her bed reading a book. She hears someone walking toward her cell but she ignores the noise and continues to read.

"Hey, you have a visitor," says a guard.

"Is it my lawyer?"

"No but it's a cop, come on lets go, you know the routine."

She stands up and turns her back to the cell door. Nicole is hand cuffed. The guard escorts her to a private visiting room. The door opens and she is pleasantly surprise. "Sit down." Says the guard as she removes the handcuffs.

"Good morning, Bobby."

He turns to look at her. "That's debatable."

He sits across from her as she is smiling at him.

"You look good in orange."

She continues to smile as she sits back in her chair.

"Are you allowed to be here?"

"Why not? I didn't arrest you."

"That's right maybe the charges will actually stick this time."

He chuckles softy. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, you don't have to leave."

"I've come here to tell you a few things then I'm gone and I am going to do my damnedest to forget that you ever existed."

"You could never forget me detective, if you still are a detective."

"What?"

She moves forward to catch his eye. "Have you lost you job yet Bobby?"

He lowers his head and shakes it as he sighs. As always, she knows exactly what buttons to push and being in jail has not slowed her down.

"Why would you ask that?"

"It's the middle of the morning in the middle of the week and you're dressed like you're slumming."

"I've just taken a few days off, that's all."

"Did they tell you, you had to? Well your mother will be glad to see you more than once a week."

"Yes I'm sure she would."

He laughs and gets up from the chair. "You can't help yourself can you, I mean look where you are. You are not in control of anything here. No it was my idea."

"Oh I see."

Raising his voice, "No you don't! Goddamnit, just stop it, no more fucking games Nicole!" His anger is showing, something she has rarely seen. She stiffens up.

He puts his hands on his waist as he tries to control his temper, he paces around the room, and Nicole stays quiet. She watches him closely. He calms down and resumes his seat. "Why? Please, can you please tell me why?"

"Because I could."

He bows his head down. "Can't you just talk to me? Jesus Christ, just talk to me."

"How has the past few weeks been?" He does not answer her right away. "Oh I see that badly."

He nods his head. "Yes they were pretty bad but things seem to be getting a little bit better especially in the last few days." He stands up and begins to walk around the room. "You see I realized something, something I never thought I had."

"What?"

"You'd never understand. It has to do with people." Her demeanor changes and she stops smiling and looks away.

"What? What's the matter, you look different." She does understand. He is not like her, not at all. He is not alone. There will always be someone there for him.

_I should have known that she would not let him fall._

He bends down to catch her eye and she raises her head. "It may take some time Nicole but eventually the memory of you will be just a blur, I feel a big change coming in my life, but you."

He straightens up. "This is it, this is where you will be for a long, long time." He begins to walk away. "Goodbye Nicole."

Barely above a whisper, that he does not hear. "You've finally beaten me Bobby, congratulations."

The door slams and he is gone.

**Later That Day**

He takes a shower and not really wanting to, he shaves. Every time he takes days off from work he lets his beard grow. Splashes on some cologne, he does not wear any when he works it screws up his sense of smell.

He opens his closet door and stands there just looking. "This is ridiculous. I've seen this woman almost everyday for over five years now. Like she gives a crap what I wear. What am I so nervous about? It's only Alex."

He decides on black jeans and a blue sports shirt.

Across the bridge, Alex is doing the same thing.

"This is ridiculous. I've seen this man almost everyday for over five years now. A skirt, no he'll probably laugh, he hasn't seen me in a skirt in years. Jesus, get a hold of yourself, its just Bobby. She decides on black pants and a turquoise blouse.

She gets in the car at 6:15. Over the bridge and within half an hour she is in his neighborhood.

He answers the door.

_Damn she looks great._

_Does he always look and smell this good._

"Bobby are you ready?"

"Yeah. Do you mind walking?"

The air is clear and the temperature is in the high seventies.

"No, not at all, it's a beautiful night. Let's go,"

The dinner conversation consisted of everything but police work. It was a first for the both of them.

"I think I ate too much."

"Yeah. Me too."

There is a slight chill in the air as they walk home, Alex shivers. He puts his arm around her and holds her close to him. They do not speak much on the way home but it's not uncomfortable.

The walk home takes no more than ten minutes. He unlocks the door and he holds the door for her as she enters.

He grabs one of his many remotes and music fills the room. She walks into the living room and sits down on the couch.

As he is in the kitchen, she gets up and walks over to the stereo. As she walks she flings her shoes off and they end up in two different locations. She looks through his CD collection. She sees CDS from Sinatra, the Eagles, Chicago, Eric Clapton and many, many more, a wide variety of styles.

He walks up behind her and as she turns, he hands her a glass of wine without her asking.

Thanks." She takes a sip. "Wow this is delicious. Why does your wine always taste so good? Is it expensive?"

"No more expensive than that 4o dollar bottle of whiskey you made me throw out."

She takes another sip. "Yeah well you and whiskey equals nasty."

"So I've been told."

"I like your CD collection." She continues to look. "Bobby? They're in alphabetical order."

"Yeah I know. I have over 200 CD'S in these racks, how else am I supposed to find what I'm looking for."

"That's make sense."

Holding his wine glass in one hand, he places his arm around her. She is a little startled at first but then she moves back into him.

She can feel his breathe on her neck.

"Do you smell this good or is it me?"

She smiles. "It's you."

"Hmmmm, nice." They both laugh.

He moves her hair away as he kisses her shoulder. She can feel his tongue move up to her neck as his free hand is cupping her breast moving his thumb across her nipple.

He reaches around her, takes the glass from her hand, and places them on the table. Alex does not move, he might be a big man but he is very light on his feet and she can feel him behind her once again.

His arms find their way around her waist as he tenderly nibbles on her earlobe. With each nibble, his hands are exploring her body. His mouth is once again sucking on her neck and shoulder as his hands are caressing her breasts.

Alex raises her arms to put around his neck. He takes hold of her hand and spins her around. They are face to face. Before she can react, his hands are on her butt and he picks her up. They kiss each other deeply, their tongues darting in and out.

He moves back a few steps and then sits down on the couch with her in his lap.

"Nice move."

He smiles. "If I kept bending down like that I was going to get a crick in my neck. You're a lot shorter without your shoes on. Oh by the way one is over there." He points. "And one is over there."

She doesn't say the words but he can see it in her face.

_Shut up Bobby_. He laughs.

He cups her face in his hands as he kisses her gently on the lips. "I'm in love with you Alex."

She puts her arms around his neck. "I love you too."

She pulls him close and kisses him as he unbuttons her blouse. He pulls it down off her shoulders and it falls to the floor. Alex sits up, unclasps her bra, and tosses it across the room. He watches it as it lands on the table.

He leans his head forward and kisses her between her breasts. "God you're beautiful."

She straightens up as he cups each breast in his hands licking each nipple to get them wet. His hand is fondling one as he takes the other one into his mouth gently biting on her erect nipple. She arches her back and lets out a soft moan.

She pushes him back on the couch and unbuttons his shirt. Her hands caress his chest and he moves further back in the couch. As she licks her own fingers, she puts her fingers next to his mouth and he grabs them with his teeth and sucks on them. She rubs his nipple with one finger as she rubs her own with the other. He shivers and takes a deep breath.

She moves her head down, kisses his neck, and licks her way down to his chest.

She can feel his hardness underneath her and she wonders if he can feel her wetness as his hand has found its place between her legs.

Suddenly his hands are on her butt as he lifts her up off his legs, he then opens his legs and she is standing in-between. He stands up, takes her by the hand, and leads her to his bedroom.

Alex stands with her back to the bed as she grabs him by the belt and pulls him toward her. She takes off his shirt and tosses it over her head. She unbuckles his belt and slides it through the loops as she kisses his chest then flicks her tongue across his nipples. She tosses his belt over her head.

"How do you ever find your clothes in the morning?"

She laughs as she says. "Wait till you see what I do to your underwear."

He shakes his head and laughs.

She unzips his pants and places her hands on his hips as she slides them off. He steps out of them as she pulls down his boxers.

"It was getting a little tight in there."

"I can see that." A wicked smile, that he does not see, crosses her face. She remembers a conversation she had with Carolyn.

She sits down on the bed and begins to stroke him. She leans forward to take him in her mouth. Her hands are on his butt holding him in place as her tongue swirls around him, slowly moving him in and out of her mouth. He lets out a low moan as he runs his fingers through her hair and caresses her back.

He is almost at the edge when he pulls away from her. "No not that way, not this time."

He gently pushes her down on the bed as he slowly removes her pants and then her panties. He holds them in his hands. "Go ahead do it." He tosses each item over his head and she laughs. As Alex moves back on the bed, he places his hand on her calf as he climbs onto the bed. He slowly moves his hand up her leg resting it on her thigh as he lies down on the bed holding his head up with his arm.

As he looks down at her, he can read her mind. He shakes his head. "Not yet."

His hand is fondling her breast and then he pinches her nipple sending a shiver through her.

She smiles and pulls him close to her. She glides her tongue across his bottom lip. His tongue dives into her mouth as his hand has found its way to her thigh and runs his fingers lightly across her center. He places two fingers inside her as his mouth has begun to suck on her neck. She arches her back and lets out a soft moan.

He lays kisses from her neck to her shoulder and collarbone. He slides his fingers out as his tongue has found its way to her breasts. His wet finger rubs one of her nipples as his tongue is licking the other one.

He slowly and gently positions himself on top of her. He is a big man but his touch is gentle and sensual. Every touch is driving her crazy with anticipation. He kisses her between her breasts as she runs her fingers through his hair. His tongue kisses and licks down her body.

He spreads her legs apart as he lies down between them. She grabs his hands and places them on her breasts. He touches her clit with the tip of his tongue and she trembles, she arches her back as his tongue slides into her.

He kisses and licks his way back up her body tasting every inch of her. His mouth is close to hers again and as she looks up at him, she smiles. She puts her hands on his face and kisses him. His face is so sweet and his eyes are so full of passion. "Bobby make love to me."

His mouth is on hers again as he slowly enters her. She tightens at first and then relaxes moving with him taking him in inch by inch.

She grabs hold of the sheets and pulls up on them as her body sinks into the bed.

"Come on baby, come for me."

She wraps her legs around him, not wanting this to end.

He can feel her shudder underneath him as she climaxes. A long wail of indistinct words fill the air as her orgasm claims her body.

She releases the sheets and puts her arms around him. He covers her mouth with his as he pounds into her faster and harder. He straightens up as he reaches the edge. A growl comes from him as he climaxes, he thrusts in once more empting himself within her.

He lays his head down next to hers as his breathing starts to slow down.

He pulls out and lies down next to her. She reaches over and puts her arm on his chest as her head is lying on his shoulder. He grabs her hands and kisses the top of her head.

"Holy Shit." He says between breaths.

"I couldn't have said it any better myself."

They lay in silence for a few minutes.

Alex says. "What do we do now?"

"I could go for a pizza."

"Be serious."

"I am. I'm hungry."

"Bobby."

"Don't worry about it now."

As she sits up against the backboard, he puts his hands behind his head.

As she speaks her, fingers are playing with his hair, "I've had a lot of lovers in my life but you are probably one of the best friends I have ever had. I don't want to lose that."

"How many?"

She shakes her head at the question. "How many what?"

"Lovers, 10,20, how many."

"Jesus Bobby, you're impossible

"No I'm very possible, come here."

He pulls her down and kisses her. She snuggles in next to him.

"Bobby?"

"Shh, not now."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, I just can't do serious right now. Ok."

"Ok."

She kisses his cheek as she gets out of the bed. Alex sees his shirt that she threw over her head and picks it up. She closes her eyes as her nose gets a whiff of his scent. She puts it on. It practically covers her entire body but she looks so cute and comfortable. He smiles at the sight. She begins to walk toward the door.

"Alex. What are you doing?"

"I'm not going to eat pizza naked it could be very dangerous."

"You defiantly have a point there."

"Is Rocco's on your speed dial?"

"No. The number is 555-1742."

"Do you want any toppings?"

He looks at the clock. "No, not at this hour, plain is fine."

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Alex wakes from a restful sleep. She looks over and Bobby is still asleep.

_This is nice. I can get use to this, very easily._

Her movements in the bed wake him. Instead of a cheery good morning, he gets up on his elbow and looks at the alarm clock.

"Does that say 6 AM?"

"Yes. Why?"

He looks over at her with sleepy eyes. "Is the house on fire?"

"No. Of course not."

"Then what are you waking me up for. I normally sleep until at least seven and since I'm not going to work today. I can sleep later."

"I didn't mean to wake you up you big grouch."

Aloud so he can hear. "Mental note. Do not wake Bobby up before7 AM because if you do he acts like a big prick."

"I love you too." He falls back down on the bed and his head is very close to her neck.

"Bobby I need to talk to you about something. I wanted to last night but I never got around to it."

He says playfully. "Oh a neck." He starts kissing her neck and nibbling on her ear. She asks him to stop but at the same time, she does not move.

"I want to talk to you."

"I'm listening."

"Will you stop?"

"If you want me to stop. You're gonna have to move."

"Oh what the hell." She turns her head and their lips meet. "I can be a little late for work."

In between kisses, he says. "You actually think it's going to take that long?" She pokes him in the ribs and he starts to laugh.

They make love and as they lay in bed holding each other close. Neither wants to be the first to let go. Alex lays her head down on his chest. "I don't want to leave."

"That's a nice thing to hear." He kisses the top of her head then lifts her head up by her chin and kisses her gently on the lips. They look into each other's eyes. "I can't find the right words to say exactly how I feel about you and just saying I love you seems so…I don't know, like it's not enough."

She grabs him by the back of his neck, pulls him close to her, and kisses him. "Say it. I love the way it sounds."

"I love you. Alex."

They hug each other again and the alarm clock goes off. It is 7 AM. It startles them. "Damn." He gets up from the bed and turns off the alarm. "Well at least it got me out of bed."

She laughs. "When did you set the alarm?"

"I don't remember force of habit. I probably just put it on before I went out last night."

"Bobby, will you do me a favor?"

"Of course."

"Would you get the bag I have in the back seat of my car?"

"A bag?"

"Yes. I brought a change of clothes with me."

"Oh you did. Huh." He smiles as she walks up to him and reaches up to kiss his cheek, "Mind if I use a shower?"

"Not at all." She walks towards the door. "Wait." She turns around. "What?"

"Let me in there first. Damn, I have to get another bathroom in this house."

When she is finished in the bathroom, she finds her bag of clothes on his bed. He is not in the room. She can smell coffee and it smells great. Alex changes, applies her makeup and joins him in the kitchen.

The Today Show is on as she pours herself a cup. She takes a sip. "Hey this is good."

In a teasing voice, "Get my breakfast woman."

"Woman." She repeats. "You know actually I wouldn't mind making breakfast if you ever had any food in this place. You bachelors, all your refrigerators have the same three items. Beer, wine and maybe an egg."

He laughs. She opens the frig and it is as she said but there is one extra item, A jar of pickles. She turns to look at him. "What's with the pickles?"

"I have pickles in there?" Shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders, "I don't know."

She pours herself another cup of coffee and sits down next to him. "I want to talk to you about Richard. The Captain wants to wrap up the Lowell case. He wants me to bring Richard in."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"Don't you want to talk to him?"

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"I don't want to talk to him."

"Bobby?"

"Alex. Now that we know each other's name, you have to do this, I can't."

"What do you mean you can't? What are you giving up?"

"No. I can't do it, you have to." He pauses as he takes a sip of coffee. "Why do you think he waits until their unconscious before he touches them?"

"Because he's afraid of them."

"He's in awe of them, but he also has no respect for them. Now if you approach him being the kind of woman you are, strong and independent, he'll crumble."

"But how?" How should I approach him? Guilt him into admitting it?"

"How can you quilt someone into admitting something when they have no conscious."

"Trick him?" Bobby shakes his head. "No. He's too smart."

"Then what should I do, lie to him?"

"No." He pauses, "Tell him the truth, and unveil his secret. Unravel his crime step by step and he will fold. Remember, to make it personal. Say his name as much as possible and make eye contact with him."

She sits back in the chair and finishes the rest of the coffee in her cup. "I can handle him, the little scum ball. We should have had this conversation two weeks ago."

He does not answer her he just turns his head away. A look of disappointment shows on his face.

_Damnit. _Alex sits up and puts her hand on his. "We are not responsible for his actions Bobby."

"I know that but…" She cuts him off. "Don't beat yourself up over it."

He nods his head. "I won't." He kisses her hand and sits up straight. "When you're ready to pick him up call me. I want to watch."

He notices her staring at the coffee pot. "Go ahead take the rest. I can make more."

She fills her mug again. "I plan on picking him up early this morning. You remember you have an appointment this afternoon."

"Yeah I know."

She sits down next to him. "Who is this doctor and why did Olivette recommend him or her to you."

"Her name is Angela Sherman. She's a psychologist."

Alex notices that whenever he talks about what happened to him with Nicole he is unable to look at her. "Her patients are mostly people who have been held hostage or abducted and spouses who have been controlled by their mates."

"Are you nervous?"

"No. Not yet."

She can see the look on his face. He is a little nervous. She has seen that look before. She drinks down the last of the coffee and stands up to put the mug in the sink.

Bobby stands up and walks behind her. He grabs her from behind and she turns around. In a Ward Cleaver kind of voice, he says.

"Have a good day dear."

She starts to laugh and then she kisses him. "Bye honey."

He chuckles and walks her to the door.

**One Police Plaza**

A young man exits the elevator he has a delivery for Alexandra Eames. Detective Barbara Miles shows the young man to her desk.

Bobby steps out of the elevator and people look over and nod at him. Carolyn walks over. "Hey Bobby. How are you feeling?"

They walk together toward the observation room. "Much better thanks."

"You back?"

"No not yet. Alex is bringing in Richard Lowell and since we started this thing together I want to see it through till the end."

"_Barek, phone call."_

"Take care of yourself Bobby. See you later."

"Thanks, Bye."

Barbara catches Alex as she exits the elevator. "Who is he?"

"Who?"

"The one who sent that?" She points. "He must be very sweet, Alex."

Alex nods her head. "Yes he is."

On her desk is a single red rose.

_If you send a single red rose, it means, "I love you."_

Bobby notices Alex walking behind Richard. He is being escorted by two police officers, his parents are nowhere in sight. She sees him across the room and it is hard for her not to smile.

"Bring him into interrogation. I'll be right there."

"Are you ready?" Bobby says.

"Yeah."

"Good luck."

Bobby walks into the observation room. Captain Deakins and Ron Carver are already in there.

Alex un-holsters her gun and puts it in the gun locker.

"Morning Detective."

"Morning."

Deakins patting him on back. "How you doing Bobby?"

"I'm doing alright Captain, thanks."

Alex walks into the room. Richard looks up quickly and then lowers his head. Alex sits down across from him. Without looking at her, he asks. "Where's the big guy?"

"He's not here today, Richard. You have the honor and privilege of talking with me today."

"I'd rather talk to him."

"That's too bad. I know all about you Richard."

"Oh really. What do you know?"

"I know that you're just a scared little boy."

"Hey. I'm a man."

"Oh you're a man. A man who can't ever look at me when I'm talking to him." She slams her hand down on the table. "Look at me Richard!"

He lifts his head up but looks away from her. "Not over there, I'm over here. Why can't you look at me?"

He keeps his head down but she can see his eyes.

"I know what you do. You sit and watch. You are very patient. You wait and watch them for hours while they get high and make fools out of themselves. It makes you feel superior, doesn't it?"

She pauses, waiting for a response from him. He doesn't say anything he just shakes his heads from side to side.

"Then you see her, you watch her as she stumbles and you, do what? Pretend to be a nice guy and help her walk and then you take her upstairs. Maybe you talk her into one more drink and watch her as she passes out?"

"No. I told that big guy and now I'm telling you, you got the wrong guy."

Alex does not respond to his comment she continues her story. "Then you make your move. My God Richard why not use one of those blow up girls, you'd get the same effect."

"No you don't. Those things are cold, at least the girls are warm."

Bobby, Carver and Deakins look at each other. Bobby says. "Oh man. That is one sad and lonely kid."

"That is one messed up kid." Says Deakins.

"And he's so young." Carver says. "Fortunately we got him before he grew up into God knows what."

Bobby says barely above a whisper. "He was already there."

They look back to Alex and Richard. "But they're asleep Richard."

"Yes they are."

Carver says, "Got him."

"That way they won't complain. Because all you woman ever do is complain, you bitch about everything, you're never happy, no matter what we do, it's not enough."

Alex sits back in her chair, takes a deep breath, and says very calmly. "So, what happened that night with Michelle?"

"She moved."

"Did she wake up Richard?"

"No she never opened her eyes but I got scared. I thought she was going to see me. I didn't want her to see me so I held the pillow over her face, she didn't move after that."

He buries his face in his hands and starts to sob, for himself.

Alex stands up. "Richard Lowell you're under arrest for murder." Two police officers enter the room and escort him to booking.

"I'll be right there." Alex says.

Before Bobby leaves the room, he extends his hand first to the Captain and then to Carver.

He just says. "Thanks." Both men shake his hand and they respond by nodding. He excuses himself and leaves the room.

Carver speaking to Deakins, "You think he'll be alright?"

"Yeah, I do. He'll be fine. He'll be back just as brilliant and annoying as ever." Both men laugh.

"Annoying I can understand that."

"He's gotten to you a few times."

Carver nodding his head, "Yes he has. He has undermined me more than once. As a lawyer some of the things he's done has really pissed me off but as a human being living on this planet I can't knock the man for his passion as a matter of fact I admire him for it."

Bobby meets up with Alex. "Good job."

"Thanks partner." They start walking in the direction of the elevator. "What happened to his parents?"

"I almost fell over when he told me. But they went away for a couple of days."

"Oh man."

"During the search this morning we found two kegs of beer, bottles and bottles of wine and alcohol."

"Oh my God, he was planning another party. Any drugs?"

"No, I guess he didn't get a chance to buy them yet."

She pushes the elevator button. "You trying to get rid of me?"

"I don't want you to miss your appointment."

"I won't." The elevator door opens. They both step inside. "It's just downtown." The door closes. "Besides it's only one o'clock."

"That was so sweet, thank you. I wanted to give you such a big hug, it was frustrating, so I'll do it now."

"The smile on your face made it all worth while."

She breaks the hug but keeps hold of his hand. "I was thinking, since I couldn't make breakfast this morning. How about I prepare dinner tonight."

He gives her a puzzled look. "Really?"

"Why do you say it like that?"

"No reason, you're gonna cook?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna cook, I'm a damn good cook."

"Ok I believe you." He pauses. "What are you going to make?"

"I'm not sure yet, I need to go shopping. But I want to use your kitchen, mine is too small."

"Ok. What time should I expect you?"

"Probably a little after six."

"Alright, should I pick up a dessert? Cheesecake perhaps."

"Definatley."

The elevator door opens and they give each other a quick hug. "I'll see you later."

"Good luck."

He smiles on the outside but he is starting to get a little nervous.

**TBC**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Butterflies are starting to swarm in his stomach.

_What the hell am I nervous about?_

He opens the door into a nicely decorated reception area. Warm colors that make you feel relaxed. So they say. It has no effect of him. Sitting behind a desk is a thirty something woman with long blonde hair.

He introduces himself and she invites him to sit down and offers him a drink. He declines the drink.

"My name is Julia and if you need anything please let me know."

"Thank you Julia, I will."

Doctor Angela Sherman exits her office and extends her hand. Bobby stands up and accepts it. "Please come in."

He follows her and Julia, the receptionist, gives him a sweet smile.

She positions herself behind her desk and points to three places to sit.

"Please sit. Would you prefer I call you Robert or Bobby or……….how many other nicknames are there for Robert?"

He smiles, the butterflies are getting smaller. "Bobby is fine." He sits down in the chair closest to her desk. He shakes his head.

She asks. "What?"

"It's just that I'm forty-four years old and everybody I know still calls me Bobby. I guess if Billy Joel can get away with it so can I."

She smiles at him and he catches her eye and smiles back. Butterflies are getting even smaller. "You look like a Bobby."

"So Bobby. I know that it is very hard to just walk into an office of a complete stranger and spill your guts."

He laughs. Butterflies are almost gone.

"I know who you are and I know what happened. Now you have to tell yourself how this event has affected your life. I'm just here for you to bounce things off of."

His mind is spinning. Thoughts and feelings are going through his brain so quickly that he can't think of anything to say.

"You have a history with this woman, don't you?"

"Yes." He says as if he's proud of himself that he said something. "I have arrested her a few times for some horrible crimes and each time she has slipped through the system, every chance she gets she reminds me of that. It might not be a big deal to most people but when you know in your gut that someone is guilty…………well it bothers the shit out of me."

"Have you had contact with her since this has happened?"

"Yes, twice. The first time I saw her I thought I was going to throw up. Not that I was afraid………"

He gets up from the chair and starts to pace around the room. "I went to see her the other day. We have had some very intense conversations. About her past and mine. She loves to pick at you,……… me, especially about sensitive subjects. She tried to mess with my head that day, saying things she knows will piss me off and I lost my temper. I have never let her get to me like that before, she got a little scared I saw it in her face." He pauses. "I enjoyed that." He says almost with shame in his voice.

Bobby bounces from subject to subject but once he started talking he kept going. Angela does not interrupt she lets him talk. He sits down in the chair near the window. He tries to make eye contact with Angela but he has trouble, he does look up at her now and then.

"I have met quite a few people in my career that have been abducted and it is so easy for people to say oh it's good that you weren't hurt, not physically anyway, but when you're tied up to a bed for almost a week and you…………."

Angela asks. "What?"

He stands up and paces around the room suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. He looks at Angela. "She is a small woman maybe five foot three and weighs maybe 125 pounds. I'm a foot taller out weigh her by almost a hundred pounds but I was…………" He lowers his head. "I was totally helpless and dependent on this woman that I loathe. When I think about that I still get a pain in my stomach."

He turns to look out the window. "Nice view."

She smiles to herself and stays silent.

He suddenly turns around. Memories of those nine days are going through his mind so fast that he suddenly looks very tired. He sits down in the chair closest to the door.

"I had to ask her for everything, every goddamn thing. It was so fuckin' humiliating. She made me apologize to her for things that I had no control over."

"Why, why would anyone want to do that to another person? I don't understand." For the first time he raises his voice. "What the hell did she want from me?"

He looks to her for an answer. Angela gets up from her chair and sits on the edge of the desk. "Bobby you have to stop trying to figure out why. Why doesn't matter and unless she tells you to your face, you may never know."

He nods his head. "It's just that I always like to know why people do what they do. Could she hate me that much?" He pauses.

"Sometimes I think how she might have been if events in her childhood were different. She is a very attractive woman. But who I saw was the real Nicole a woman so obsessed with her hatred for men" He pauses and looks out the window. "She……………… scared the hell out of me."

**End of Session One**

His first session was on a Friday he makes an appointment for next Wednesday. He feels very comfortable talking to Angela.

He was right when he told Nicole about the changes in his life. He and Alex have been spending almost every night together. They meet in the city some nights for dinner and some nights she stays over, Alex has started to bring some of her clothes to his house.

He smiles every morning when he sees her. She wants him back at work with her. However, they also know that changes will have to be made, they rarely talk about that. She appreciates that he is willing to listen to her vent about her day.

Monday morning Bobby gets a phone call that he never thought would come.

He has been spending his mornings sitting outside on the deck reading the paper and drinking coffee. Alex was over last night and she has just left.

His cell phone rings. "Hello."

"Detective Goren, good morning."

"Good morning Mister Carver, how are you?"

"Fine thank you, how are you?'

"Much better, what can I do for you?"

"I have some news for you. This morning I had an early meeting with Nicole Wallace and her attorney." He pauses.

Bobby's heart starts to race.

_I didn't do anything wrong, I was the victim._

"She has decided not to go to trial, she has taken a plea. Twenty five years to life, with the possibility of parole after fifteen years."

Bobby is adding the number in his head.

"Detective?

"Yes sir, she'll be almost 55 years old before she can get out, if she lives that long. I can live with that."

"Glad to hear it. See you back soon?"

"Maybe in a couple of weeks. Thanks Mister Carver."

"Take care of yourself, Detective."

**Session Two**

He is much more relaxed this time but he still finds it hard to express himself. They start the session talking about the past few rainy days.

"There's not going to be a trial, Nicole took a plea."

"Are you alright with that?"

"I'm not sure. I would rather have gone to trial so everyone would know who she really is and what she did. But I'd have to be the one to tell them. And I didn't really want to do that."

"It's dark out there." He says as he looks out the window. He puts his hands in his pockets and lets out a sigh. "She would leave me alone in this little dark room for hours. As I laid there my mind would wander, about the stupidest things."

He walks away from the window and paces around the room. "She would leave the house, where she went I don't know. But when I heard her come back I was so grateful."

A look of disgust crosses his face as he rubs his unshaved face. "Damn I forgot to shave this morning."

He swallows hard. "But at the same time I was……..afraid of what her mood would be and want she might do. Jesus Christ how sick is that?"

"There is nothing wrong with that. People need people no matter how cruel they can be."

"A very close friend of mine said to me that I could read all the psychology books in the world about this but until it happens to you…. you don't know shit."

He goes back to the chair by the door and sits down. "I tried so hard."

"What did you try?"

He bends down his head.

"I was handcuffed to the bed and she was all over me." He starts to feel a little shy. Talking to suspects about their sexual experiences is easy but he has trouble talking about his own.

"Her touch was so sensual." He pauses almost sorry he started talking about it. Angela remains quiet.

"I didn't want her touching me. But I had no control……….she could do what ever she wanted."

He begins his pacing around the room. He stops at the window. "I tried to think……………..it felt good. I couldn't stop it I tried."

"She had no right to do that to you. Do you think it's different because you're a man?"

His voice is shaky. "Yeah I keep telling myself that."

He moves away from the window and starts to pace again. "I always thought I was stronger than that." He pauses. He wants to look at her but he can't.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of. It wasn't your fault."

"Yes I know. But I doubt many women get aroused when someone is …." He closes his eyes and shakes his head.

"Someone is what Bobby?"

"She got within inches of my face and when I looked up at her all I saw were her eyes. They were dark, cold eyes. All I thought was she's dead. There is no life inside. The only weapon I had was my mouth and as she got closer and closer to my face I knew that she wanted to kiss me and I blurted it out, I said don't kiss me. I don't why I said it?"

"She picked up the knife she used to cut my clothes and walked franticly around the room screaming I don't remember exactly what she was saying but all I kept thinking about was now I know how all her other victims must have felt. She makes them feel pleasure and then she destroys them."

"I was certain she was going to kill me, at first it crossed, my mind if that was her plan just do it now and get it over with. I didn't want to die. Not that way not by her."

"It has taken me awhile to realize that killing me would be too easy, she wanted to destroy me and she almost did. I almost lost everything. My friends, my job I even treated my Mom like crap."

"When I visited Nicole the other day I told her that my life would change for the better and it has."

He pauses and lets out a long breathe of air. "Alex. She was always there no matter how many times I tried to push her away... she came back."

**End of Session Two**

Alex has joined Mike and Carolyn on their most recent case, she likes working with them but she misses the pain in the ass that sits across from her. The phone rings and it startles her.

"Major Case, Detective Eames."

"Hey it's me."

"Hi me what 's going on?"

"Just thinking, how would you like to go away with me for the weekend?"

Without hesitation, she says. "I'm there. Where?"

"Anywhere you want." He pauses for a minute." Do you want to go someplace noisy or quiet?"

"Quiet, someplace quiet."

"Ok I'll pick you up Friday at…give me a time."

"You'll pick me up?"

"Yes, I do know how to drive, you know."

"I know, how about 3 o'clock."

"Ok I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bobby?"

"Yeah."

"What about tonight?"

"You're having dinner with your parents tonight, remember."

"Oh yeah, Jesus thanks for reminding me. Bobby how…"

He cuts her off. "No, no thanks."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure, bye Alex I love you."

"That's not fair." She hears him snickering on the other end of the phone. "Bye."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

They head out of the city a little after 4 PM; heading north is all she can tell. After about two hours on the road, they turn off the highway and drive through a little town. She gets a glimpse at the name. Williamsport. She shakes her head never heard of it. As they pass through the town Alex notices that the buildings are old but they are well maintained. A few blocks further down the road, he turns into a small two-lane road. Every three of four hundred feet, they pass a house, plenty of space between each home.

Bobby pulls into the driveway of a small ranch house. He turns off the engine. "Well you wanted quiet, you got it."

The front yard is well manicured; red and yellow rose bushes and a variety of different flowers decorate the front of the house.

She looks at him. "You own this? It's adorable."

He nods his head. "Well I don't know if adorable is the right word, but ok."

"Come on let's go inside." He hands her the keys. "Here, open the front door." She takes the keys as and he pops open the trunk to retrieve three bags, two for her and one for him, she unlocks the door.

She opens the door into a small but comfortable living room and from where she is standing, she can see the kitchen and directly in front of her is a large window covered with drapes. Bobby sets the bags down and closes the door.

"Open the drapes."

She tosses him the keys and then opens the drapes. "Oh it's beautiful." He walks behind her, reaches over, and unlocks the sliding door that leads out on a large deck. She leads the way onto the deck. She looks from side to side and then at him. "Please tell me one of those boats is yours?"

He hugs her from behind. "The middle one."

She glances around the yard again, off to her right is a hot tub. She points. "Is that what I think, I hope it is?"

He squeezes her tenderly and kisses her neck. "Yes it is."

"Can we use it, is it ready to go?"

"Yes and yes." I drove up yesterday and cleaned it out." He taps her shoulder lightly then points to his right. "Do you see those little white spots over there?"

She nods her head. "That's the town and when you want to go into town."

She cuts him off. "You take your boat. To use one of your favorite words, cool."

He steps back into the house and picks up the bags. "I also went to the store and bought some groceries, you know eggs, wine and beer."

She laughs. "And some pickles?"

He raises his eyebrows. "No. I bought whipped cream though."

"Not in a million years." He laughs as he turns to walk toward the bedroom thinking that she is behind him, he looks back.

"You gonna stand there all night?" Alex looks out onto the lake once more. "I wish I could, no streets, no cars or angry people or ugly buildings and no noise, it's so beautiful."

She stays behind for a minute or two. Then checks out the frig. She smiles. He actually did buy all the items he said plus bread, milk, cheese, bacon and juice. Mostly items to make breakfast for a couple of days.

"Bobby. Where are you?"

"In the bedroom." She walks down a little hallway and there are two bedrooms. One with two single beds and one with a queen sized bed. The room across the hall from where he is seems to have a feminine touch to it.

Alex stands in the doorway "How far is it?"

He looks up at her as he is taking some clothes out of the bag. "What?"

"Carmel Ridge."

He smiles. Before he answers Alex says. "I am a detective you know, the little touches around here suggest that a woman does stay here sometimes."

She walks into the room, picks up her bag and places it on the bed.

"Twenty minutes, she comes to stay here overnight if I can get up here on a Saturday. Unfortunately it is not as often as she would like."

He says nothing more about it and Alex does not ask any questions.

They finish unpacking and then change into shorts and t-shirts. Bobby turns on some music and then he opens a bottle of wine. "Come on." He says as he grabs two glasses. "Let's sit outside."

He sets the glasses down on a little table between two chaise lounges. He pours the wine and then sits down.

"How long have you owned this place?"

"Almost three years, my friends come up here more that I do. In the springs and summer they use the boat and fish and in the winter there is a ski resort about half an hour from here." He takes a sip of wine. "She does like to sit out here and look out over the water. Thinking I guess, about what I don't know, she never says."

They sit in silence for a few minutes. He sits up suddenly. It startles her. "Jesus. What?"

"If I sit out here much longer I'm gonna fall asleep."

She shrugs her shoulders. "So, go ahead, to be honest with you I wouldn't mind just sitting out here for a while."

She takes a sip of wine. "Do you know any of the people who live around here?"

"Yes. The Taylor's, " He points to the left, "They live here year round. They own the hardware store in town. The Darnels." He points to the right. "Only come up here in the spring and summer. Mrs. Darnel takes my mom into town with her sometimes to go shopping."

"That's very nice. You know the house and yard look similar to your house in Brooklyn, except that house is bigger."

"That's why I bought this one. It's similar and it makes her feel like she's home."

She reaches over and touches his hand. "You're very sweet you know that."

He nods his head. "Don't tell anyone."

She smiles. "Something I always wanted to ask you." She sits up in the lounge chair. "Who takes care of the yard, no offense Bobby but I can't picture you mowing the lawn and gardening."

He laughs. "None taken. Landscapers."

About forty-five minutes pass. Bobby drinks down the last of the wine in his glass. "I'm getting hungry, you?"

"Yeah."

"What do you feel like eating? Pasta, steak, chicken or fish?"

"I'm not sure, what do you want?"

"I haven't had lobster in a long time."

"Sounds good to me, do I have to change?"

"No, unless you want to."

They put sneakers on and walk down to the dock. The air is sweet and there is just a little breeze blowing. It only takes about 10 minutes to get to town. He docks the boat and they walk through the town. As they walk, she notices there is not much traffic. People walk past and greet them and some call him by name.

Every restaurant that they have gone to in the past few weeks the hostesses always know his name. Way up here is no different.

"Here we go." He points to the door of "Finnegan's Restaurant."

"Good evening." Says a tall attractive, 30 something, woman, she then recognizes him. "Hi Bobby. How are you?"

"Hi Robin, I'm fine, how are you doing?"

"Can't complain," She looks towards Alex and smiles. "Robin Tucker this is Alex Eames."

Robin extends her hand. "Nice to meet you Alex."

"Nice to meet you."

Robin holds her arm up and waves for them to follow. "Here you go." She hands them each a menu. "How's your Mom?"

"She's doing well thank you." Ever the gentlemen he holds the chair out for Alex.

"Can I get you a drink?"

He looks at Alex. "Alex."

"Wine."

"A bottle of Pinot Grigio."

"Claire will be your waitress, be right back with the wine."

Alex is staring at him. "What?" He says.

"No matter where we go, someone knows you."

"I'm a big friendly guy, people notice me." He smiles. "It's the one trait that I got from my Dad. He was like that, very friendly, maybe sometimes a little too friendly. But that's another story."

Robin returns with the wine. Minutes later Claire is there to take their order.

"Are you going to visit your Mom tomorrow?"

"Wasn't planning on it, why?"

"I'd like to meet her."

He picks up his glass. "No not now, not this weekend."

"Not many of your girlfriends have met her. Have they?"

He doesn't answer.

"Bobby, how many?"

Raising his voice, "None, alright, none." He looks around the room and a few people look over. He holds up his hand as he mouths the word sorry, they all let it go. He looks to her. "That word scares most people."

She takes a hold of his hand. "I'm not most people."

"I know. I know that."

"Alright I'll drop it for now."

"Thank you."

**Later That Evening**

After their delicious meal, he takes her for a ride around the lake. "What's the name of the lake?"

"Willow Lake."

"Willow Lake?"

"Yeah, take a look around the lake. Willow trees are everywhere." He looks at her. "I know, how original."

It only takes a half an hour but she loves every minute of it, the clean air the wind blowing through her hair, she feels free.

They get back to the house a little after 10:30.

"Is it too late to go in?"

"Go in where?"

"The hot tub."

"Why would you think it was too late?"

"Does it take long to set up?" He flips a switch out on the deck. "It's ready."

Alex exists the bathroom wearing an oversized t-shirt. "Bobby where are you?"

"Out here."

She walks out on to the deck and Bobby is in the hot tub with a snifter of brandy and a cigar. "Wow you look comfortable." She says.

He takes a long puff on the cigar. "Yes I am, come on in." After a sip of brandy, "I have to get one of these in Brooklyn."

"You. Coming to work everyday relaxed and calm, people will think something is wrong."

"Very funny, thanks partner."

"Oh." She says suddenly remembering something important. "Do you know what I found out?"

"Am I supposed to answer you?"

"No shhh. I found out that just because we are seeing each other outside of work we don't necessarily have to break up the partnership."

She expected more of a cheerful reaction from him. "I didn't know that." He takes a sip of brandy. "You know when I first thought about us seeing each other and maybe having to split up the partnership it bothered me. But the more I thought about it, it hit me." He looks up at her. "Do you really think that we should and can see each other everyday at work and then all night?"

He suddenly feels uncomfortable usually they come pretty close to agreeing on things but Alex is not saying anything.

She slowly shakes her head in agreement. "I agree with you."

"So. Are you going to come in? This was your idea. She stays still. He looks up. "What's the matter?" He looks closer. " Is that one of my t-shirts?"

She nods her head and whispers, "What if someone sees us?"

He looks around the yard. "Like who?"

"Your neighbors."

"Unless my neighbors are squirrels living in the trees, no one can see us. Come on, get in."

He takes a puff on the cigar. Alex is standing still with her arms crossed. "You pick the strangest times to get shy. Why didn't you put a swim suit on?"

"You didn't tell me to bring one."

Nodding his head, "Yes I did."

"No you didn't."

"Gees I'm sorry."

"Are you wearing one?"

"Yeah."

"Well take it off." He doesn't respond and he doesn't move.

"If you don't take it off I will."

He spreads his arms apart welcoming her in. "Go right ahead."

Quickly she removes the t-shirt and gets into the tub. She reaches down and to her surprise, he is not wearing a suit.

"Oh you bastard."

His laugh is sinister. "I got you in the tub."

She smiles warmly at him, "Want a cigar?" He says still laughing.

"No but I'll take some brandy."

The warm feel of the brandy goes through her body. "That tastes so good."

"Why are you whispering?"

"I don't know. It just seems like we should."

Bobby puts down his brandy snifter as he reaches for Alex.

His hands move beneath the water slowly stroking her.

She moves in close as he places his arm around her shoulder. He bends his head down and lightly kisses her lips as his hand cups her breast.

Alex lifts herself out of the tub and positions herself on his lap. He holds her by her waist as she moves closer to him. Their lips met and their kiss is long and deep.

As he kisses her neck, he whispers in her ear. "Do you want to go in the house?"

She shakes her head and whispers "No." As her hands are sliding down his body.

"Are you sure? I mean." He looks up. "The squirrels might be watching. She shakes her head and giggles as she moves the tip of her tongue around his lips.

Bobby's hands slide up to her breasts. She lays her hands on his shoulder as he moves forward taking one nipple between his lips drawing it in deeply making her moan. He lays kisses between her breasts as he leaves her nipple erect and wet from his tongue. He licks and kisses her between her breasts before he takes control of the other one.

Alex moves her hand down between her legs and touches him gently. "Oh what's this?" She says with a smile.

"You keep doing that to me."

He reaches behind and grabs the foil wrapper. She quickly takes it out of his hand. She unwraps it and slides it on him as she glides her fingers from the head down and back again. He lets out a low moan as his body tightens.

He moves his hand down between his legs to position himself to enter her. She takes a hold of his hand. "I'll do it."

Alex moves up and takes control as she guides him into her.

They hold each other's hands as she raises herself up and down, slowly at first then faster and faster with each movement. Bobby says in a low voice "We're making waves."

Their moans are soft and the night air sends shivers through their bodies.

She throws her head back and lets go of his hands as she feels the first wave of pleasure. She digs her nails into his shoulders as she sits up and lets out a moan that is hardly be heard through the sound of the jets in the tub and the crickets in the night.

Alex relaxes her body and moves in closer. She covers her mouth with his as Bobby moves his hands slowly up her body.

He grabs her by the waist moving her up and down. He lifts her higher and faster each time as he succumbs to the wave of ecstasy surging through his body. He picks her up one last time and growls, "Oh baby." as he climaxes.

She falls into him and they hold each other. "If I haven't said it today I'll say it now. I love you."

She grabs him by the back of the neck and kisses him. "You've said it today but I never tire of hearing it." She lays her head down on his shoulder. "I love you Bobby, you've made me so happy." He squeezes her gently.

She sits up. "Baby, you forgot my name again."

"Does that bother you?"

"No silly."

He looks away from her as he picks up his snifter of brandy. "You should be glad I didn't call you Eames."

She pokes him in the side. "Hey that hurts."

He looks down at her. "It's going to be cold when we get out of here." He turns around to get the t-shirt she wore but it is wet. "Why didn't you bring a robe with you?"

"I did."

"Then why didn't you put it on?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know."

"I'll get your robe, where is it?"

"It's hanging on your bathroom door."

**Early The Next Morning**

Alex wakes up and makes her way to the bathroom. At first, she thinks she is at Bobby's house in Brooklyn and then she remembers where she is and where the bathroom is.

As she gets back into the bed he wakes up very suddenly, she can hear him gasp. There is soft light coming through the window and she can see the look on his face as he turns towards her.

He shakes his head as if suddenly remembered something.

"Bobby, what's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit tell me what's wrong."

"I forgot where I was for a second."

"And."

"What? No and."

"Talk to me Bobby."

He sighs and sits up in the bed. He looks down.

"I thought you were Nicole, I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I wouldn't want someone mistaken me for Nicole if I were you."

She smiles and holds his hand. "It's alright." She pauses. "Did she sleep with you?"

He nods his head. "The key word is sleep. One night she got into the bed with me. Man, I had forgotten all about that. She didn't do anything but I wasn't able to sleep thinking that she would."

He raises her hand to his mouth and kisses it. "You must be so tired of all this shit? I know I am."

She hesitates, shaking her head. "Yeah, you're right I am."

He looks at her, shakes his head, and laughs.

"What, you think I'm going to lie."

"You, never."

His voice is stern and loud. "Goddamnit, I am never going to get the bitch out of my head. Am I?"

"Sure you will. It may take time but new memories will come along and take its place."

He looks down at her and she lays her head on his chest. "New memories."

She gives him a tight squeeze. "Yes, me. I've been with you since the beginning of this and I'll be here till the end. Face it Bobby, you're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere."

They don't speak again as they hold each other. They both fall back to sleep.

**TBC**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Alex is in the bedroom packing her clothes. They have decided to leave for the city before noon. Bobby walks into the room and speaks from the doorway. "Ready?"

With not much enthusiasm, "Yeah I'm ready." She closes up the bag. "So when are we coming back here?"

"Soon, real soon. I promise."

"Remember in the next week or two I want to meet your Mom."

He walks over to the bed and picks up the bags. "Bobby. Did you hear me?"

"Yes I heard you. We'll talk about that later."

"Even if we come up on Saturday she can stay here with us."

"No. That's not a good idea."

"Why? Why can't she stay here?"

He turns to face her as he walks toward the door. "Do you want to share a room with my Mom?"

"You're kidding."

"No."

She walks past him. "My Mom's the same way."

He grabs the other bag and follows her down the hall. He sets down the bags and checks the house to make sure every thing is secure.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"No. I'm ready. It's time to get back to work."

After he drops her off at her apartment he drives back to Brooklyn.

**One Police Plaza**

Bobby has been back to work for over a week and he hasn't felt this good in a long time. On his first day back, the reception from his fellow detectives was warm and friendly.

Alex is thrilled to have him back, sitting across from her. It has been over two months since that afternoon.

Alex and Bobby are discussing their latest case. "Well if we want to talk with Hamilton again we'd better leave now. You have an appointment with Angela this afternoon. You haven't missed a session yet and you're not going to miss this one."

"Alright. I want to read over his financial statement again. Damn!"

"What?"

"I can't find it. I thought I had it right here."

"I think you left them in there." She says as she points to one of the side offices.

"Probably. I'll be right back."

Less than a minute after he leaves his desk Deakins walks over to Alex. "Where's Bobby?"

_Uh-oh he's calling him Bobby_.

"Right behind you. What's wrong?" Deakins ignores her question.

Bobby returns papers in hand and nods to his CO. He sits down and begins looking through the papers. Deakins stands still next to his detective's desk. Bobby looks up at him several times. "You look like you have something on your mind."

He nods. "Yes. I need to speak to you." He looks toward Alex. "This concerns you also. Come into my office." She follows behind the men and then she grabs Bobby's arm. Whispering, "What did you do?"

He shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. "Nothing."

They enter the office and he asks Bobby to please close the door. "Please sit." He hesitates. "Please Bobby sit down."

He sits but leans forward.

"I received a call this morning………………..Oh shit……….It was about Nicole."

He starts fidgeting with items on his desk. Alex's patience is shot. "Jesus Captain please tell us!"

"Nicole is…………….. pregnant…………….and she's claiming." Looking at Bobby, "That you're the father."

An eerie silence goes through the room.

Then a nervous chuckle comes from him. He shakes his head. "I don't believe this. This can't be happening." Alex looks over at him. She stands up and with anger in her voice. "You told me that when she slept with you that all you did was sleep, you lied to me."

When he stands up being almost a foot taller, she steps back. "I didn't lie to you that is what happened."

"Well then how do you explain this?" He turns and opens the door to leave. "Bobby wait." She grabs his arm. "I'm sorry."

He lets go of the doorknob and turns back around. The Captain nods his head. "Goddamnit. I was right. You two are having an affair." They look at the Captain and then each other. Neither agrees nor disagrees with him.

"Damn it." He rubs the back of his neck. Looking from Alex to Deakins, "That woman was put on this earth for the sole purpose to torture me. Now she will have a hold on me for the rest of my life?" He pauses as he looks out the window.

He turns around quickly to face them. "She'll have to get rid of it. That's all there is to it." He looks at Deakins. "I can do that can't I? I mean force her to get rid of it."

Neither answers him they just give him an _I don't_ _think so_ look.

Raising his voice, "Damnit that's not fair. Maybe I can talk her into it."

Deakins sits down on the edge of his desk. "You're talking crazy Bobby. Think about what you're saying."

"I know. I know." He rubs his face. "I thought I was rid of her." He takes a deep breath as he suddenly gets up from the chair. "I need to talk to her." He opens the doors quickly and it hits the wall. Alex calls to him. "Bobby wait, I'll come with you."

He turns suddenly raising his voice. Which causes everyone to look at him? "No! Stay here."

"Bobby!"

"I said no goddamnit!" She is motionless as he walks toward the elevator. He stops suddenly, turns around, and walks back to her. He grabs her hands. "I'm sorry. Alex I'm so sorry."

She reaches up and touches his face. "I understand and I'm coming with you. Let's go." He takes her hand and they leave the station.

Nicole's' been transferred to a prison in New Jersey. It is a forty-five minute to drive; Bobby gets there in half an hour.

Bobby is waiting for her in a private visiting room as Alex waits out in the hall. Nicole does not acknowledge Alex's presence.

When Nicole enters the room, he is pacing. He looks toward her and walks closer as her handcuffs are removed and she sits down.

"Are you going to get rid of it?"

"It. I'm surprised at you Bobby, calling your child it."

"Give me a fuckin' break."

He sits down and runs his fingers through his hair. "When. When did it happen?" He slams his fist on the table. His first thought is to grab her and shake her but he resists. "Tell me. I have a right to know."

She smiles at him and tries to touch his hand. He quickly moves his hand away. "Don't, don't smile like that and don't touch me. You're evil you know that?"

He pushes his chair away from the table. "You're positive about this, aren't you?"

"Yes. Take a DNA test to ease that suspicious mind of yours Bobby."

"Oh I will you can count on that. However, you haven't answered my question. When?" She purposes looks away from him refusing to answer.

His eyes open wide as he suddenly remembers that night of crazy dreams about his high school math teacher. Under his breath, he says. "Holy shit."

_How many more times could she have?……….Oh my God_.

He starts to breath heavy as he grabs her hand and pulls her toward him. "You bitch! You sick bitch!"

He gets up suddenly from the chair and it falls over. Walking to the door, "I got to get out of here. Damn you!" He stops and looks at her. "Go to hell Nicole and take that little bastard with you." He opens the door and leaves.

He walks past Alex as if he has forgotten that she is there. "Bobby." Alex calls to him. He keeps walking. She hurriedly follows him. "Bobby slow down." He stops walking waiting for her to catch up. He grabs her hand and leads her out the door.

The silence in the car on the ride home is nerve wracking. Alex wants to ask him questions but she decides that now is not the time. "I'm going home." He says. "I'll drop you off at the station."

"I'll be over later." She waits for a response. "Bobby."

"Yeah I heard you, I'd like that." She kisses his cheek.

"Alex." Looking straight ahead as he grabs a tight hold on the stirring wheel. "I'm sorry about this. I had no idea." She reaches over and touches his arm. "This isn't your fault."

He looks at her. "I know that. I've already comes to terms with that."

**Angela's Office **

"What do you think she wants from you?"

"I don't know."

"No Bobby. No more, I don't know." She walks toward him and sits in the chair next to him. "I want you to do something for me?"

Very unenthusiastically, "What?"

"I want you to take yourself out of this and look at it from the outside. Come on Bobby. Open your eyes and tell me what do you see?"

"A very sick woman who does whatever she wants to get whatever she thinks she needs."

"Exactly. I'll ask you again. What do you think she wants from you?"

"To be a part of my life."

"Why?"

He hesitates. "Why Bobby?" Say it. Why?"

Because in her sick and demented way………….she loves me."

**TBC**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Later That Evening**

When he answers the door, she is pleased to see that he hasn't been drinking. He just looks so sad. "I brought some dinner, eggplant parm. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah I could eat. Thanks." He takes the bags from her and sets them down on the kitchen table. He is very quiet as they set the table. Before she sits down, Alex opens the frig and looks inside, "Beer or soda?" She looks over her shoulder. A little louder she says, Bobby, beer or soda?"

"Soda's good. Thanks."

They sit down to eat. He takes a few bites of food then he places his fork down as he sits back in the chair. "What am I going to do? I don't know what to do?"

Alex swallows her food quickly. "What do you want to do?"

He shakes his head and sighs. "Find a big black hole and jump in."

She takes a hold of his hand and smiles as he exhales deeply. He leans forward in the chair. "What about you?" He asks pointing his finger in her direction. "Why aren't you heading for the door?"

"You think I just fell in love with you a couple of weeks ago?"

Not looking in her direction he says in a whisper. "It's been about a year for me."

"Oh, yeah." She smiles. "When, tell me."

"I can't tell you the exact day but your sister had just e-mailed you some pictures of Matthew and you called me over to look at them. I looked at the photos then I sat back down and you continued to look and the smile on your face and the love in your eyes for that little boy was so………..you looked so beautiful. I wanted to touch you but I couldn't. You weren't Eames anymore you were Alex."

She leans over and kisses his cheek. "I know when I say this you get shy but you are so sweet and I love you." He smiles at her and kisses her cheek. They have forgotten all about Nicole for a while.

He takes a few more mouthfuls. "It's your turn."

"Do you remember that guy who donated his body parts?"

"Oh man." Nodding his head as he chews, "Yeah I remember."

"Talk about Looney tunes, anyway, when we were in the hospital talking to his first victim's husband. His little boy was acting up and his father couldn't control him. You casually got up grabbed a few paper cups put them down on the floor and the kid entertained himself so we could talk. It's what a father would do and it wasn't you kid. You looked so sweet and I looked at you so differently that day and every day since then."

He touches her cheek and lightly kisses her lips. "I love you so much. I never thought I would ever be this happy."

They continue to eat in a comfortable silence.

Alex breaks the silence "Why is it that way? People who want children can't have them and people who don't get them." He gives her a questionable look but says nothing.

They finish their meal and clean up the kitchen. "You staying tonight?"

"Yes. I'm too tired to drive." Alex changes her clothes and sits on the couch she grabs the TV remote and clicks.

He sits down next to her. She starts watching CSI. He quickly grabs the remote from her hand. "Please not a cop show."

"I like this show."

"Yeah ever CSI I know interrogates suspects. Come on."

"Oh it's just a TV show. Give it back." She waves her hand at him.

"Here."

"Thank you. I'll change it."

After about ten minutes, she nudges him. "What are you thinking about?"

"Something I said to her before I left this afternoon. For some reason it's bothering me."

She clicks off the TV. "What could you possibly have said to that bitch that would bother you?"

"I told her to go hell and take that little bastard with her. I was so angry and the words just came out. I didn't really mean it. It's not the baby's fault. Is it?"

"Don't you dare feel guilty about saying that, do you hear me, no one would ever think that you could or would harm a baby?"

A soft chuckle comes from him. "You know I always wanted to have a kid. But I never thought that its Mom would be the devil."

"We know how despicable Nicole is maybe it's not your child. I can imagine her getting off watching us go through hell for a few weeks."

"I just remembered something." He stands up and paces around the room. "Every other day or so she would live the house, she was gone for at least an hour or two maybe she was seeing someone."

**The Next Day**

Bobby hires his friend and lawyer Kenneth Oliver to handle any more dealings with Nicole. His first task is to set up a DNA test. A DNA test can be performed on a pregnant woman, however the woman must be 10 weeks pregnant. The results take 7 to 10 days. At the time of discovery, Nicole is 8 weeks along.

**Sunday, Early Afternoon**

They pull into the Carmel Ridge Center parking lot. "Wow this is really pretty."

"Is it? I don't notice it anymore."

He enters the center her hand in his. The receptionist greets him and he introduces Alex. He passes a nurse whom he has known for over five years. "Eve Jenkins, Alex Eames."

"Nice to meet you Eve."

She looks at Bobby. "You're partner, Alex."

"Yes."

"Well we've all heard a lot about you. It's very nice to meet you Alex."

Bobby taps Eve's shoulder. "What's the prognosis today?"

"She's a little tired, but not from her medication she's had a very busy weekend. The family of one of the residents' threw a birthday party for their son and everyone was invited. I didn't know your Mom was such a good dancer."

He smiles. "Like mother like son." Alex says smiling.

"Have a good visit Bobby, nice to meet you Alex, see you soon."

"Bye Eve. Thanks.

Photos do not do this woman justice. She is not as tall as Alex thought she would be. Her hair is gray but her face is very smooth, she looks younger than her seventy years.

Frances Goren is sitting in a chair with a book on her lap, her eyes are closed and she opens them when she hears the knock on the door. "Hey, Mom."

"Hi, Bobby." She looks past her son and smiles. "Hi, Alex."

Alex extends her hand and Frances stands up. "It's very nice to finally meet you."

"You also. I understand that my son has a tendency to drive you crazy."

"That's an understatement."

"Hey I'm standing right here." They both look at him and smile. He sits down.

Frances and Alex talked for almost an hour. Bobby barely says a word. Alex talks about her family and Frances, to her surprised inquired about her nephew, Matthew. She told her that she thought that was one of the most unselfish and beautiful gifts one sister could give to another.

"Mom." Bobby finally gets a word in. "Are you up to going out for lunch?"

"Yes. I am. That would be lovely. Give me a minute to change."

She grabs a dress from the closet and goes into the bathroom to change.

Alex looks over at him he has a look on his face that she hasn't seen for a few weeks. He looks very calm and contended. "Hey."

"What?"

She links her arm in his. "I'm glad I came here today. She's a very sweet woman."

He looks down at her and pulls her closer. "Thanks. I haven't seen her that happy in a long time."

**Back To The City, Back to Reality**

**One Police Plaza**

The results of the DNA test are due today.

Bobby's cell phone rings and he checks the number before answering. Alex looks up.

"It's Kenny." He exhales than answers the call. "Goren."

"Hey Bobby, it's Kenny. I just got the results in. I have the envelope in my hands. When can you come in?"

"Forget that open the envelope."

"_Are you sure?" _

"Yes I'm sure."

"_There is 99.99 percent chance that you are the father." Kenny pauses waiting for his friend to say something. "I'm sorry man, are you alright?"_

"It's cool, thanks for calling Kenny, talk to you soon. Bye."

**Later That Evening**

Alex hands him a glass of wine. "Maybe we're wracking are brains for nothing and she'll terminate the pregnancy.

He has to laugh. "No. This is Nicole we're talking about, She'll have this baby. So she'll have a hold on me for the rest of my life."

"File for custody." Alex says very nonchalantly. He almost spits the wine out. "What?"

"File for custody?"

"Yes. You have every right to get custody of that baby." He stares at her as Alex casually sips her wine. She swallows.

"You want to raise Nicole's baby?"

"No. Not Nicole's baby, your baby, our baby."

"I'm not sure that I could look at this baby and forget who its mother is."

"Why not think of it as the one and only good thing that she ever did in her whole life."

"You're something you know that?"

**One Police Plaza**

"Bobby what are you doing here?"

"I work here."

"It's after five you'll be late for your appointment with Angela."

"I cancelled it for today."

"What? Why in the hell would you do that?"

"I'm not in the mood today."

"Not in the mood, what the hell does that mean?"

He stands up. "That means I don't want to talk about it. Now drop it. Ok."

She exhales as he walks past her.

**Later That Night**

"Do you think that was her plan?"

"I don't know. Probably."

"I just wish that one time in her life, Bobby, she could be honest and tell you the truth."

"Never. Nothing she likes better than having leverage on people."

"I like the fact that you are able to talk about this but you're missing one important point."

"Oh yeah. What's that?"

"You tell me."

Silence.

Alex takes a hold of his hand. "You have to say it. You might not remember but you know what she did."

For a second Alex thought that she had gotten through. Bobby suddenly gets up and leaves the room. She calls to him. "Bobby you have to face it"

**Later In the Week**

Bobby has not meet with Angela for three weeks. Alex was determined that he not miss another appointment she drives him there. He knew he was beat and he knew he had to go.

**Angela's Office**

"Bobby do you think that you'll say one word to me this afternoon. I know you're thinking about something, "Tell me what it is?"

"Nothing important."

"Bullshit."

He looks up at her in surprise. "It's your baby isn't it?"

He nods. "Yeah it's mine. I don't want it and I don't want anything to do with it."

"You're a terrible liar Bobby."

"I feel split in two. I think I would make a good Dad. However, this isn't the way it should be. This is wrong and in the law, I have absolutely no power what so ever to decide the fate of this child. He pauses to pour a glass of water.

"She used me." He stands up and starts to pace. Angela knows that when he starts to pace he usually comes to the point of what is on his mine. He turns toward the window. "I'll bet that she was taking fertility pills so she'd have a better chance at getting pregnant."

He puts his hands on the ledge of the window and bends down. "I want to remember but I don't. Fuck!" He exhales. "I have never hated anyone in my life. Never! But her." He turns to face Angela. "I could have killed her up there but I didn't. Christ I couldn't even treat her badly by denying her food. Goddamnit I'm a fucking whimp."

"No you're not. It takes a stronger person not to kill than to kill you know that." She can see tears start to fill in his eyes.

He doesn't respond he just nods his head. He turns back to the window and wipes his face. "The building is gone that was there last week. Did someone steal it?"

She laughs as she gets up to look. "I didn't even notice." She leaves him at the window and sits at her desk.

He stays quiet for a minute or two. Trying very hard to compose himself. Angela won't even offer him a tissue she stays in her chair.

"She took advantage of me. She was able to do whatever she wanted. She has no remorse for what she did to me."

He puts his hands on the back of his neck. "Oh God!" He starts to move back and forth. "She raped me! Goddamn her…… FUCK!" He steps back and with every ounce of strength he has, he hits the window. The sound startles Angela. She looks up as the window shatters.

He falls to his knees with his arms crossed. Angela walks over to him and grabs him by the shoulders. With his right hand, he grabs her arm. He looks up at her. "I think I broke my hand." She holds on to him as he stands up.

"That's a double paned window."

He looks at the big hole in the window and then at her. "Not anymore. Sorry."

"It's alright. It's just a window." She pats him on the back. "I'll send you the bill tomorrow."

He smiles as he sits down in the chair. "Well the knot in my stomach is gone. But my hand is killing me."

"I think you need a doctor and you shouldn't drive. Maybe you should call someone to take you."

"Alex dropped me off. She likes to shop in the stores in the neighborhood." Bobby checks his watch. "She's probably on her way up now."

Angela opens the door and Alex is just sitting down. Angela walks over to her. "Hi. You must be Alex. I'm Angela." She extends her hand. Alex stands up "Nice to meet you Angela."

She sees him slowly walk out of the room holding his hand. "What the hell?

"He was able to deal with some very important issues today but he put a hole through my window."

"Jesus Bobby." She walks over to him. "Are you alright? Does it hurt?"

"You could say that. I think it's broken."

Bobby's hand is defiantly broken. A cast on his hand and a few pain pills later the pain is gone and he's asleep.

**Early The Next Morning**

He wakes about three am and Alex is sitting up in bed reading a book. He tries to focus his eyes to see the time. "How come you're still awake?"

"I woke up about an hour ago and I couldn't fall back to sleep."

He points to his end table. "Take one of my pills. You'll sleep."

She smiles and caresses his cheek. "Is your hand hurting?"

"It's throbbing a little. When can I take another pill?"

Her hands her the bottle, "It says every four hours you took the last one about eleven." She opens the bottle. "Here you go, take two more, I'll get some water."

He sits up very slowly. "I have water here." He takes the pills. "What are you reading?"

She shows him the cover. "Hard Truth by Mariah Stewart. What's it about?"

"It's a murder mystery."

"You're a detective and you're reading a murder mystery?"

"Yeah. I like them. The story within the story is good."

He just nods his head. "So are you going to tell me why you really can't sleep?"

"Let's just say it's been a hell of a week."

"I know, I am so sorry about all of this."

"Bobby I know you are but none of this is your fault."

"Whose fault is it?"

Alex looks at him as if he's lost her mind. "What?"

"You say it's not my fault but that's all you ever say. Tell me exactly what you think of all this?"

"Not now."

"I don't want to debate with you, I'm too tired. But there is one thing I will say." He lies back down in the bed, "Who's avoiding the issue this time? It's not me."

**TBC**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

Bobby's sleep was drug induced but it was restful, Alex however was up half the night. When he wakes, he notices that her eyes are open and she is lying in bed staring at the ceiling.

"Did you sleep at all?"

"Somewhat." She answers him but continues to look up. "How does your hand feel?"

"It's starting to hurt." She slowly moves her head in his direction. He notices her staring at him. "What?"

"I still can't believe you did that." She sits up in the bed. "Have you ever done that before?"

Without hesitation, he says. "When I was younger I did it a couple of times." He pauses. "Do you want to know something?"

"What?"

"It felt damn good. Well not the broken hand part but……." She cuts him off. "Putting your hand through a window felt good?"

"You're making too big a deal of this."

"And you're taking it too lightly."

"Jesus, it was just a window." He slowly sits up in the bed. "She's lucky I didn't do that to her face." He reaches for the glass of water on his nightstand. "You know if I would have killed her up there we wouldn't be going through this shit now." He takes a drink.

She nods her head in agreement. "You're right we wouldn't be going through this shit now because you'd be in jail. Come on Detective Goren you know damn well that you were in control of the situation when we got there. You would have been arrested for her murder."

"Yeah. Yeah. Well one can dream."

With not much enthusiasm, Alex pulls off the covers. "Well I better get up or I'll be late. Make sure you call the captain later and tell him what's going on."

"I will."

She gets out of the bed. "Do you want me to make you something to eat before I go?"

"No I'll get something later. Take your shower. I think I'll just lay here for a while. Those pills make me tired."

She finishes her shower and returns to the bedroom. Usually he would tease her as she changes her clothes but he is half asleep.

"Bobby."

"Yeah," He says as he looks up.

"I'm leaving make sure you eat something before you take anymore pills."

She leans down and kisses his cheek. "I'll call you later."

**One Police Plaza**

Alex sits at her desk staring at the phone. The Captain startles her. "Logan and Barek are free to help you on the Cutler case." She doesn't look up. "Alex, did you hear me?"

"Yes Captain I heard you. I'll brief them on it right away."

They spend the day interviewing witnesses and one suspect, Jane Cutler. In the afternoon they present enough evidence for the go ahead to arrest Misses Jane Cutler in the murder of her husband.

Misses Cutler is booked and Alex returns to her desk. She starts staring at the phone again. She picks it up and dials the number.

"_Hello_."

"Hello. My name is Alex Eames and I was wondering if I could please speak with Dr. Sherman."

"_Please hold."_

A minute and a half passes. "_Good afternoon Alex. How are you?"_

"I'm fine thank you. I was wondering if you could find some time in your schedule……..I would like to talk to you."

"_Hold on please while I check my calendar."_ Alex can hear pages being turned.

_"I have an opening on Friday at 4."_

"That would be great thank you."

"_You're welcome Alex. See you Friday. Goodbye."_

"Goodbye Doctor."

**Later that Evening**

She finds him lying on the couch asleep. "Bobby."

He moves slowly and then he opens his eyes. "Hey. What time is it?"

"A little after six, are you hungry?'"

"I'm starved."

"You told me that you ate before."

"I did but that was a while ago." He sits up. "Before you go in the kitchen………… it's a little messy. Sorry but it's hard to clean dishes with one hand." He turns his head away speaking out of the side of his mouth. "It's not that easy to pee either."

"I really didn't need to know that." She smiles at him. "What are you in the mood for?" She looks at him as he smiles and raises his eyebrows. "So what else is new? I meant food."

He laughs. "Anything I don't care."

"I'll be right back. I want to change my clothes."

As Alex returns downstairs, Bobby is watching the news. "Alex, Cutler's wife is on TV."

They listen as she denies the charges that she murdered her husband. "You arrested her today?"

"Yes."

He clicks off the TV. "Why didn't you tell me when you called **five **times today?"

"I called because I was worried about you. Not because of a stupid ass case." She leaves the room and goes to the kitchen. "Fine tomorrow I won't call at all, ok."

_One of these days I'm going to learn to keep my big mouth shut_.

He walks into the kitchen. She is noisily cleaning the sink out. "You're gonna break something."

She ignores him. She suddenly stops and puts her hands up to her face. He stands behind her and grabs her hand. "Alex, I'm sorry that was an insensitive thing to say." She turns around and gives him a hug as she starts to cry.

He kisses the top of her head. "Talk to me, please."

She lifts her head. "I called Angela this afternoon. I made an appointment to see her this Friday."

"I'll bet when you started this relationship you didn't think you'd need therapy."

She pushes away from him. "I hope it's the pills that are making you talk so goddamn stupid."

"Gees get a sense of humor will ya?"

"Go to hell." She says as she walks out of the room.

"I'm already there."

She stops and turns to face him. "What? What did you say?"

"Nothing, I didn't say anything."

"If anyone is in hell it's me." She goes up the stairs and slams the bedroom door.

"Damn." He exhales. "How come women always get to slam doors?" He walks back to the kitchen. "I guess I'm stuck cleaning up this shit." It takes awhile but he manages to clean up the mess.

"Weird. This is my house and I can't even go into my own bedroom." He sits down on the couch. "She's right I am talking stupid. And I'm hungry."

She cries for about thirty minutes, not sure as to why. She goes back down stairs and he is half asleep on the couch. She sits down next to him. He gets startled. "Hi."

She grabs his hand. "Hi."

"Alex I'm sorry."

"So am I."

"Now can you tell me exactly what you think of all this?"

She shakes her head. "I'm not sure. I have so many thoughts going through my head and I can't seem to get a handle on any of them."

**Angela's Office Friday Afternoon**

"Alex, how are you? Please come in."

Alex follows Angela into her office. "Well I see you replaced the window."

Angela chuckles. "Please sit." She extends her arms. "Anywhere. Anywhere you feel comfortable."

Alex sits in the chair closest to the window. Angela sits down at her desk. "I was wondering if you were going to call me."

"I'm not sure where to start so I think I'll start with something that Bobby has asked me more than once. Exactly what do you think of all this?" She shakes her head. "Even now I can't put a handle on it. He's right I am avoiding the issue."

"It was a hard phone call for you to make, wasn't it?"

"Yes it was." She pauses for a moment. She speaks in a monotone voice. "I have not faced this situation the right way I should be angry as hell and I'm not. Maybe I am and I'm not sure how to deal with this. Jesus I'm not making any sense at all, am I?"

"Yes. Yes you are."

She looks at the window. "Ever since I have know him there have not been too many times where he had to be physical with people. If they start it he'll finish it but…………." She points toward the window. "That scares me."

"Why? What does it make you think of?"

"I'm not sure. But that's not a normal response to anger is it?"

"No. No it's not."

"When I asked him about it, he was so casual. He just blew it off."

"Alex has he hit you?"

She just shakes her head as she looks at Angela. "No."

"Do you fear that he might?"

"That thought never…………..I don't know………..Maybe."

**TBC**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Angela's Office**

With more confidence in her voice, Alex stands up as she says. "No. I don't think he would ever do that to me, or anyone else." She looks Angela right in the eye. "I'm sure."

Angela nods her head and smiles.

Alex continues to stand. "If you take this situation and look at it straight on, it seems to be all on him but it's not, that woman, woman." She sneers. "That's a laugh. She has not only done this despicable thing to him she has done it to us. She doesn't deserve to have his child. He's too good for her."

Alex starts to walk around the office. "We have already discussed getting custody of the baby. I brought it up."

"That was a very unselfish thing for you to do."

"I was trying to be supportive. Bobby said something to me when I brought it up. I don't think I'd be able to look at this child and forget who its mother is."

Angela stays quiet.

"I told him look at it as the one and only good thing she has ever done in her life." Alex sits in the chair closest to the door. Tears start to fill her eyes. She shakes her head. "I don't want that baby in my house."

Alex grabs some tissues. "My God what a terrible thing to say but that's the way I feel. It has has nothing to do with the baby. Its' not the baby's fault and it is his child. I am so damn confused I don't know what I think."

"Yes you do."

"It's just a sweet and innocent life that has been brought to be because of a woman's sick and demented way of getting the attention of a man that she will never ever have." Alex pulls out three more tissues. "I think I'll need another box."

"I have plenty." Angela opens a closet door and puts a new box on the desk. "Here you go."

"Thanks." Alex sits and tries to compose her self. "In a way I understand her. If I ever told him that I felt sorry for her, he would probably laugh at me. If anyone is going to have his baby, it should be me. God that sounds so petty and selfish."

"Not if that's the way you feel. Have you discussed having a child?"

"No." She says sternly. "And now that this has happened I doubt we ever will. After all we're not in our twenties." She pauses "Or thirties." Alex snickers and shakes her head. .

"She may have taken the one chance in my life to have my own child." Alex tries but she can't stop the tears. She grabs more tissues. The tears slowly start to subside but now her angry is building.

"Goddamn, that bitch! I fucking hate her. I have never hated anyone in my life, but her, oh God." She wipes her eyes as she exhales. She starts to calm down.

"When Bobby went to talk to her a few weeks ago. I went with him. I was sitting on a bench in the hallway outside the visitor's room when she arrived. As she walked toward me she had the nerve to look at me with contempt." She pauses then looks at Angela. "Can you believe that? What gall."

"Have you talked to Bobby about any of this?"

"No. I haven't. I can handle this by myself………No I can't. No one can."

"Alex has your relationship with Bobby always been that you are afraid to tell him what and how you are feeling?"

She chuckles to herself. "No. Even before we started a relationship outside of work I have always been open and honest with him."

"Why have you stopped?"

"I've been trying to make it easier for him."

"Supporting him is one thing. Just saying things to him to make it easier won't help. You're giving him the answers that you think he wants to hear. You have to be honest with him and yourself. My advice to you is don't let these feelings fester. You have to tell him how you feel. I haven't known him a long time but he seems to me to be an honest and reasonable man. Talk to him."

**Later That Night**

Alex arrives at Bobby's house a little after 7 pm. "Bobby?"

"In here." He says as he walks out of the kitchen. "Well. How did it go?"

She walks toward him. "I'm glad I went. I feel so much better."

"You've been crying?" He touches her cheek.

"Yes. Almost all the way home but it's alright." She grabs his hand.

"We need to talk." She leads him to the couch and then they sit.

"I'm not sure where to start." She says.

"The window?" He says shyly.

"Oh. Yeah. The window that scared the hell out of me."

"It scared me too. You asked if I had ever done that before and I told you I had. Punching a few walls but this……… I have never been that angry in my life. If I wasn't close to the window I swear I might have thrown a chair through it."

"Like you did in Maryland." He nods his head. Alex rubs his back. "That also had to do with her."

"Not that it's an excuse but I was drunk that time." He pauses. "I know it was an immature and reckless thing to do. I didn't mean to scare you. I am so sorry for that. I would never ever want to do anything that would make you afraid of ………….."

She cuts him off. "I could never be afraid of you. I know you better than any person on this planet does. But I have to admit that for a second I tangled with the thought that you could." She turns her head away. "Hit me." She grabs his arm. "I'm sorry but it crossed my mind."

"What are you sorry for? Oh, man. Why didn't you say something before?"

She touches his face. "Then I remembered who you were and the kind of man you are and I knew that you could never, ever do that to me, or anyone else."

She has seen him angry, happy and sad but what she sees now is a look of total disappointment. "Don't. Don't look that way."

"You're right. This is about you not me."

"No, Bobby. This is about us. It's not just you and me anymore it's us. We both know who the enemy is and we'll have to deal with her together. Face it. You're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere. I love you more than anything in this world."

The disappointed look has given way to a smile that light up his eyes. Alex smiles and her eyes start to tear. "I haven't seen you smile in almost a month."

He kisses her lightly and unconsciously starts to put his arm around her. "I think we better switch sides." She laughs. "Ok gimpy."

"Actually someone who is gimpy has trouble walking." She lightly hits his arm. "Oh shut up."

For the first time in over three weeks they both laugh. She snuggles in under his arm. "She's getting in between us and she's not even in the room."

He exhales and pulls her closer. "We have to let her go. We can't let her take over our lives. She's not that important."

She lays her head on his chest. "I know I brought up the custody of the baby, but I have to tell you…….. I don't want…………….The way I feel now I don't think…. I don't want that baby in this house. I know it was my idea but I was just trying to make things easier for you. And at the same time I was starting to resent you, her and that poor little innocent life." Tears start to fill her eyes.

"Thank you."

She looks up at him. "What?"

"For telling me exactly how you feel about all this." He squeezes her lightly.

"I know how important it would be for you to have a child."

"Not that important, you mean much more." He kisses the top of her head. "I meant what I said about not being able to look at that baby."

"Bobby, are we horrible people?"

"No I don't think so. If I, we feel resentment now what guarantee do we have that it will ever go away." He sits up straight. "I don't think I could lie to that child its whole life as to who its mother is and no child should have to go through that." He exhales loudly. "I think the best thing to do now………….is nothing. Let's just wait and see. Maybe, later we'll feel different."

**Saturday Morning**

"Oh man I forgot all about this."

"What?"

"The car show. It's tomorrow."

"Are you still going to go?"

"Do you mind?"

"No go have fun."

The phone rings. Alex sets down her coffee mug. "I'll get it."

"Hello."

"_Hi Alex. It's Kenny. How are you?"_

"Good. How are you doing?"

"_Hanging in there, is Bobby there?"_

"Yeah he's right here. Hold on." She covers the mouthpiece. "Bobby its Kenny."

She holds out the phone for him. "Thanks. Hey Kenny what's up?"

"_Nicole's lawyer just called me…………..Man I thought this would be an easy thing to say."_

**TBC**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

"_Bobby please forgive my callousness. What I have to say, should not be taken so lightly, it's just that I know the hell you guys have been through the past few weeks." _

"Kenny. What the hell are you talking about?"

"_Nicole, she lost the baby last night."_

Silence. _"Bobby. Are you there?"_

"Yeah I'm here."

"_There is nothing suspicious."_

"Yeah right, with that one. God only knows. Thanks Kenny for calling. I appreciate it. Talk to you soon, bye."

He slowly puts down the receiver. Alex has been watching him throughout the conversation. "Bobby you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm alright."

"What did he have to say?"

"It was about Nicole."

"What is that bitch up to now?"

He looks up at her. "She lost the baby last night." He shakes his head as if he is trying to find the right words to say. "I'm not sure how I feel." He pauses as he walks over to the couch and sits down. "I don't feel sad or mad, nothing. Is there something wrong with me?"

Alex sits down next to him and takes hold of his hand. He looks over at her. "I should feel something, shouldn't I?"

"Don't you dare beat yourself up over this, you hear me. Give yourself some time, let it sink in."

"Yeah, you're right."

They hold each other in silence for a moment. "I think I'll go into the city this afternoon. I want to pack up a few more things to bring over here and then I want to pop in on my parents. I haven't seen them in awhile."

"Oh. Ok." He just nods his head.

"Alex."

"What?"

"I suddenly realized something. You haven't told your parents about us, have you?"

Silence.

"Alex, have you?"

"No."

"Why haven't you? Do I embarrass you?"

"Of course not and maybe you should get that chip off your shoulder."

"Why? I like it. I've had it for thirty years."

"Yeah well sometimes it gets a little annoying."

"Don't change the subject, you haven't answered my question."

"I don't know. I just haven't found the right time to tell them. Everything that we have been through the last few weeks has taken up so much of our time. I can't recall the last time we were with friends, or my family, can you?"

He kisses the top of her head. "She has filled up a lot of our time and energy hasn't she? He puts his arm around her shoulder and squeezes her lightly. "Is it over? Are we finally rid of her?"

She moves in closer. "I hope so, I really hope so."

She kisses his cheek. "I'll be right back I want to change." She walks toward the stairs. "I'm going to need more space in the closet." As she ascends the stairs, Bobby says, "I figured as much. I've seen you wardrobe."

She turns to face him. "You should talk. How many suits do you own?"

He smiles. "I can move some of them into the spare bedroom closet."

"Thank you."

"When are you leaving?"

"About eleven o'clock. Why?"

"Can I join you? I can help. I still have one good hand. Besides, I need to get out of this house. I'm going crazy."

"I would like the company." She pauses. "Oh. Bobby, do you have a suitcase I could borrow?"

"Yes. I'll get it."

**Later That Morning**

"Traffic was light this morning, thank God." Alex says as she unlocks her front door. "Oh it's stuffy in here."

"I'll open a window." Bobby says as Alex checks her mail.

"Is there anything good in the mail?"

She shakes her head. "No, same ole crap." She throws out the junk mail and places the bills in her bag.

"Bobby, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure. What?"

"While I go through my clothes would you please throw out everything in the refrigerator, I'm not sure what's in there but I haven't opened it for three weeks."

"Sure." As he walks toward the kitchen, he says. "Alex." He turns back around to face her. "Was it your plan to bring more of your stuff over to my place today?"

"What?"

"Or did you think of it when we found out about Nicole?"

"Can't you believe that I'm doing this because I want to be with you?"

"I'm just asking a question."

"Jesus Christ, you can't help yourself. My God why do have to be so Goddamn suspicious."

"From your reaction it seems that I may be right."

"No you are not right." She puts her arms up and exhales. "Do you think we can go through the rest of this day without another disagreement?"

"I doubt it." He smiles and takes a hold of her hand.

"Bobby do you feel that unsure of our relationship?"

"No. But I…………..You have been through so much shit with me these past few months. I just want you to be sure that this is...I am whom you want to be with."

"Yes I want to be with you. I love you, you big goof." She tugs on his arm. "My lease runs out in three months. What do you have to say to that?"

"That's how long it will probably take us to move all this shit out of here."

She looks around her apartment. "You may be right. There is over ten years of crap in here."

He smiles and pulls her close. "I'm sorry." He kisses her lightly on the lips."Big Goof?"

She shakes her head and smiles.

An hour passes and they have finished with their tasks. They pack up the car and she starts the engine. "Are you still going to visit your parents?"

"Yes I am."

"Don't you need to call first to see if they're home?"

"No. One of them is always home."

**The Eames Home**

John Eames answers the door. "Dad, how are you?"

"It is good to see you Alex" He hugs his daughter and then notices Bobby. "Bobby, how are you?"

"Fine thank you, how are you?"

"Good. I just finished a round of golf. You play?"

"No. Did you play while you were on the force?"

John nods his head and smiles. "I see your point." The men shake hands. "Come on in."

Alex sees her mother just starting to walk toward her. "Hi Mom, how are you today?"

"I little achy but I'm use to it." She looks past her daughter. "Bobby. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, thank you." He lightly grabs her hand. "How are you today Misses Eames?"

"Hanging in there, as my grandchildren would say." She looks down and points at his hand. "What happened?"

"I hit a window."

"What? Why?" She says showing concern.

"Because it was there and I was angry." He looks to Alex. "During therapy it happened during a session."

Alex looks away and sits down.

"Alex I always thought you talked to your parents about everything."

Three sets of eyes are on her. "No not like I use to. Have you told your Mom about Nicole or the hell she put us through the past few weeks."

Bobby shakes his head.

"Alex?" Her mother says with concern in her voice. "What's going on?"

"Nicole is the one who abducted him." John says.

Sara Eames nods her head. "I know who she is, John. What has she done?" She says looking at her daughter than Bobby.

Talking out of the side of his mouth. "What hasn't she done?" Bobby has trouble looking at the older couple. "This isn't an easy thing to say. But for the past few weeks we have been living with the fact that Nicole was pregnant." He pauses, "With my child."

John speaks. "Oh my God, no need to explain we understand." He says looking to his wife. She nods her head and takes a hold of Bobby's hand.

John continues. "That woman really is crazy. I think I might have hit a window."

"Double paned." Bobby smiles at the older man. "I'm not proud of it but it happened." He pauses. "We just found out this morning that she had a miscarriage last night."

"We?" Sara asks as she looks at her daughter. "Alex, how long?"

"Long? How long what Mom?"

"You know what I mean."

"Almost two months."

John looks to his daughter. "What's the big secret?"

Alex catches Bobby eye. "What are you looking at me for? They're your parents."

"I…we didn't mean to keep our relationship a secret. However, we have been avoiding most of the people in our lives these past few weeks. I am so sorry for not letting you in, I haven't told Laurie either, it wasn't intentional. It's just that we have been through three weeks of hell and…………"

Bobby interjects. "Maybe now we can go through a day and not have to think or talk about that woman. Just concentrate on us." He reaches over and takes her hand.

"I'm happy for you." Sara says. She kisses Bobby on the cheek and hugs her daughter.

John stands. "I always thought you two made the perfect partnership. Hell, you even finish each other's sentences. I wish the both of you the best."

Bobby stands and extends his hand. John shakes his hand. "Take care of my little girl. Hell I know you will."

Alex stand and walks over to her father and John opens his arms to hug his daughter. "Thank you. Dad, Mom. I love you both."

Bobby says. "Is anyone hungry? I'm hungry."

Alex breaks the hug. "Oh gees, he's always hungry."

"There is a nice little place down the street that opened up only a few months ago. Sara and I have eaten there a few times and they serve a nice variety of entrées. Would you two like to go? It will be my treat."

"You don't have to do that Mister Eames."

"I know, but I want to."

"Thank you."

"Alright let's go." Alex says.

**The Next Day**

Alex has the house to herself for the first time.

_I have never been here alone_.

Bobby has gone to the car show with his friends, Andy and Dave. Lewis was to go but he came down with the flu.

Alex has been tossing around the idea of visiting her sister but she has been feeling a little tired lately and the thought of getting ill goes through her mind, after all, it has been a few intense weeks for her and Bobby.

She decides to take advantage of the solitude and starts but making a pot of tea. She takes her cup of tea along with the paper and makes herself comfortable on the couch. She begins to the read the front-page story.

**Councilmen's Daughter Murdered**

_I wonder why we didn't get that case?_

She shrugs her shoulders.

She begins to read the story as she turns the page she glances up at the date. She starts to count.

"Oh, no."

**TBC**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

"Oh no, I don't believe this, maybe its stress. After all, the past few weeks have been a nightmare." She tosses the paper on the coffee table and picks up her cup of tea.

_Stop procrastinating Alex. You're never late. Get dressed and go to the store._

She changes her clothes and is in the car within ten minutes. She drives the five minutes to the pharmacy and parks the car. She walks slowly into the store. She feels a little weird buying this item but she picks up the first one she sees and walks directly to the cashier. The teenager behind the counter rings up the sale and puts it in a bag.

_He looked at me as if I was nuts. No it's just my imagination, what would he care._

She drives the five minutes back to Bobby's house and takes the item into the bathroom, opens the package, and read the instructions.

_For best results use with first morning's………..Oh damn I bought the wrong one._

"Shit!"

_I'll take it back, forget that I'm not going back there, I'll just have to wait._

The next few hours seemed to take forever. Bobby comes home and she immediately asks him if they could go out for dinner. He agrees but takes a quick shower first.

_I'll tell him during dinner._

While he is in the shower, she thinks of the words to tell him, and then she wonders.

_What if I'm not?_

_Wait, I'm going to wait. I want to be sure._

**Early the Next Morning**

Alex gets up before six am and goes into the bathroom. A few minutes later, she is sure.

She sits in the bathroom for a few minutes while the reality sinks in. Slowly a smile crosses her face. "I knew it, my God, I knew it."

She gets back in the bed and movement of the bed wakes him. He turns on his side to put his arm around her but all he grabs are her legs. She is sitting up in the bed. "Where were you?"

"I was in the bathroom." He looks up at her face. "What? Is there a bug in the bathroom again?"

"No." He waits for her to lie down but she does not. He rolls back over to his side of the bed.

"Bobby."

"Yeah," he says after a yawn. "What?"

Silence, she is searching for the right words but there are only two words to say.

He sits up and nudges her on the arm. "Do I have to say it again, what is it? What is the matter?"

"Bobby." She grabs his hand but looks straight ahead. "I'm……………..pregnant."

Nothing, not a word comes from him. "Bobby." She looks over at him. "Did you hear what I said?" Not exactly, the words she expected from him. "That's impossible, we've been using protection." She tugs on his arm and looks over at him. "Yes that's true we have…………but not the first two times."

"Yes we….Oh….That's right, oh man." He pauses. "How long have you known?"

"Since yesterday morning."

"Why didn't you say anything last night?"

"I was going to tell you during dinner then I decided to wait until I was sure, I didn't want to get my, our hopes up."

He stays quiet, too quiet for her, "You're upset?"

He puts his arm around her. "No not at all I was just thinking." He suddenly starts to laugh.

Alex pushes him. "What the hell are you laughing about?"

Bobby holds her hand up to his lips and kisses her hand. "We just told your parents about us on Saturday and now we have to tell them this, talk about doing things backward."

Alex smiles and starts to giggle, "I see what you mean."

Bobby pulls her closer and she lays her head on his chest. "There is a God." He says as he lightly squeezes her.

"Yes there is."

"This is cool, very cool. I have never heard those words before from any woman and I must say I like the way it sounds."

"Me too, I was a little nervous at first, especially after your first reaction but I am so happy about this I truly am."

"So am I, so what do we do now?"

She sits up. "First I'm going to take a shower, get some breakfast then go to work."

"You're funny, you know what I mean."

"I will call my doctor this morning and make an appointment."

Bobby reaches for her and kisses her lightly on the lips. "I love you Alex."

She extends her arms and hugs him, "I love you Bobby."

**Later That Morning**

As she descends the stairs, the smell of coffee fills the air. "Oh that smells good."

He pours her a cup as she sits at the table. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He sits down next to her. She raises the mug to her lips. "Wait!" She gets startled. "What?"

"Maybe you shouldn't drink coffee."

"What are you talking about?"

"Caffeine, the caffeine in coffee is harmful to the baby."

"Oh boy, I forgot who I was getting involved with, Bobby relax one cup of coffee is not harmful."

"I know that, but you usually have two or three."

"Bobby I promise only one cup, alright."

"I'm sorry I have no right to tell you what to do."

She pats his arm. "If you keep quiet and don't voice your opinion through this I would think that something is wrong. Don't you change who you are, because it makes me know how much you care. I love you for that, remember I may argue with you but please don't change."

"Ok." He takes a sip of coffee. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Cereal, are their cheerios left?"

"Yes."

**Doctor Marcia Paulson's Office**

After lunch Alex calls the doctor, she has an opening tomorrow afternoon at 2 PM. She takes it.

"Congratulations Alex," says Doctor Marcia Paulson. "I see that though it might not have been planned you are very happy about this, aren't you?"

"Oh yes I am, I am thrilled."

"So when do I get to meet him. I'm sorry maybe I am assuming too much."

"No there is a he and Bobby would have come today but he had a doctors' appointment this afternoon."

"Bobby, your partner, Bobby?"

"Yes."

"That's wonderful I wish you both the best." She turns to write some notes in a file and then hands Alex a slip of paper. "Here is your prescription for your vitamins, please make an appointment for four weeks from today and if you have any discomfort or any questions please don't hesitate to call. Again Alex congratulations. See you in a month."

"Bye doctor and thank you."

As she walks out of the office and down the hall, she calls Bobby on her cell. _"Hello."_

"Hi, it's me. It's definite."

**That Evening**

"Bobby."

"Yeah, I'm up here."

"What are you doing?" She says as she ascends the stairs.

"I'm cleaning up the bathroom."

"Paint, is that paint I smell?"

"Yeah, I painted the bathroom."

"Looks very nice, I like the color." She gives him a puzzled look.

"I was bored I had to do something, tomorrow I think I'll paint the kitchen."

She starts to laugh. "What?" He says. "A silly thought just went through my mind. You don't need a ladder, do you?"

"No. I don't, one advantage of being tall. How did everything go at the doctor?"

"Everything is fine I just picked up my vitamins or as my sister use to call them horse pills." She opens the bottle and takes one out. "See the size of these things."

"Anything else you have to or shouldn't do?"

"At this time no." She grabs his arm and pulls him close. "I'm fine, don't worry. I've been through this before, remember, I know what I can and cannot do, ok."

"I know that but I haven't, so if I am being annoying just tell me and I'll shut up." He pauses. "Look who I'm telling to…………..." He laughs and she smiles. "Bobby, remember what I said this morning." He nods.

"Go get changed, I have to finish cleaning up this mess."

Bobby descends the stairs and Alex is on the phone. "Yes Mom, you and Dad, Friday night we'll pick you up at seven, ok see you then. Goodbye."

"I take it we're going out to dinner with your parents Friday."

"Yeah I thought it would be nice."

"Tell them in public, so they won't start a scene."

"Oh stop it. We're not teenagers."

"I know that but………..It was a very irresponsible thing for us to do."

"All right it was, I know that but it happened. Are you starting to have regrets?"

"No." He takes a hold of her hand. "It's just that…………….There are only a few people in this world that I respect and your Dad is one of them. I just hope he doesn't lose his respect for me."

She pulls his arm, he bends down, and she kisses him on the lips, "I wouldn't worry about that trust me."

**Friday Night**

"Is there something that the two of you want to tell us?"

"John, what makes you say that?"

"He's too quiet." John says as he points at Bobby. "Besides I'm pretty good at reading people."

Bobby shakes his head and smiles, "You can tell them. It's alright with me."

"Mom, Dad." They look at her, Bobby included. "You guys don't have to stare, it's nothing bad, it's wonderful as a matter of fact." She pauses. "Then what is taking you so long in telling us?" John asks.

"I'm, we're going to have a baby, I'm six weeks pregnant." John stands up first and reaches for his daughter. Alex takes his hands and she stands, he hugs her. "That is good news, after everything that has happened." He turns to Bobby and extends his hand, "Bobby, I'm happy for you I really am."

"Thank you sir I really appreciate that."

"Thanks, Dad." Alex says.

Sara starts to move. "No Mom don't get up." Alex bends down and kisses her Mom.

"Oh that is so wonderful." Sara starts to tear up and so does Alex. "I am so happy for the both of you. Come here." Sara waves to Bobby. He bends down and Sara kisses his cheek. He grabs a hold of her hands and returns the kiss.

"Have you told your sister about this?"

"No Mom the only other person who knows is my doctor and we aren't telling anyone else until we tell Bobby's Mom."

**Sunday Afternoon**

**Carmel Ridge**

"I hope she doesn't have a heart attack over this, for a while I think she thought I was gay." Alex starts to laugh.

"I'm not kidding."

"I guess she doesn't know that you flirt with every female suspect and witness we have ever questioned."

"I don't do that."

She hits his arm. "Well may be not all of them but quite a few."

Bobby knocks on the door. "Be right there." The door opens. "Hi, Mom."

"Hi Bobby, Alex how are you both?"

"We're good, how are you and why are you still in your nightgown?"

"I was just going to take my shower, would you excuse me for a few minutes?"

"Sure go ahead."

Frances Goren emerges from the bathroom and she is dressed in a pair of black pants and a white blouse. "Is that new?" Bobby asks.

"Yes, they took a few of us into town the other day and I bought some new clothes."

"You look nice."

"Thank you."

She puts on some jewelry and turns to face them. "What's the matter, has something happened?"

"You could say that." Bobby looks to Alex. "It's your turn."

"Mom I, we have something to tell you."

"Should I sit down, is it bad news?"

"You can sit if you want but it's not bad news it's good news. We think so anyway. Alex is…………." Alex cuts him off. "See it's not that easy to say, is it?"

"Alright, alright, Alex and I are gonna have a baby."

France sits down and just stares at them. "Mom did you hear what I said?"

"Yes I heard you, I'm gonna be a grandma." She looks out the window. "Hopefully I'll be a better grandma than I was a mother."

"Stop that!" She keeps looking out the window. "It's true Bobby."

"No it's not and I'm not in the mood for this shit." She refuses to look at him. "If this is to be your mood for the rest of the afternoon, we're leaving."

Frances turns her head to face her son. "Mom are you done, are you done feeling sorry for yourself?"

"Yes, I'm sorry." She shakes her head and exhales as she gets up from the chair. "I am very happy for the both of you." She walks over to Alex first and she extends her arms, they embrace. "Thank you." Alex says.

Frances breaks the hug and slowly walks over to her son. "Bobby." She takes his hand. "I'm sorry, I was thinking about myself." She taps his cheek. "I love you and I am so happy for you. You will let me visit the baby, right."

"Mom, what is this all about?" Frances returns to the chair and sits down.

Bobby looks to his Mom and then at Alex. His mind is racing. "Damn."

Alex says. "What?"

"It's my brother's birthday today." He kneels down in front of her and takes her hand. "Mom I can't help you with that, I'm sorry. He's a big boy and he's not my responsibility." She looks away from him. Bobby quickly stands up and turns toward Alex. "Come on Alex, let's go."

"Bobby please don't leave. No more today I promise."

He stops and turns around. "Alright. Let's go, I'm hungry." She takes his hands as he leads her to the door. "We can go somewhere else besides Rose's today."

He holds the door open for Alex and Frances. "It's alright Mom, we like it there."

TBC 


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

"You handled that situation with your Mom very well."

"The thing to remember is to be firm and not yell. She had enough of that from my Dad and my brother, but that was minor compared to some of them. One time about five years ago, she started and I threatened that I would walk out, and I did. Needless to say she was surprised."

"She seems happy about the baby."

"She is very happy but afraid at the same time."

"She thinks you're going to forget about her."

He nods his head as he says, "Yes."

"That's silly."

"It might seem that way to you but it is understandable."

"After all the two of you have been through how could she honestly think that you would just abandon her?"

"She's preparing herself. After all, people have been leaving her all her life. I just want her to be happy." He takes her hand in his and kisses her hand. "And you, I think I can take care of the two……three of you."

"I have no doubt about that."

**One Police Plaza**

**Three Weeks later**

Captain Deakins says as he sees Bobby enter the squad room, "Goren welcome back. How's the hand?"

"I still have physical therapy to do but it's almost as strong as before."

"Before this week is over you have to get to the shooting range."

"I know." He nods his head. "I will."

"Maybe it will be an easy day," Deakins says as he walks back to his office.

Coffee in hand Bobby sits down. "Place looks the same."

Bobby finishes his coffee and is just about to get up from his chair to another cup when the Captain returns. "We have a murder victim. His body was discovered outside his apartment building. You guys ever hear of Wilson Lincoln?"

Alex says, "The over priced. Get my rich defendants off, even if they are guilty lawyer."

Deakins points in Alex's direction, "That's him."

He hands Bobby the note with the address. Bobby takes the note from his hand, "Here we go. Some things never change." He gets up quickly and starts for the elevator, thinking that Alex is right behind him. "Do you," he turns.

Alex is still sitting at her desk, "Eames you coming."

She slowly moves her head in his direction, "Eames. What the hell is that?"

He smiles as he walks back toward her, "I'm sorry, it's this place, Alex you coming."

"Yeah," she says, but remains in her chair.

He is now standing next to her desk, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she says shaking her head.

"You wouldn't lie to me now, would you?"

"No I wouldn't. When you said some things never change, you are so right. Not that you would ever wish harm on anyone but the look you get on your face. Yea, let's go get those bad guys." She pauses as she puts her head down. "I'm sorry."

Bobby puts his hands on her desk as he bends down, "For what?"

"For thinking that was all you were. You remember what I said, he's like my partner just wants to be left alone to do what he does best, catch bad guys. You are so much more than that."

"It's alright it was a long time ago."

"It bothered you when I said that, didn't it?"

He hesitates before he answers, "At the time it did, yes."

She stands almost ready to hug him but then they look around quickly and remember where they are. Alex whispers, "I owe you a hug." He smiles and puts his hand on her back, "Come on, let's go."

They start to walk toward the elevator. Alex pushes the button. "Don't get to close to anyone."

"I can take care of myself Bobby." The elevator door opens, "I know that, humor me ok?"

**Doctor Marcia Paulsen's Office**

**Friday Afternoon**

Alex whispers, "Bobby are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm ok. I just feel a little weird."

"Why? There are other guys here."

"No, that's not it, they all look so young."

"Oh please, Marcia told me that she has at least six patients who are over forty and having their first child."

"She should schedule all of the older ones at the same time."

Alex hooks her arm in his. "I'll bet you that the people in here are all at least thirty to thirty-five."

"How do you know? Did you ask them?"

"No I didn't, they look at least that old." She lets go of his arm and sits back in the chair. "Besides I'm a police detective I know."

"Yeah, so am I. And I say that they are younger than that."

"Alright that's enough, can we drop this now." She pats his thigh. "Don't worry about it, what's the old saying. You're as young as you feel."

"Yeah and sitting in this room with these kids I feel like……………"

"Alex Eames," says a nurse.

Alex stands, "Come on."

They follow the nurse down the hall, the first stop the scale. Alex says, "Don't look."

He turns around, "Ok I won't."

Little jots in the chart and they follow the nurse in an examination room. "The doctor will be right with you."

Alex sits in one the chairs as Bobby starts to pace around the little room. "Bobby don't open any drawers."

"I won't. What happens next?"

"The doctor will check my blood pressure and we will probably hear the baby's heartbeat."

"Really, The baby's heartbeat," he smiles.

A few minutes pass and they hear a knock on the door. "Good morning Alex."

"Morning, Marcia, I'd like you to meet Bobby, Bobby this is Doctor Paulsen."

Bobby extends his hand, "It's nice to meet you Doctor."

"Finally a face to go with the name, it's nice to meet you Bobby."

"Alex please will you get up on the table."

Marcia reads over the information in the file. "Your weight gain is minimal, that's good. Remember eat healthy, but eat, when you feel hungry stop and eat."

"I will, I do."

"Are you two still partners?"

"For the time being yes we are," Bobby says.

"Good, make sure she eats. Don't worry about gaining some weight, Alex. I emphasize the word some weight it's healthy for you and the baby."

"Let's check your blood pressure. Alex please roll up your sleeve."

Marcia checks her blood pressure. "120 over 60, very good," she says.

Marcia asks, "Bobby should I take yours?"

He just smiles and shakes his head nervously. Alex and Marcia can't help but laugh.

"Alex, will you please lie down?"

Alex lies down and as Marcia is examining her, she asks questions, "Any discomfort?"

"No. No morning sickness this time."

"Trouble sleeping?"

"No."

"Good, that's good."

"Let's take a listen to the baby's heartbeat." Marcia turns to open a drawer and retrieves a Fetal Doppler. She applies a little jelly over Alex's stomach. Within a few minutes, the baby's heartbeat fills the room. Bobby says, "It's awfully fast."

"It's supposed to be, it's very strong and the beat is sound."

Marcia wipes up the gel and places the Doppler back in the drawer. "Bobby I have some pamphlets outside that you should read."

Alex says, "He has read at least twenty internet articles about pregnancy and child birth along with three books he got from the library as far as the pamphlets, he's read some of them and the rest are in his pocket." Marcia smiles, "How about you Alex, have you read any of them?"

"Read them? I'm living it." They all laugh.

"Alex I have the schedule for the birthing classes if you would like to attend them. I know you attended the last time you were pregnant. I'm not saying you have to go again but if you decide to go…………anyway here is the schedule."

"Thanks Marcia."

"Ok Alex, Bobby I will see you in a month. Remember Alex, if you have any questions or feel any discomfort do not hesitate to call…………something tells me if any of that happens that Bobby will call."

"Thanks Doctor, it was nice meeting you."

"You too Bobby, take care of her. Ah I know you will."

She opens the door and leaves the room. "Are we going to that class?"

"No………….. Yeah maybe we should, I'll call tomorrow and sign us up."

He helps her off the table, "You call your Doctor by her first name?"

"Yes. She has been my doctor since I was eighteen. It started about five maybe six years ago. As I recall she insisted on it."

He takes her hand as he opens the door, "She said something that we haven't even discussed yet."

"I know," Alex says, "Our partnership."

"You……..we had better tell the Captain soon. I think after awhile he will notice something different about you."

**One Police Plaza**

**Monday Early Evening**

Bobby and Alex have just returned from an interview with two of the victim's employees. The captain sees them enter the squad room and inquires about the results. They fill him in on the progress of the case.

As he turns to leave, Alex says, "Captain, could we have a word with you before you leave for the night."

"Sure, we can talk now."

Alex tilts her head at Bobby and he nods. They get up from their chairs and follow the Captain into his office. Alex sits while Bobby stands next to the window.

"Alright you're already making me nervous, Goren has been in the room a minute and he hasn't said anything, what's wrong?"

They look at each other waiting for the other to start talking. "Ok this is what's going on," Bobby says as he walks closer to the Captain's desk. "Alex and I, as you already know are…………"

"I'm pregnant Captain and this time I'm keeping it, I'm due in March and if you haven't figured it out by now, Bobby is the father and we've been living together for over a month now."

Bobby points to Alex, "Yeah that's it."

Deakins does not speak but he has a smile on his face as wide as the ocean. "I think that is wonderful, I really do." He stands up and extends his arms to Alex. She takes a hold of his hands and gets up from the chair. He kisses her cheek. "Congratulations Alex, I wish you the best." He turns and Bobby backs up. "Don't worry Bobby. I'm not going to kiss you." They all laugh as the men shake hands.

"We would, if it's alright with you and whoever upstairs to remain partners until I go on maternity leave."

"You can work the street up until your sixth month, after that I have to put you on desk duty, so maybe in the next couple of months I'll bring in your substitute, so he or she can get their feet wet."

"You mean get use to him," Alex says as she points toward Bobby.

"I couldn't have said it any better myself."

"That's very funny."

"That would be fine Captain and thank you."

"Thanks Captain," Bobby says as he reaches for the doorknob. "Goodnight."

"See you, tomorrow."

Alex and Bobby walk toward the elevator. It is very quiet in the squad room. Most of the detectives have left for the evening. "That wasn't so hard." Bobby says as he pushes the down button on the elevator.

**The Baby's Sonogram**

**Boy Or Girl?**

"What is that," Bobby says as he points to a blob on the screen. "Right there, is that what I think it is or does the baby have an extra finger."

"Yes it's a boy."

Alex smiles at the look on his face, and takes his hand.

The technician says. "Have you guys picked any names yet?"

Bobby says, "No, we can't seem to agree on any name boy or girl."

"Well at least now we only have to agree on a boys' name," Alex says.

Bobby asks, "Are you ok?"

"Of course boy or girl it doesn't matter just as long as it's healthy."

"Maybe you guys should get a book of baby names."

Bobby reaches for his leather case and opens it. He takes out a book of baby names and shakes it front of the technician. She smiles, "Never mind."

"The book has made it worse, more names to choose from. First, he says to me, pick a name. I pick one and then he says I don't like that name it reminds me of somebody from somewhere. So then, I tell him all right you pick one, and what does he say. I can't think of any."

**Alex's Eighth Month**

Alex is sitting on the couch reading a book when the urge to pee hits her. She wiggles and wiggles to get up but she can't stand up. "Bobby!"

"What?"

"Help!"

"Are you stuck in the couch again?"

"Yes."

He walks into the room and smiles at her. "Why don't you try to roll out?" She gives him a look instead of saying the words, "If looks could kill." He extends his arm and with one easy pull, she is standing. "Alex if you're going to sit on this couch you have to remember." He tosses three pillows where she was sitting, "To put the pillows behind your back."

"Yes I know, I know, I forgot."

"What if you sit here and you forget the pillows and I'm not here, you'd be stuck here for God's knows how long."

"Bobby please I know." She walks toward the stairs, stops and looks up. "We need to get a bathroom downstairs." He laughs. "I use to say that to my Dad all the time."

**Two Weeks Till The Due Date**

Alex is having another sonogram and after this one, Doctor Paulsen is notified, "The baby is breech and in my experience the reality of him turning at this time is very rare."

Bobby asks, "Does it ever happen?"

"Yes it has, but not to any of my patients."

"What do we do?"

"We will have to perform a C-section."

Bobby and Alex look at each other and then the doctor. Alex asks, "It's painful isn't it?"

"Alex there will be discomfort, no doubt about that. It's an operation and your recovery time will be three to four days in the hospital maybe longer depending on your healing time and at least ten days to two weeks at home. The more help you can get to take care of the baby the better. Your mobility will be slow and breastfeeding may be difficult, you may want to use a nursing pillow or start pumping."

Bobby is very quiet. "Bobby any questions?"

"Will you be performing the surgery?"

"Yes I will."

"She has to be in there alone?"

"No. You are allowed to go in the operating room, decked out in scrubs and a mask."

A broad smile crosses both their faces. She hands them a calendar. "You're due in two weeks, so pick your baby's birthday."

Bobby looks at Alex and she looks at him. "Go ahead, you pick," he says.

"Monday, Monday is good day."

"No. Monday's are horrible, Tuesday is better."

She looks at the doctor, "Didn't he just tell me to pick the day."

Doctor Paulsen just nods her head and smiles.

"Bobby here," She hands him pamphlets on C-sections."

He smiles, "Thanks."

"Ok I will meet you at the hospital Tuesday morning nine am. Any questions please do not hesitate to call."

"Thank you Marcia," Alex says.

"Everything will be just fine."

"Good night Doc….Marcia."

**Monday Evening**

Alex wakes from a familiar pain. A labor pain, she slowly gets out of bed and walks down the stairs. She checks the clock it is eleven-thirty five. The pains increases and the contractions get closer and closer with each passing hour.

They were due to check into the hospital at nine am this morning for the C-section.

**Tuesday Morning**

A quick check of the clock it is now four AM. She walks back up the stairs, "Bobby." She shakes him. "Bobby."

"Yeah," he says.

"I have to go now."

"Ok see ya."

"Oh Jesus," She shakes him harder. "Bobby wake up we have to go to the hospital now."

He lifts himself up and checks the time. "Alex it's too early to leave for the hospital I know traffic can be brutal but it's not going to take four and half hours to get to the hospital."

"Bobby believe me, we have to go now."

"It's not time." He lies back down in the bed. "Tell that to the baby," Alex says.

He gives her a puzzled look. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm in labor. I have been since after eleven."

"Ok, ok." He slowly gets out of bed and walks into the bathroom, a quick splash of water on his face, and a gargle, he then returns to the bedroom. "Where is the bag you packed?"

She points, "Over there." He picks up her bag. "You'll need a coat its cold outside."

"I'll get a coat." She looks him up and down. "If you get some pants on."

"What." He looks down. "Oh crap," he says.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes I'm just tired. I don't suppose you can drive?" he steps back from the look on her face. "Gees where did all these dirty looks come from, I hope they fade……….never mind."

"Do you want me to call the doctor?"

"I called her before I woke you up."

"How about your family, should I call them?"

"No. Not until the baby comes."

"Are you sure, you don't want your Mom or sister there?"

She links her arm in his and lightly tugs on him, "Why would I need them, I have you. Now come on let's go."

**TBC**

**Help I need some suggestions for the baby's name--**


	23. Chapter 23

**Thanks for the suggestions of the baby's name. Since I received three for the name Robert, I went with it…**

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

**The Hospital**

"Good morning," Bobby says to the receptionist.

"Good morning."

"As you can see she is going to have a baby."

The woman smiles, "Yes I can see that, your name?"

"Bobby." Alex pokes him. "Oh you mean her name, its Alex, Alex Eames."

"You guys are too early. We have you scheduled to come in at nine AM."

"We tried to tell that to the baby but you know how kids are? He wouldn't listen," Alex says.

The receptionist smiles as she asks, "How long?"

"Since eleven this evening," She pauses due to a contraction, "Is Doctor Paulsen here?"

"No not yet. Let's get you into a room."

Marcia arrives and Alex is prepared for the surgery. An epidural is injected and quickly she starts to feel numb from the rib cage down. A nurse gives her some chalky stuff, called Bictra, which neutralizes her stomach acids. After a catheter and IV are set in place Alex is wheeled into the operating room. Bobby is very quiet but he never lets go of her hand.

Alex asks, "Are you alright?"

"Me, don't worry about me I'm fine. Are you alright?"

"Bobby they could cut my legs off and I wouldn't feel a thing."

"Jokes she makes jokes now."

A nurse hands Bobby a surgical gown and mask and he suits up.

There is a barrier set up and as the surgery starts, Bobby is sitting next to Alex close to her head. Alex whispers to him, "You can look if you want."

"What makes you think I want to look?"

"Because I know you, go ahead."

He shakes his head, "No it's alright."

Marcia says, "If you want to look you can, you're tall enough you should be able to see right over the barrier."

He stands up slowly but never lets' go of her hand. "You should see this." He looks at Alex and she smiles at him. "Oh my God this is amazing."

Marcia places her hand underneath the baby's head and forms a cradle. Bobby asks, "What is that?"

"The uterus," Marcia says as she pushes the top of the uterus and elevates the head out of the pelvis. The baby's shoulders and body follow.

Alex catches her doctor's eye. "You should see what he does to our M.E."

Marcia smiles, "It's alright."

A second later, their son is born. She gently lays him down on Alex's stomach and then she hands Bobby the scissors to cut the cord, "Here Bobby."

Marcia holds him up for Alex to see. Alex can only smile at her son. She is not able hold him because her arms are held down by straps, quickly a nurse whisks him away for care. The nurse cleans the baby and then she wraps him in a blanket and places him in the "warmer" to keep his body temperature steady.

Bobby sits back down as Marcia stitches Alex back up. Alex starts to shake. "Why is she shaking like that?"

"You guys know that I tell you everything."

They both nod their heads. "Medical science has no explanation for that."

The baby weighed in at 8 pounds, 9 ounces and measured 21 ¾ inches long. Born on March 6th at five forty-six am.

"He's a lot smaller than I thought he would be." He then lightly kisses her forehead. "Go to sleep you look tired."

"I will if you will."

"I'm not tired besides, I have phone calls to make. I can call people now right?"

"Yes."

"Who should I call first, your Mom?"

"Yes and then she will call everyone else."

**An Hour Later**

Alex is out of recovery and in her room, she is trying to sleep but the bed is uncomfortable. Bobby walks in, "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I'm trying, but already I want to go home." They turn their heads toward the door when the nurse wheels the baby's bassinet into the room. She picks him up and hands him to Alex. "Let me guess, he's hungry."

The nurse smiles, "He can stay in here all day with you. If you put him back in the bassinet and he starts to cry and you're alone please don't get out of the bed to get him, push the buzzer."

"I will thank you."

"Well I called everyone. Considering they already knew the day, they all still were surprised by the news."

"Did you call your Mom?"

"No. I will drive up tomorrow afternoon and pick her up."

"Bobby?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Invite your Mom to stay with us for a couple of weeks, my sister has her own family and my Mom is not able to pick up a baby because of the weakness in her arm and as Marcia suggested the more help the better, besides I think it would be good for her, what do you think?"

He smiles, "You're amazing, you know that?"

She waves for him to bend down and they kiss. He sits down on the bed and lightly caresses his son's head, "Hey little guy, we'd better come up with a name soon, I'm getting use to calling him little guy."

Alex says, "How about, Robert?"

"Oh that's original."

"I like your name, don't you?"

"Sure I do, how about Alexander?"

"Back at ya, that's original."

The baby has finished suckling, "Bobby can you change his diaper?" Bobby picks him up and lays him gently on the bed. "I've never done this before."

"The one thing to remember when you change a boy is to cover up his penis with one of those baby wipes or he'll squirt you, happened to me when I changed my nephew the first time."

"He's so small. My hand is the same size as his body." He slowly and carefully removes the diaper. "Don't forget the wipe." He laughs. "Hey I did it."

"I never doubted that you couldn't," she pauses, "Robert."

"What?"

"Robert Alexander, what do you think of that?"

"Robert Alexander, I like it, but you realize his initials with be RAG."

"You would think of that."

They hear familiar voices out in the hall. He moves away from the bed. "Where are you going?"

He points, "Over here, why?"

"Don't you take a back seat to my family, sit here next to me," she points to the chair next to the bed.

**A Few Hours Later **

"Good morning Alex, you did well."

"So did you."

Marcia looks around the room, "Where's Bobby?"

"I sent him home to get some sleep."

The doctor pulls up the bandage to check the stitching. "I want you to remember do not get out of this bed by yourself, please call for help. You may be a little wobbly."

"I will."

"Are you feeling any pain?"

"It's very dull."

"Good."

"Marcia I want to apologize again for Bobby."

"Don't you dare, he's adorable and curious and I like him. I have to tell you though after all the C-sections that I have performed he is the only Dad who ever looked over of the barrier."

**The Next Afternoon**

**Carmel Ridge**

He knocks on her door, and then enters, "Mom."

"Bobby, how nice, a visit in the middle of the week, you look tired."

He kisses her cheek. "Well, you're a grandma."

She hugs him. "Oh how wonderful."

"I had a talk with the Doctor and I told him that I want you to come for a visit. Maybe a week of two, Alex says that she could use the help and between you and her Mom…. Anyway there will plenty for you to do."

"Are you sure that you want me there?"

"Oh Jesus, not again, why do you do this to me?" He sits down in the chair and puts his face in his hands. "Yes I want you there, you're my Mom and you have just as much right to visit your grandson as the Eames family, now let's start packing."

**The Hospital**

Alex is asleep and so is the baby. "You haven't told me his name," Frances says.

"It took months but we finally agreed on Robert Alexander."

"I like that name." As she peeks in the bassinet, he starts to move his body and then his arms start to move. "Any second now and he will cry," Frances says. "May I pick him up?"

"Of course," Bobby says.

She picks him up and sits down in a chair next to the bed. "He's so beautiful. It has been years and years since I have held a baby. I forgot how precious it feels." She lightly kisses his forehead. Frances looks up at her son. She can see a tear in his eye and she smiles, Robby starts to squeak and Alex opens her eyes when she hears him.

"How long did you sleep?"

"About two hours, with help from a nurse I put him back in the bassinet and we both had a nap."

"Hi Frances, it's good to see you."

"He is beautiful, how are you?"

"A little sore but I'm not feeling much pain any more."

Frances stands up and places the baby in Alex's arms. "I think he needs you now."

"Have you agreed to stay with us for a while, we could use the help."

"Yes I would love to help. Thank you."

Bobby winks at Alex and she smiles.

Frances visits for two weeks and she was very helpful. She enjoyed every minute of her stay. The family visiting every day starts to fade.

**Four Weeks Later**

"Bobby, I was thinking."

"About what?" he says.

"Maybe taking some extra time off to stay home with the baby, what do you think?"

"I'll tell you exactly what I think, it's your decision and whatever you decide I will support you."

"I love my job but I keep having this thought about a babysitter telling me about his first word or she'll say _Oh Alex he took his first step today_, I want to see that for myself, stupid huh?"

He takes a hold of her hand. "No not at all."

**Six Weeks Later**

Alex wakes and notices the time six AM. Robby is in a cradle at the edge of their bed. She grabs Bobby's arm and shakes him. "Bobby, wake up."

"What?" He opens his eyes and takes a quick look at the clock.

"Did you get up with the baby at 2 AM?"

He answers, "No, why?"

"Because I didn't either," Alex jabs him. "Look, please."

"Oh he's fine. He probably slept through the night." Bobby slowly crawls down the bed to peek, "He's awake now, any second he'll start," and he does, after a clean diaper Bobby carries him down stairs to give him his bottle while Alex takes a shower.

Alex descends the stairs and the smell of coffee fills the air. Bobby is sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee and looking through the paper. Robby is fidgeting in his carry all.

"Oh that coffee smells good." She sits down and puts two pieces of bread into the toaster. "Bobby I was wondering. Would it be alright if I changed the bedroom?"

He answers her but continues to read the paper, "Into what?"

"It is a nicely decorated room………….for a guy."

He keeps looking through the paper, "You want to redecorate the room, go right ahead, it's fine with…………."

She sees a look on his face that she hasn't seen for months, he looks very pale, "My God Bobby what's the matter?"

He lays the paper in front of her, "Look at the date." She looks down at the paper, "April 19, yeah, so………………Holy shit!"

"Holy shit is right, it's been a year." He sits back in the chair. "After everything that had happened to me I was sure it was going to be the worse twelve months of my life but it has turned out to be the best." He takes a hold of her hand. "She's rotting in prison and I'm sitting in my house with my family, what's that ole saying, who could ask for anything more."

They embrace and Robby makes sounds in his seat. They break the hug and smile at him.

**Later In the Week**

"Alex, where are you?"

She peeks out from the couch. "Here."

Bobby walks over to her quickly, "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I just sat down for a minute, about an hour ago and fell asleep."

"Where's the baby?"

"I sent him to the store for some milk."

"She's back…………Very funny."

They hear a squeak on the monitor and a few seconds later the cry. Alex gets up from the couch. "Bobby, please get the baby and I'll warm up the bottle.

"Sure," Bobby quickly makes his way up the stairs. The baby is still in a cradle in their bedroom. "Hey little guy, oh man how come every time I come to get you, you have a surprise for me." He picks the boy up from the cradle and lays him on the changing table. "You know when you were younger the odor wasn't so bad."

The baby wiggles as he takes the diaper off. One thing that Alex has told him repeatedly is to cover the baby's penis when you change his diaper and of course, Bobby forgets. "You couldn't have done that a minute ago. Well Mommy always reminds me but I forgot again." He diapers the boy. "I guess Mommy wants you in these clothes now." He puts the boy in a fresh sleeper.

He carries the boy downstairs and Alex extends her arms to take him, Bobby says, "I'll do it, why don't you go take a nice long soak in the tub."

She hands him the bottle and then puts her hands on his face and kisses him. "Have I told lately how much I love you?"

He sits down on the couch and clicks on the television. "Let's check out the news, my boss, Captain Ross, will be on tonight, was he in a bad mood today and for once it wasn't because of me. Man I miss Deakins, oh well, no more talk about work today."

Alex finds Bobby and the baby on the couch. The baby is asleep in his carryall. Dad is light rubbing Robby's legs and toes and he is pretty close to sleep himself.

She can't help but smiles at the sight.

Bobby has changed, both in his outlook of life, and attitude toward his job. His passion for truth and justice is still high, but his passion for Alex and their son is higher. She loves him even more than before. The things that were important to him aren't so important anymore and she and the baby have taken its place.

Alex sits down on the other side of her son and then she suddenly realizes something. Aloud she says, not knowing that Bobby is awake, "Oh no!"

With his eyes still closed he says, "Oh no what?"

"We forgot something, something very important."

He sits up and looks around the room wondering if it was something, he was to do. He looks over at her. "What? What did we forget?"

She reaches over her son and takes a hold of Bobby's hand, "We forgot to get married."

A sigh of relief comes from him as he sits back in the couch and closes his eyes. "Oh is that all."

**THE END**

**I have to admit, putting The End on this story is a little sad. I had such a great time writing it, but the story will continue…………….I am working on a Wedding Story, should be coming soon………**

**Thanks to all of you for your comments, being my first fic, I didn't know what to expect but you guys have been great…a special thanks to you seasoned writers……….. **


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